Ukwelashwa Okugxilwe Kwamakhasimende

Kubhulogi edlule ngidingide ukuthi ukwelashwa okungekho kokuqondisa akusho ukuthi kunaluphi umkhombandlela kepha ukuthi ukuqondiswa kokwelapha kuvela kwiklayenti kunakwisazi. Kepha umqondo wokwelashwa okungaqondisi uyaqhubeka nokungaqondakali.

Imvamisa ukwelashwa okungaqondisi kucatshangwa njengobudlabha, okungahleliwe, nokwenziwa nje. Angivumelani, ikakhulukazi ngombono wokuthi kuyindlela yokwelashwa engenzi lutho, ngoba kimi kubhekiswa ekulandeleni ngenkuthalo ukuqondiswa kweklayenti, eduze, ngokucophelela nangokwakha.

Abelaphi abangaqondisi balwela ukuhamba ngokwejubane nakukuqondiswa kwamakhasimende, beletha abangakwenza endleleni ukuxhasa izidingo zeklayenti. Leyo yinqubo esebenzayo, hhayi kuphela yokulalelisisa, ngozwela, ngokubonisa, nangentshisekelo yangempela, kepha futhi nokuzinikela ngokweqiniso njengomelaphi nganoma iyiphi indlela ocabanga ukuthi iklayenti lingazuza ngayo. Lokhu kungafaka ukusetshenziswa kwezivivinyo ze-psychometric, izivivinyo zokuqonda, noma yini, kepha njalo ukwenza njalo ngendlela ehlonipha ilungelo leklayenti lokuzinqumela.

Lokhu kuyinkimbinkimbi kunokuzwakala ngoba ukuhlonipha ilungelo lomuntu lokuzinqumela kufanele ukwenze lokho ngenxa yakhe ngoba kuyinto efanele ukwenziwa, hhayi ngoba kufinyelela enye inhloso oyifunayo. Uma ngilihlonipha ilungelo lakho lokuzinqumela ngoba inhloso yami ukukwenza wenze okunye ngaphandle kwalokhu okwenzayo, khona-ke ngokwencazelo angilihloniphi ilungelo lakho lokuzinqumela. Kunalokho, ngizama ukukwenza ushintshe ngendlela engicabanga ukuthi kufanele ushintshe ngayo. Ngomqondo othile ngizenza wena nawe kuphela ukuthi ngiyalihlonipha ilungelo lakho lokuzibusa.

I-ajenda yomelaphi engaqondile ukuhlonipha ngokweqiniso ukuzimisela kweklayenti, ngokuqonda ukuthi kulapho abantu bezizwa njengabazinqumela bona bazokwenza izinqumo ezingcono kakhulu abangazenzela zona, futhi ngenxa yalokho iklayenti izohamba isiqonde ekusebenzeni ngokugcwele. Njengoba uBrodley (2005) abhala:

“Isimo sokunganqumi sijulile ngokwengqondo; akuyona inqubo. Ekuqaleni kokuthuthuka kukwelashwa kungahle kube phezulu futhi kuchazwe - 'Ungakwenzi lokhu' noma 'Ungakwenzi lokho'. Kepha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukuzihlola nokuhlangenwe nakho kokwelashwa, kuba yisici sohlamvu lomelaphi. Imele umuzwa wenhlonipho ejulile yamandla akhayo kubantu kanye nokuzwela okukhulu ekubeni sengozini kwabo ”. (ikhasi 3).

Kodwa-ke, ngikuqonda ngokuphelele ukuthi ukungahambi ngqo kungumqondo odidayo ngoba ngenkathi isitshela okungafanele sikwenze akusitsheli ukuthi senzeni. Indlela ewusizo yokubheka umqondo wokungaqondisi ukukubona njengohlangothi olulodwa kuphela lwemali. Olunye uhlangothi lwaleyo mali luyisiqondiso seklayenti. Umelaphi akaqondisi ngoba ulandela inkomba yeklayenti. Kungakho, njengoba ngishilo kwenye ibhulogi, uCarl Rogers waqala ukusebenzisa igama elithi ukwelashwa okugxile kumakhasimende njengoba bekuwuthatha kangcono umqondo wokuhamba nesiqondiso seklayenti. Njengoba uGrant abhala:

“Abelaphi abagxile kumakhasimende abenzi mqondo wokuthi abantu badingani nokuthi kufanele bakhululeke kanjani. Abazami ukukhuthaza ukuzamukela, ukuziqondisa, ukukhula okuhle, ukuzenzela ngokwakho, ukuhlangana phakathi kwangempela noma okubonwayo, umbono othile weqiniso, noma yini .... Ukwelashwa okugxile kubathengi umkhuba wokumane uhloniphe ilungelo lokuzikhethela kwabanye ”(Grant, 2004, p. 158).

Izinkomba

UBrodley, B. T. (2005). Amanani agxile kumakhasimende anciphisa ukusetshenziswa kokutholakele kocwaningo - udaba lokuxoxwa. Ku S. Joseph & R. Worsley (Eds.), I-psychopathology egxile kumuntu: I-psychology enhle yempilo yengqondo (amakhasi 310-316). URoss-on-Wye: Izincwadi ze-PCCS.

UGrant, B. (2004). Ukuphoqeleka kokulungiswa kokuziphatha ekwelashweni kwengqondo: Icala elikhethekile le-psychotherapy egxile kumakhasimende. Ama-Psychotherapies Aqondene Nomuntu Nolwazi, 3 , 152-165.

Ukuthola kabanzi ngoStephen Joseph :

http://www.profstephenjoseph.com/