Amasu we-5 Wokuyeka Ukuziphatha Okungasizi

-Delile

• Amaphuzu abalulekile
• Kungani Kunzima Kangaka Ukuyeka Ukwenza Okungakulungele
• Amasu we-5 Wokuyeka Ukuziphatha Okungasizi

Amaphuzu abalulekile

• Ukufunda okususelwa kumvuzo kwasiza abantu bokuqala ukuthi basinde. Kepha ezikhathini zanamuhla, izindlela ezifanayo zobuchopho zingasicupha emikhubeni engemihle.
• Ukwazi ukuthi unakho kokubili "umuntu ongacabanganga" futhi "ohlakaniphile" kungakusiza ukuthi ukhuthaze ukuzizwela ngenkathi wenza ukukhetha okunempilo.
• Ukwenza kabusha izindlela zokuziphatha okunempilo "njengemivuzo," ukwakha kwizitobhi ezinzima, nokwenza ukuzijwayeza ukucabanga kungasiza ekushintsheni imikhuba emibi ibe ngcono.

Ngabe kukhona lokhu kuzwakala kujwayelekile? Ushaye "dlala isiqephu esilandelayo" kuNetflix (okwesithathu kulandelana) noma ngabe uyazi ukuthi uhlala kuze kube sebusuku kakhulu futhi kufanele usebenze ngakusasa. Uhlola imithombo yakho yezokuxhumana bese uvule iwebhu “imizuzu embalwa nje” noma kukhona ezinye izinto owaziyo ukuthi kufanele uzinake. “Unamaswidi ambalwa nje” yize ugcwele impela. Uhlola ifoni yakho ngokuqhubekayo yize ukwenza kanjalo kukuthatha ekuzibandakanyeni ngokugcwele ezintweni ezibalulekile ongahle uzenze.

Kungani Kunzima Kangaka Ukuyeka Ukwenza Okungakulungele

Kungani kunzima kangaka ukumisa into ezwa ukuthi imnandi, noma ngabe uyazi ukuthi akuyona into ekulungele ekugcineni?

Ngomzimba womuntu, ukufunda okususelwa kumvuzo (ukufuna okujabulisayo nokugwema okubuhlungu) kwakuyisu eliwusizo lokuziphendukela kwezinhlobo zabantu. Ukuphishekela izinto ezizwakala kahle (njengokuya ocansini noma ukudla okumnandi) nokugwema ubuhlungu (isb., Ukulunywa yinyoka, noma ukugula ngesitshalo esinobuthi) kwasiza okhokho bethu ukuba baphile. Lokhu kuhlanganiswe kanzima kwi-biology yethu.

Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo saseStanford University uKelly McGonigal uchaza ukuthi ngokombono we-neuroscience, kuba sengathi sinezimbangi ezimbili ezincintisanayo ezilawulwa izingxenye ezahlukahlukene zobuchopho bethu. Sinomuntu ongacabangi ofuna ukwaneliseka ngokushesha, okulawulwa yi-midbrain (obhekene nempendulo yethu yokulwa noma yokundiza); futhi "sinobuhlakani obuhlakaniphile" obufuna okungcono kakhulu enhlalakahleni yethu yesikhathi eside futhi bungabamba umbono obanzi (olawulwa yi-medial prefrontal cortex). UDkt McGonigal uchaza ukuthi lapho sifuna ukushintsha indlela yokuziphatha (kulokhu simisa okuthile okungasizi ngalutho) kuba sengathi sinezingxenye ezimbili ezincintisanayo zobuchopho bethu ezingqubuzanayo.

Ngakho-ke singasebenza kanjani nalokhu? Singanqamula kanjani noma siyeke ukuzibandakanya ekuziphatheni okujabulisayo okwamanje, ekusebenzeni kwenhlalakahle yethu yesikhathi eside? Nazi iziphakamiso ezimbalwa:

Amasu we-5 Wokuyeka Ukuziphatha Okungasizi

1. Qaphela, fisa ukwazi.

Okokuqala, letha ukukhumbula kokuziphatha kwakho ukubona okwenzekayo kumzuzu ngamunye ovelayo, ukuze uphazamise ukusebenza okuzenzakalelayo. Bhangqa lokhu kwazi ngokufuna ukwazi okwenzekayo, ukuthi kwenzeka kanjani, kanye nemiphumela yalokhu kuziphatha. Umcwaningi nodokotela wezifo zengqondo uJudson Brewer, ocwaningweni lwakhe olunzulu lokuthi ungaziphazamisa kanjani izihibe zemikhuba, uthole ukuthi ukuqaphela okunengqondo kanye nesici esibalulekile selukuluku kuyizithako ezibalulekile ekuguqukeni kokuziphatha, kubandakanya nezidakamizwa ezinamandla.

Nasi isibonelo sokuthi lolu hlobo lokuqwashisa ngomqondo kanye nelukuluku lingahle libukeke kanjani: ama-imeyili wami nemithombo yezokuxhumana ngasikhathi sinye? Kuzwakala sengathi umuzwa okhathazayo uyangiqhuba, sengathi ngingahle ngiphuthelwe okuthile uma ngingenzi lokhu. Kunomvuzo oqinile okwamanje kodwa ngisendleleni eya kulesi sikhathi sokuqokwa, ngiyazi ukuthi kunengcindezi ephezulu, ukukhathazeka, nokukhungatheka ngoba ngiyazi ukuthi sengishiyile manje futhi sengiyimhlophe yonke indlela. Lokhu kuzizwa kungakhululekile emzimbeni wami, futhi ingcindezi evela kulokhu kukhetha ukuziphatha ihlala isikhathi eside ngemuva kokuba ngifike sekwedlule isikhathi lapho ngibekelwe khona. ”

2. Yiba nenhloso.Dala izitobhi ezinzima.

Uma usukhombe ukuthi yini engakusebenzeli, bona lapho ungadinga khona ukudala i- "hard stop" yokuyekisa ukuziphatha okungasizi ngalutho. Ukuma kanzima kuhilela ukuzibophezela ekudwebeni umugqa oqinile, kanye nokuzimisela ukubekezelela ukungakhululeki okusheshayo ekusebenzeni kwenhlalakahle yakho yesikhathi eside.

Ukwakha isitobhi esinzima, yiba nenhloso yokuthi kuzokwenzeka kanjani. Ungayishiyi inhlanhla ngokuba nje nesifiso esingacacile sokushintsha indlela oziphatha ngayo — yiba nohlelo olubambekayo ongalusebenzisa ngokungaguquguquki futhi ubeke noma yini ezokusiza futhi ikwenze kube lula ukukulandela.

Isibonelo, uma ufuna ukulala ngaphambi kuka-10: 30 futhi wazi ukuthi uzobanjwa ezinhlelweni ze-TV okunzima ukunqamula kuzo, nquma kahle ukuthi uzobuka ini nokuthi malini ngaphambi uhlale phansi uvule i-TV. Thola ukuthi kufanele ume nini ukuze uzinike isikhathi esanele sokuphumula futhi ulungele ukulala. Setha i-alamu ngesikhathi onquma ngaso ukuthi i-TV izocishwa.

Uma wazi ukuthi uvame ukudla okudla okungenampilo sekuhlwile impela, yenza iphuzu lokuxubha amazinyo ngokushesha ngemuva kokudla ukuze kungabi lula ukuthi uzofuna ukudla ngemuva kwalokho. Lungisa ukudla okulula okunempilo okutholakala kalula futhi okulula ukubanjwa uma ama-munchies asebusuku ekuhlula.

3. Flip it. Sebenza nohlelo lwakho lomvuzo.

Esikhundleni sokubona lokhu kuma kanzima njengokuthatha okuthile, kubone njengokungeza okuthile. Zikhumbuze ukuthi kungani wenza lokhu, gxila kumvuzo walesi sitobhi esinzima, bese ukhomba ukuthi yini ofuna ukuya kuyo (kunokugxila kulokho okufanele usuke kukho).

Isibonelo, esikhundleni sokugxila kokuthi “Kufanele ngicishe i-TV ngo-10: 00” gxila eqinisweni lokuthi “Ngilala kahle ebusuku, nginikeze umzimba wami konke okudingayo, futhi ngibe ngumuntu ongcono kakhulu kusasa . ” Ukwenza lokhu kusiza ukuzakhela umvuzo wemvelo ngokwakho.

Ngiyabonga ubuchopho bakho obudala ngokuzama ukukusiza uphile, kodwa zikhumbuze ukuthi unezingxenye zobuchopho bakho ezisanda kuvela ezingakusiza ngokwengeziwe.

4.Prakthiza. Qinisa umvuzo.

Bona ngeso lengqondo engqondweni yakho umphumela owufunayo, bese uthatha isikhashana ukuzwa imizwa emihle yalokhu emzimbeni wakho. Isibonelo, ungabona ngeso lengqondo ucisha i-TV ngaleso sikhathi osishoyo, unesiko lokuphumula lokulala lokuphumula, futhi ukulala kahle ebusuku uvuka uqabulekile futhi unamandla. Kubone ngeso lengqondo lokhu bese ucabanga ukuthi lokhu kuzozwakala kanjani, njengokungathi ungakuthola lokhu manje. Dala umuzwa ozwayo walo muzwa omuhle emzimbeni wakho futhi uhlale nalo muzwa umzuzu noma ngaphezulu. Khulisa umuzwa womvuzo ukusiza ukwedlula ukudonsa kokuziphatha kwakudala.

5. Phatha ubuchopho "obudala" njengengane encane, ngesandla esiqinile sokuzwela.

Ngenkathi ngiba nobunzima bokuzindla ngokungaguquguquki (ngokususwa yizo zonke ezinye izinto ebengidinga ukuzenza ngosuku), omunye wothisha bokuzindla engibathandayo wasikisela ukubamba “isandla esiqinile sokuzwela.” Njengoba ngibhale ngebhulogi edlule, ukuzizwela uma kuqhathaniswa nokuzigxeka kuyashukumisa kakhulu ekuguquleni isimilo. Kodwa-ke, kwesinye isikhathi kungasiza ukufaka izwi eliqinile (kepha lisakhathalele).

Cabanga ngalokhu njengomzali ocabanga ngothando inhlalakahle yengane lapho kubeka umngcele ocacile: “Ngiyazi ukuthi uyafuna ngempela ukudlala ngaphandle manje, kodwa sizohlala ngaphakathi ngoba kukhona umbani njengamanje futhi akusikho ngaphandle ngokuphepha. ” Lokhu kungasho ukuthi umzali udinga ukuzimisela ukubekezelela ukucasuka kwengane ekusebenzeleni lokho abakwaziyo ukuthi kungcono kakhulu enganeni. Nalokhu kungenziwa ngokuqinile kodwa ngothando. “Ngiyazi ukuthi uzizwa udumele kakhulu njengamanje ngoba ubukade ukulangazelela ukuphuma. Kulungile ukuthi uzizwa ngaleyo ndlela. Ngiyaqonda. Kodwa ake sithole okuthile endlini ongakwenza kunalokho. ”

Zama ukuba ngumzali oqinile kodwa onothando uma kuziwa ekusebenzeni nomuntu ongacabangi ofuna ukwaneliseka ngokushesha. Phatha le ngxenye yobuchopho bakho njengengane encane edinga ukuqondiswa ngendlela yokukhulisa.

Ngenkathi ukudonsa kobuchopho bokusinda nemikhuba yethu yokuzenzekelayo ingaba namandla impela, ikhono lethu lokufunda izinto ezintsha nokusebenzisa ukufunda okususelwa kumvuzo ukusizuzisa nakho kuyingxenye yefa lethu lokuziphendukela kwemvelo. Zama ukusebenzisa wonke lawa maqhinga ahlanganisiwe ukusiza ukubhala ngaphezulu kwamandla okwanelisa ngokushesha nokuqinisa imivuzo evela ngokulalela ubuhlakani bakho obazi kangcono kakhulu.