Izizathu ezi-5 zokuthi amaNarcissist athanda ukuHoovering

Uma ubandakanyeka kumuntu osebenzisa i-narcissist, kungenzeka ukuthi uhlangabezane nemizwa ehlukahlukene engajabulisi ngenxa yalokho. Iningi lamakhasimende ami abelokhu ethola ukuhlukunyezwa ngokweqile benze imizamo yokuziqhelelanisa nomhlukumezi wabo kepha kaninginingi, babuyiselwa emzileni we-narcissist. AbakwaNarcissist badinga abantu abababuyisele emuva ekuthini bayamangalisa, bahlukunyezwa, noma abaqondwa kahle kangakanani. Bafuna ukulawula abantu futhi balimaze nobuhlungu. AbakwaNarcissist bayaphumelela emdlalweni futhi babe nabantu bokuhlukumeza noma ukuveza njengomshushisi. Akunandaba noma ngabe i-narcissist empilweni yakho ingakwenza uzizwe uphansi kangakanani, uma ugcwalisa izidingo zabo ngandlela thile, bafuna wena. Njengabanekhono kakhulu ekukhohliseni, bazokwenza konke okusemandleni ukukuphindisela emuva, kufaka phakathi ukuhexa.

Ukuzulazula kwe-narcissistic kubhekisa kwimizamo eyenziwe ngumuntu obanga izinto ngokubuyisa impilo yakho - imvamisa ngemuva kwesikhathi ohlangothini lwakho. Ikakhulukazi uma lokhu kungukuziphatha okusha kuwe, umbhali wezinkanyezi angahle ame isikhashana ukuze abone ukuthi uzimisele ngempela yini ukudala lelo banga. Uma kuvela ukuthi unguye, bazovula i-hoover.

Ukudonsa ezinhlizweni zenhliziyo

Uma kukhulunywa ngokuncipha, ama-narcissists azosebenzisa ngokugcwele imizwa yakho. Bazokutshela ukuthi bakuthanda kangakanani futhi bakukhumbule kanjani, bunjani ubuhlobo obuhle ababenabo nawe, ukuthi ngeke baphile ngaphandle kwakho. Bangadlala isisulu esidinga ukuthi ugxume ungene ubophule. Ngamafuphi, bazokuxhaphaza ngokomzwelo ezingeni elijulile. Kungenzeka ukuthi ubukade uhileleke ebudlelwaneni obungalingani nomuntu obhala ngama-narcissist esikhathini esedlule futhi uzizwe ubuyiselwa emuva endimeni oyijwayele.

Usebenzisa izaba ezingahleliwe ukuthola ukuxhumana

UTonya ungitshele ukuthi, “Mina nodadewethu besineminyaka singakhulumisani, kulandela impi enkulu. Wabe, ngokungahleliwe, wangishayela ucingo ngo-7 ekuseni ekuseni engitshela ukuthi umzala ushonile. Ngenkathi ngangimdabukela, ngangingakaze ngimbone selokhu ngaba neminyaka eyi-10. Izinto ezibaluleke kakhulu ezenzekile eminyakeni edlule, kufaka phakathi umama wami ogcine esibhedlela egadwe udadewethu. Akazange afonele le micimbi. Ngizwe sengathi kuwukuziphatha okukhohlisa kakhulu ”. AbakwaNarcissists bangazisebenzisa ngokugcwele izimo ezingaba nomuzwa wokukuncela emuva.

Zikwenza uzizwe kabi

UMark ungitshele ukuthi ubaba wakhe uke wazama ukumkhohlisa ngokumtshela ukuthi udale inkinga engakanani nokuthi ukuphela kwendlela yokulungisa isimo ukubuyela emndenini. “Ubaba wangitshela ukuthi ngangimcasule kangakanani umama - nobaba futhi saxabana ngenxa yokuziphatha kwakhe kabi kumama. Ngangisolwa ngokuwohloka komndeni wonke okuwukuphela kwesixazululo esasiphakanyisiwe ukuthi ngiphinde ngithole ukuxhumana nobaba wami oyisichaka. Bengikubeke kwacaca ukuthi angisafuni ukuxhumana okunye nomndeni wami kanti-ke, bengilokhu, nginomuzwa wokuthi kufanele ngibuyele kuye ukuze ngilungise le nkinga ”.

Bayakukhanyisa

Ngenkathi ungazithola usuthole ukwamukelwa kwezipho, izincomo kanye nezimemezelo zothando olungapheli, ungahle utholakale ngokuziphatha okukhanyisayo. Umbulali angaxhumana nawe ngenhloso yokuqeda ukuzethemba kwakho futhi akwenze ungabaze uhlobo lwemicimbi yakho. Bazokhuluma amanga aluhlaza cwe, basonte amaqiniso, futhi bakwenze uqiniseke ukuthi ungumuntu owesabekayo onombono wakhe utshekile. Ungaze uzizwe ubonga ngokuthi bafuna ukuhlangana nawe.

Bayakuqinisekisa ukuthi bashintshile

“Owayeyintombi yami wangithumelela umyalezo omude ethi uzisebenzele yena nokuthi useshintshile. Wangincenga ukuba ngibuye futhi wathembisa ukuthi izinto zizohluka. Babengekho. Kungakapheli amasonto ambalwa bese eqala ukulingisa ngendlela efanayo endala ”, uDaniel wangitshela. AbakwaNarcissist banokuhlangana okuncane kakhulu uma kuziwa ekuqambeni amanga futhi bazokukholisa nganoma yini uma kuzozitholela abakufunayo.

Iphuzu lokuzulazula ukukubuyisa. Umbulali uzokwazi ukuthi ayini amaphuzu akho abuthakathaka nokuthi ngabe uyakuhlukumeza, ukukuncenga noma ukudlala isisulu kuyindlela ephumelela kunazo zonke yokukuncela. Ungazithola usesimweni sokuziphindaphinda kaningi. Futhi, kwabanye abantu, ngisho nakanye kwanele ukukudonsela endaweni yengozi, ngokwesibonelo, lapho kuthinteka khona udlame lwasekhaya. Uma udinga usizo ukuze uzihlukanise unomphela nomuntu obiza ngama-narcissist, sicela ufune ukwesekwa okudingayo.