5 “Izimpawu Ezixutshiwe” Eziyizimpawu Eqinisweni

Kukhona ukukhuluma okuningi "kwezimpawu ezixubile" ezivela kubantu abangashadile ngenkathi bethandana. Ngikhulume ngalokhu nabangane futhi ngikhulume ngalokhu namakhasimende. Abantu abaningi abangashadile bazidla ngokuzama ukuqonda nokunquma izitatimende nezenzo eziphikisanayo (noma ukungenzi lutho) kwalowo ozoba umlingani naye. Benginecala lalokhu nami phambilini — futhi kuyakhathaza impela nokumosha isikhathi namandla.

Kepha nansi into okufanele uyenze njalo khumbula: Akufanele kube njalo ngakho-ke kanzima. Akudingeki uhlale uqagela noma ukhathazeke ngokuthi omunye umuntu ucabangani noma ukuthi uzizwa kanjani. Yebo, ingxenye yokuqomisana nokuphishekela ubudlelwano obusha kudinga ukunethezeka ngokungaziwa nokungaqiniseki, kepha kwesinye isikhathi, kufanele uzibuze, "Ngabe lo muntu wenza imizamo noma wenza izinto uhhafu-a * *?" Futhi uma kunokuntuleka kwemizamo noma ukungahambelani okubonakalayo, kungenzeka ukuthi, lo muntu akatshalwanga ngokweqiniso noma okungenani akakakulungeli ukutshala ebudlelwaneni nawe.

Kungazwakala kunokhahlo, kepha ufanele umlingani ozibophezele futhi ozolandela. Ufanelwe ukuthi othile akwenzele isikhathi sakho (ngoba kukhona njalo isikhathi). Ufanelwe umuntu ozozama. Ufanelwe umuntu ozoveza obala imizwa yakhe ngawe. Ufanele umuntu ofuna ukuba sebudlelwaneni nawe noma wokuphinda abe nobuhlobo nawe.

Nazi “izimpawu ezixubile” ezinhlanu okufanele zikukhombise ukuthi uhambe.

1. Umzamo omncane (kodwa othile): Bahlanganyela nawe kepha hhayi njalo. Bazama ukufinyelela kwesinye isikhathi, kepha kubonakala sengathi abanasifiso sokuchitha isikhathi nawe (noma okungenani hhayi njalo). Ababuzi ngawe — unjani, unjani usuku lwakho, yini oyithandayo. Futhi uma bebuza ngawe, empeleni ababonakali bekhathalela. Uzizwa sengathi wenza iningi lomsebenzi.
2. Ukuntuleka kokulandela: Bathi bazophinda bashaye ucingo noma bafinyelele “emuva kwesikhathi” bese bengakwenzi. Noma uma befinyelela kamuva, yizinsuku / amasonto / izinyanga kamuva. Bavame ukwenza amapulani kepha bese bekhansela noma be-flake. Bathi bayakuthakazelela noma “bayakuthanda” (futhi kungazizwa kanjalo) kodwa musa ukwenza isikhathi sokwazi wena noma sokuqhubekisela phambili ubuhlobo.
3. Kuyashisa futhi kuyabanda: Ezinye izinsuku zibonakala ngathi "zingene" kwezinye izinsuku hhayi kakhulu. Unezinsuku zokuzijabulisa nezingxoxo bese kuba nezikhathi zokuxhumana okuncane nokushintshana okufushane kuphela. Ungazizwa sengathi kune "chemistry enhle impela" kwezinye izinsuku bese kuba kuncane kwezinye.
4. Ukungaqiniseki ngalokho "abakufunayo": Bangathi banentshisekelo futhi bavele (noma benze) banentshisekelo kepha banqikaze ukukhuluma ngekusasa noma bazibophezele kunoma yini (izinhlelo, ukukhetheka). Banikeza izaba zokuthi kungani bengakwazi ukuzibophezela noma ukuthi yini okudingeka yenzeke empilweni yabo ukuze bazibophezele noma "balungele."
5. Khuluma inkulumo: Ngokuyinhloko bayizikhulumi. Bangakugeza ngamazwi okuvuma nokuqinisekiswa. Baxhumana nawe njalo, kepha ubona okuncane kakhulu kubo. Bakhuluma ngalokho “okungaba” phakathi kwenu nobabili nokuthi banendaba kangakanani noma bafuna ukuthandana nani, kodwa akuhambisani nezenzo zabo. Futhi, akukho okulandelayo.

Ngakho-ke, lezi zimpawu ezixubekile, kukhona empeleni “kuyisignali” —amafulege ansundu noma abomvu, ngisho. Futhi yize kungenzeki kakhulu ngawe (ngicabanga ukuthi kunamathuba angama-99.9% ukuthi akuhlobene nawe), lokhu kuziphatha nokungahambelani kungitshela ukuthi umuntu akekho endaweni empilweni yakhe lapho enamandla okuba khona umlingani omuhle noma usekulungele nokuba sebudlelwaneni obungathi sína noma obuzinikele.

Uma "upholile" ngokuthile okusohlangothini olungakhululekile futhi olungenakulindeleka ( sawubona, mhlawumbe nawe uhlangabezana nokungabaza okuthile noma awukulungele ukungena kunoma yini) , futhi bekhululekile ukuqhubeka ngaphandle kokulindela, khona-ke into efana nalena ingakusebenzela. Kodwa uma lezi zimpawu zikukhathaza futhi ulokhu uhlukumeza ubuchopho bakho futhi uzama ukufunda phakathi kwemigqa — hamba uhambe. Akunandaba nesizathu (okungukuthi, ukwesaba, ukugwema, ukungazi, ukuzibophezela). Akufanele neze uxoshe noma uqinisekise othile ukuthi akwenzele isikhathi.

Ngakho-ke, mayeke futhi wazi ukuthi umuntu ofanele uzobe ekulungele futhi efuna ukuchitha isikhathi nawe futhi ahlangane nawe maphakathi.

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