Ingabe Ukuhlangana Okuvamile Kuholele Ebudlelwaneni Obunzima?

-Delile

• Amaphuzu abalulekile
• Indlela eya kwezothando
• Ingabe Ukuxhuma Kusho Ukuzijabulisa?
• Ukuhlanganyela Engxoxweni Kunokuhlangana Okuvamile

Amaphuzu abalulekile

• Abafundi abaningi basekolishi banethemba lokuthi ukuxhuma kuzoholela ebudlelwaneni noma okungenani oxhumana nabo ngokuzayo, imibukiso yocwaningo.
• Izibikezelo ezinhle kakhulu zokuxhumana okuzayo noma ubudlelwane ukujwayelana nomlingani nokuzwa imizwa emihle ngemuva kokuxhuma.
• Yize kunemibono eyeqisayo, intsha eningi ifuna ubudlelwano obuhle obuvela ezingxoxweni kunokuba kube ukusondelana okungajwayelekile.

Intsha esizeni sokuphola ivame ukwenziwa inkolelo yokuthi ifuna abalingani abangathandani nabo. Kepha ngabe lokhu kungumbono ofanele? Iqiniso ukuthi intsha eningi ayinandaba nokusondelana okungenanjongo, kepha ukuzibandakanya okunenjongo. Impela, ucwaningo lwembula ukuthi nanamuhla, phakathi kwesivumelwano sezinketho zokuphola online naku-off, intsha eningi ibheka ukuhlangana okungajwayelekile njengendlela yokuthola unomphela.

Indlela eya kwezothando

Abantu abadala bangakhumbula isiko elihlukile lokuphola. Akekho umuntu owayebheka usuku kusuka ngasese ekamelweni labo lokulala esebenzisa isikrini sekhompyutha, kepha ngandlela thile abodwa bakwazi ukuhlanganisa futhi bahlangane. Ngakho-ke, ngaphandle kwendlela, kuthiwani ngezisusa? Ingabe bezihlukile kunanamuhla?

UHeather Hensman Kettrey no-Aubrey D. Johnson bahlole le nkinga esiqeshini esinesihloko esithi "Hooking up and Pairing off" (2020). [I] Bathole ukuthi lokhu kuphambene nesimangalo esenziwe emithonjeni yezindaba ethandwayo yokuthi "isiko lokuxhuma ekolishi" selenze uthando lwaphelelwa yisikhathi , ucwaningo lwembula ukuthi abafundi abaningi basekolishi babheka "ama-hookups" njengendlela eya ebuhlotsheni-yize zimbalwa izixhumo ezikhiqiza lo mphumela.

Ingabe Ukuxhuma Kusho Ukuzijabulisa?

UKettrey noJohnson baphawula ukuthi igama elithi "ukuhlangana" alinangqondo futhi alicacisi, elisetshenziswa ngabantu abadala ukubhekisa ezinhlobonhlobo zokuhlangana okubandakanya amazinga ahlukene okusondelana. Ngokuphathelene "nozakwethu," bayabona ukuthi ukuxhuma kungenzeka phakathi kwamalangabi wangaphambili, abangane, noma abantu obajwayele. Kodwa-ke, bayaqaphela ukuthi ama-hookups maningi amathuba okubandakanya abantu esibajwayele kunabantu abangabazi.

UKettrey noJohnson bachaza ukuthi yize abanye abantu abasha behlangana ekuphishekeleni ubudlelwano obungokwenyama "bengenazo izintambo ezihlanganisiwe," abaningi banethemba lokuthi lokhu kubhangqwa okungajwayelekile kuzoholela ekuzibophezeleni noma okungenani ekuxhumaneni okuzayo. Eqinisweni, bayaqaphela ukuthi abafundi basekolishi abakholelwa ukuthi ama-hookups angaholela ebudlelwaneni akunakwenzeka ukuthi bahlangane kwasekuqaleni.

Kulezi zinto uKettrey noJohnson abazihlolisisa, kufaka phakathi ukubalwa kwabantu abalingani, okuguquguqukayo kwesimo, ukusebenzelana kwabantu, kanye nemizwa eyatholwa ngemuva kwalokho, bathole ukuthi ukusabela okwenziwa ngemuva kokuxhunyaniswa kwakuhlobene kakhulu nentshisekelo ekuxhumaneni kwesikhathi esizayo, kanye nentshisekelo ebudlelwaneni. Bayabona ukuthi okutholakele kwabo kuphakamisa ukujwayelana nomlingani kanye nokuzwa imizwa emihle ngemuva kwalokho kuyisibikezelo esihle sentshisekelo elandelayo.

Naphezu kokudlanga kwayo, noma kunjalo, isimilo sokuxhunyaniswa kaningi simbozwa yinhlamba. UKettrey noJohnson baphawula ukuthi bobabili abesilisa nabesifazane abasebasha bangahlulelwa noma bangahlonishwa ngokuziphatha kwabo kokuxhumana, noma ngabe kungokoqobo noma kuyabonwa. Bayabona ukuthi abesifazane bangahlulelwa ngokungafanele ngokuqondene nalokhu.

Ukuhlanganyela Engxoxweni Kunokuhlangana Okuvamile

Phezu kwezinkolelo zokuziphatha kwentsha yokuqomisana, iqiniso ukuthi iningi lentsha lifuna ubudlelwano obunempilo bothando nenhlonipho obuqhamuka ekuhlangabezaneni okubandakanya ingxoxo ezuzisayo, kunokuba kube ukusondelana okungajwayelekile. Uma kubhekwa izinga lentshisekelo ekuphishekeleni ubudlelwano obubucayi, kulandela ngokusobala ukuthi lokho kuhlola kungenzeka ngokusobala, futhi ezimweni eziningi kuyathandeka, ngaphandle kokubandakanyeka kwezocansi. Futhi ngokungafani neqiniso lokuthi ama-hookups amaningi afaka ukusetshenziswa kotshwala noma ezinye izidakwa, ezihambisana nokuziphatha okuyingozi futhi kwesinye isikhathi okuyingozi, ubudlelwano bekhwalithi buqala ngengxoxo evuselelayo kunezinto eziguqula ingqondo.

Ngokuphathelene nempilo engokomzwelo, uKettrey noJohnson bayaqaphela ukuthi yize abantu abasha bebika imizwa emihle ngemuva kokuxhunywa, abesifazane basemathubeni amaningi kunamadoda okuzwa ukusabela okungalungile ngokomzwelo njengokucindezeleka nokuzisola. Izinqumo ezingacabangisisi zokuthi (nokuthi kungakanani) ukuzibandakanya nabalingani bezenhlalo kuzovimbela ukwehluleka ekwahlulekeni okungenzeka ukuthi kwenziwe ngenkathi udakiwe, futhi ngokungangabazeki mancane amathuba okuba nemizwa yokungajabuli, ukuzisola noma ukudumala.

Ukwazi izithandani ezingaba khona ngokuziqhenya, izingxoxo ezibandakanyayo zihlala zingezinye zezindlela ezinhle kakhulu zokuphehla amakhemikhali, ukukhuthaza ukuhlangana kwabantu, nokubikezela ukuphumelela kobudlelwano.

Isithombe se-Facebook: UJacob Lund / Shutterstock