Konke Mayelana Narcissistic People

-Delile

• Ukufundwa Okubalulekile Kwe-Narcissism
• Ukulinganisa ukulawulwa ngokungekho emthethweni: Izinto Esizenzela Umuntu WamaNarcissist

Ekuthunyelwe kwami ​​kwangaphambilini kwezobudlwangudlwangu, ngethula uJosh Miller, Ph.D. — UProfesa Wezengqondo e-University of Georgia, kanye nochwepheshe we-narcissism — owasamukela ngomusa isicelo sami sokuxoxa naye. Ngimbuze imibuzo ehlukahlukene ngokuthandwa kwe-narcissism, i-grandiose narcissism kanye nokuhlobana kwayo ne-psychopathy, ubudlelwano phakathi kokuzethemba kanye ne-narcissism, nokuningi. Ekuthunyelwe kwanamuhla, ngethula ingxenye yesibili ye-Q & A yami.

Emamzadeh: Yini ilebula i-narcissism yezifo kusho ukuthini? Ngabe ibhekisa ohlotsheni lwe-narcissism oluhlangabezana nenqubo yokuphazamiseka kobuntu be-narcissistic (isb., Kuhlotshaniswa nokungasebenzi kahle nokukhubazeka)? Uma kunjalo, ngabe kukhona into efana ne-adaptive noma uphilileukucabanga ?

UMiller: Angazi ukuthembeka, njengoba kungelona igama engizisebenzisayo. Ngingacabanga ukuthi kuhloselwe ukukhombisa i-narcissism ehlotshaniswa kakhulu nokucindezeleka nokukhubazeka nokuthi ikhombisa ukwehla okukhulu ezinqubweni zokuzilawula ezihambisana ne-narcissism. ¹ Angiwuthandi umqondo wokuthi kunezinhlobo ezahlukahlukene zobudlova — i-pathological vs. adaptive noma enempilo — njengoba ngikholelwa ukuthi lokhu kwehlukaniswa kuphambanisa izingqinamba zezethulo ezahlukahlukene ngokuya ngobukhulu ngokuqhathaniswa nobudlova obusengozini kanye nezinkinga ezihlobene nobukhali. Umuntu angaphazanyiswa kakhulu noma ngaphansi kobukhulu be-narcissism noma inhlanganisela. I-narcissism enempilo, uma ikhona, mhlawumbe isho ukuthi eyodwa iphakanyiswe kancane kwi-grandiose narcissism kepha hhayi kakhulu ukuba nokukhubazeka ezizindeni ezibalulekile zokusebenza (isb., Ezothando; umsebenzi). Ngakolunye uhlangothi, i-narcissism esengozini ayisoze yaphutha ngokuthi "inempilo" ngoba iqukethe ukuthinteka okukhulu nokugcwele okwedlulele nokuzethemba okuphansi futhi ngenxa yalokho kufana kakhulu nenqubo yokucindezeleka okuyisici esibucayi sokuphazamiseka kwengqondo.

Emamzadeh: Kulungile, ngithanda ukushintsha izihloko kancane bese ngikubuza mayelana nenhloso ku-narcissism. Ofunda naye ekilasini wake wahlekisa: “Lapho umuntu ocindezelekile ethi,‘ Awunandaba nami, ’sicabanga ukuthi isifo esikhulumayo; lapho umbhali wezidakamizwa esho okufanayo, sicabanga ukuthi umyalezo uwumzamo obaliwe futhi ononya wokukhohlisa. ” Uyakholelwa ukuthi kunomehluko oyisisekelo, maqondana nokuzimisela kokuziphatha, phakathi kokuphazamiseka kobuntu be-narcissistic nezinye izimo zempilo yengqondo (kufaka phakathi okunye ukuphazamiseka kobuntu)?

UMiller: Lokhu kuqagela kepha engikuthathayo kungaba ukuthi asinabo ubufakazi obuhle bokuphakamisa ukuthi umuntu unenhloso encane noma ehlelwe kusengaphambili kunokunye ngaleyo ndlela yokuziphatha. Ngingasho ukuthi abantu abacindezelekile nabathandanayo bangenza izitatimende ezinjalo ngombono wangempela wokuthi omunye obalulekile akabakhathaleli futhi enze izitatimende ezinjalo ukuthola ukuphuma kulowo muntu ofanayo ukuze athole okuningi okudingekayo (isib. ukunakwa, ukusekelwa, njll.).

Emamzadeh: Kuyathakazelisa. Kuthiwani ngokuzazi ngokwakho ku-narcissism? Ngibonile ukuthi kwesinye isikhathi, njengalapho kukhuthazwa ukuncintisana komuntu noma isifiso samandla, noma ngesikhathi seziqubu zolaka, angaziphatha ngezindlela ezilimaza nalabo labo kubonakala sengathi ubazisa kakhulu. Ngokubona kwakho, kungakanani ukuqonda nokuqwashisa abantu abanamazinga aphezulu emitholampilo we-narcissism abanakho ekutheni ukuziphatha kwabo kubathinta kanjani abanye?

UMiller: I-lore yomtholampilo kudala ukuthi abantu abanezinkinga zobuntu abanakho ukuqonda okuningi kubo. Eminye yemisebenzi yethu kanye neminye ’ikubuze lokho, noma kunjalo, ngokukhombisa ukuthi imibiko yakho yokuziphendulela, i-psychopathy, nezinye izici zokugula zihlangana kahle nemibiko enolwazi. Eqinisweni, bahlangana nemibiko enolwazi ngezinga elifanayo umuntu alithola ngezici ezijwayelekile zobuntu ezinjenge-neuroticism, ukuvumelana, nokuphindisela. Futhi, lapho zingahlangani kahle ukungabi bikho kokuhlangana kungaveza ukungaboni ngaso linye kunokushoda kolwazi. Okusho ukuthi, uma uhlela imibuzo kulokho okubizwa ngefomethi ye-meta-perception esikhundleni (ukuzibika ngokwakho: Ngikholelwa ukuthi ngifanele ukwelashwa okukhethekile; umbono-meta: Abanye bacabanga ukuthi ngikholelwa ukuthi ngifanele ukwelashwa okukhethekile), uvame ukuthola isivumelwano esiphakeme nabasizi. Lesi sivumelwano esiphakeme singasho ukuthi abantu abayizidlamlilo bayazi ukuthi babonwa kanjani abanye kepha bangavele bangavumelani nokuhlolwa kwalowo muntu. Omunye umsebenzi uphakamisa ukuthi abantu abathanda ukungaziphathi kahle banemibono ehlukanisiwe kangako yokuthi baqonde ukuthi ukuzibona kwabo kuyinto enhle kakhulu kunemibono yabanye ngabo, ukuthi abanye bathambekele ekubacabangeni kancane ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, nokuthi banolwazi oluthile lokuthi izici eziphikisayo (isb. ubukhulu, ukungakhathali, ilungelo) zibangela ukukhubazeka okuthile.

Lokhu akukhona ukuthi kungaphikwa ukuthi abantu abathandana nobudlova babangela abanye ubuhlungu nokuhlupheka, kufaka phakathi labo abangase babazise futhi babathande (isb., Abalingani bezothando; abangane; amalungu omndeni), njengoba bevame ukwenza. Esikhundleni salokho, ngingahle ngiphikisane ngokuthi lokhu kuziphatha kungenzeka kungaveli ekusweleni kokuqonda ngokuphelele kepha kunalokho ukusebenza okusebenzayo nokuziphatha okungalandela ukusongelwa okubonakalayo kwe-ego, ukubaluleka kwesimo, isikhundla sabaphathi, nokubusa kubantu abathandanayo, kanye nokuncipha okujwayelekile okuncishisiwe ezinye ezenza lokhu kuziphatha kube lula.

Emamzadeh: Yebo, lokho ngokuqinisekile kusidweba isithombe esiyinkimbinkimbi ngokwengeziwe sama-narcissists. Vele, noma ngabe yisiphi isisusa, isimilo se-narcissistic asihambisani nobudlelwano obuhle. Ezincwadini zomtholampilo, i-narcissism ixhunyaniswe nokukhubazeka okukhulu (isb., Ebudlelwaneni bezothando nobomsebenzi). Ngisho ne-trait narcissism ihlotshaniswa "nendlela yokuzicabangela wena wedwa, ukuzicabangela wena wedwa nokuxhaphaza kubudlelwano phakathi kwabantu, kubandakanya ukudlala imidlalo, ukungathembeki, ukungabi nozwelo, ngisho nodlame" (ikhasi 171). ² Ngakho-ke yiziphi izinketho zakamuva zokwelapha zokwelapha i-narcissism? Ngabe i-narcissism ingelashwa ngempumelelo kusetshenziswa ukwelashwa kwengqondo?

UMiller: Ngeshwa, azikho izindlela zokwelapha ezisekelwa ngokomqondo ze-narcissism ngalesi sikhathi-ngakho-ke okulandelayo kungukucabangela emvelweni. Sekukonke, mancane kakhulu amathuba okuthi umuntu abone amacala amaningi “amsulwa” we-grandiose narcissism ezindaweni zomtholampilo, ngaphandle uma kunikwe igunya yinkantolo. Lokho kusho ukuthi abantu abathandana nabangathi bangabonakala kakhulu kuzilungiselelo zomtholampilo bazoba nezethulo ezisengozini kakhulu (isib. Njengoba kunikezwe ukuthi i-narcissism esengozini igqagqana kakhulu nokuphazamiseka kwemingcele yobuntu (BPD), kungenzeka ukuthi ezinye izindlela zokwelashwa ezisekelwa ngamandla ze-BPD zingasebenzela okwangaphambili (isb., Ukwelashwa kokuziphatha okwe-dialectical noma i-DBT; Ngokuvamile, ngicabanga ukuthi umuntu kufanele alindele ukuthi ukwenziwa ngcono okukhulu kuzodinga uhlobo oluthile lokwelashwa olunikezwe ukubaluleka nezinselelo zokwakha ubudlelwano neziguli ezithandwayo. ³ Kungumqondo wami ukuthi abantu abanezinkinga zohlobo oluthile lwangaphandle (isb., Bakhubazekile kepha hhayi ukuthi bakhathazekile) bangazuza ngokugxila kokulahlekile njengomphumela wesifo njengendlela yokukhuthaza ushintsho. Lokho wukuthi, anginasiqiniseko sokuthi kulula kanjani ukufundisa nokushintsha ikhono lokuqonda kodwa ngicabanga ukuthi iziguli zingabona, ngokwesibonelo, ukuthi izici zabo zobudlabha zibe nomthelela omubi esimweni nasekusebenzeni kwabo emsebenzini futhi bafunde namasu amasha okunciphisa izindlela zokuziphatha kubangele le miphumela emsebenzini, abayikhathalelayo (isb., ukungatholi ukukhushulwa). Encwadini yethu entsha ye-Antagonism ⁴ (Miller & Lynam, 2019), esikubona kuyisisekelo se-narcissism kanye ne-psychopathy, mina noDon Lynam saba nenhlanhla yokuthola izazi eziningana ukuthi zibhale ngokuthi umuntu angazenza kanjani izinguquko kuleso sizinda ngezindlela ezahlukahlukene, kufaka phakathi isimilo sokuziphatha, izingxoxo ezikhuthazayo , i-psychodynamic, ne-DBT.

Ukufundwa Okubalulekile Kwe-Narcissism

Ukulinganisa ukulawulwa ngokungekho emthethweni: Izinto Esizenzela Umuntu WamaNarcissist