Ngabe Wake Ufise sengathi Ungathatha Okuthile Okushilo?

Isihloko sokuzisola ngezitatimende zomphakathi sibuyele emaphephandabeni ngomzamo kaFebhuwari 4, 2021 woMmeli wase-United States uMarjorie Taylor wokuthi akasakholelwa ezinkulumweni zakhe nasezinkulumweni zakhe ezazisungulwe ngozungu.

Egqoke ubucwebe obubhalwe amagama athi “Ukukhuluma Okukhululekile,” wema phambi komsamo eNdlu Yabamele futhi wazama ukubuyisa izimangalo zakhe zangaphambilini: “Ngavunyelwa ukukholelwa izinto ezingelona iqiniso futhi ngangibuza imibuzo ngazo futhi ngikhulume ngazo, futhi yilokho impela engizisola ngakho. ” UGreene wenze lezi zitatimende ukugwema ukususwa ezabelweni zekomidi lakhe, kepha imizamo yakhe ayizange iphumelele.

Yize uGreene engakaze axolise empeleni, inkulumo yakhe yokuthi "uyazisola" kungenzeka ukuthi isho ukuthi uzizwa ukuthi unephutha. Ukuhlaziya ukuphawula kwakhe phambili, futhi ubheka nomyalezo othile ophikisanayo odluliswa ngobuso bakhe, ungaqaphela ukuthi usebenzisa iphimbo elichazayo ekuchazeni ukuthi kungani enze lezo zitatimende (okusho ukuthi "ngavunyelwa ukukholelwa ..."). isimo, ingabe sikukhumbuza ngezikhathi owazama ngazo ukubuyisa into oyishilo eyadala uthuthuva empilweni yakho?

Yize izinkulumo zikaGreene zalungiswa ngaphambi kwesikhathi, kungenzeka ukuthi uma usho into ofisa sengathi ngabe awuyenzanga, yenziwe ngokushesha ngokushisa komzuzwana. Ngomzuzwana nje, kuphuma amagama emlonyeni wakho ongeke ukwazi ukuhlehlela kuwo.

Mhlawumbe umlingani wakho ulungiselele ukudla okudla isikhathi futhi akusebenzise kuwe ngokuziqhenya. Ilinde ngokulangazela impendulo yakho, umlingani wakho uwele phansi lapho uthi “Sthandwa, kuhle, kodwa inyama inzima kancane.” Ukuphuma uphume egumbini, umlingani wakho ufunga ukuthi ngeke aphinde asebenze kanzima ukuze ondle umuntu ongakufanele lokhu kunakwa. Ayikho inani lokulandela ngomkhondo emuva elibonakala linomthelela kumlingani wakho, futhi ngaphezu kokonakalisa isidlo, udale isigaxa okuzoba nzima ukusisusa.

Akujwayelekile ukuthi imibhangqwana ingene kulezi zinhlobo zezimo ezixakile zinikezwe okuhlangenwe nakho okuningi kwansuku zonke abelana ngakho. Kodwa-ke, ukweqa lezi zingxabano, ingabe ukuxhumana okungcono abakudingayo, noma okunye? Ngokusho kuka-Enrico Gnaulati (2020) waseSeattle University (2020), ebhala ngendlela entsha yokwelashwa kwabashadikazi, “Kunombono osafufusa wokuthi lokho imibhangqwana enezinkinga edinga usizo ngakho akuyona amakhono angcono okuxhumana ngalunye kepha ukwenziwa kothando nokucabangelana ”(Ikhasi 2). Umbhangqwana ojabulayo, uqhubeka ngokuqaphela, awunazinkinga. Kunye, kususelwa ocwaningweni lwangaphambilini, lapho abalingani "bengaphatha" lezo zingxabano ezingenakugwemeka.

Ngokombono wethiyori owaziwa ngokuthi yi-existentialism, lokho kuphatha kungenzeka kangcono kakhulu lapho imibhangqwana yamukela "okubonakala kungukuvinjelwa kwezinkinga ezifungelwe zezithandani [ezinjengokungafani kahle kwamazinga okushisa ekamelweni alithandayo, ... ukuthanda okwehlukile kwezokungcebeleka nokuzijabulisa (ikhasi 2). ” Ngale ndlela, ubungeke wenze sengathi awushongo okushilo ngesidlo noma okubi kakhulu, wenze sengathi akwenzekanga. Kunalokho, uzokwamukela umthwalo wemfanelo. Njengoba uGnaulati ephawula, “Kudinga ukuthobeka ukuvuma okungalungile ... amagama anemiphumela; nokuthi ukukholwa ukuthi kufanele sikwazi ukukhuluma ngaphandle kokujeziswa kuyinkohliso ethile yama-athomu ”(ikhasi 8). Ukuhumusha, lokhu kusho ukuthi awukwazi ukuzihlukanisa nomlingani wakho ngoba nobabili niyathonya futhi nithonywe omunye nomunye. Aningawo ama-athomu ahlukene angalokothi adonselane.

Njengoba uGnaulati eqhubeka nokubona, ngeke kusize ubudlelwano bakho ukuthi bubehlise amagama akho abuhlungu kepha wamukele iqhaza lakho ekwenzeni umlingani wakho angajabuli. Ekwelapheni, uyaphawula, empeleni wayezosebenzisa “ukweluleka kwecala lokwelashwa” (ikhasi 8). Ecaphuna udaba lombhangqwana owodwa ekwelashweni, ukuveza kukaGnaulati ngecala lomyeni okwagcina kumholele ekutheni akhiphe ukuxolisa okuqotho, okwadala ukuthi uxole unkosikazi. Ngandlela thile, unkosikazi wayezizwa engcono ngoba indoda yayiphatheka kabi kakhulu.

Ukuze lokho kuxolisa kusebenze, uGnaulati uveza, ngeke kube khona u- “kodwa” omakwe ukunciphisa ubuqotho bomxolisi. Ngokombono womamukeli, futhi, ukulungiswa kobudlelwano kuyaqhubeka lapho kungekho ukunwetshwa kwempikiswano ezindaweni ezingaphandle kwesimo esisheshayo njengokuletha "amaphutha wezinhlamvu" womlingani esilinganisweni.

Ukubuyela embuzweni wecala, lokho uGnaulati akubiza ngokuthi “icala lokulindela” kungakuvimbela ekwenzeni lawo mazwana angacabangi kwasekuqaleni. Lapho umlingani wakho ekuphakela lesi sidlo esihle, yima ucabange ngaphambi kokusho amagama akho abuhlungu. Akukhona ukuthi awuthembeki, kepha kunalokho ucabanga ngesimo ngokombono womlingani wakho.Icaphuna ababhali bangaphambilini, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo saseSeattle siphakamisa ukuthi asikho isidingo sokuthi uthokoze “ngokuphelele” ngaphambi kokuncoma. Yebo, inyama ingaba nzima, kepha mhlawumbe isoso limnandi. Qhubeka futhi ubeke amazwana kulokho.

Ukushayela yonke le mbono, ngokusho kukaGnaulait, wukubona ukuthi imibhangqwana enothando iyakwazi ukudlula kulezi zingqinamba ekuxhumaneni kwayo. Futhi, ukubuyela kumbono okhona, ukuqonda ukuthi impilo intekenteke nokuthi wonke umuntu uyafa kungaholela imibhangqwana ukuba "iphile izimpilo zayo ngamabomu nangezinhloso okwamanje" (ikhasi 12). Umsebenzi womelaphi, ngokwalokhu kubuka, ukusiza imibhangqwana ukuthi iqonde "ukubaluleka okuphambili kobudlelwano bothando."

Kusuka ephepheni leGnaulati, ungabona ukuthi yize ungeke uvimbe umlomo wakho ukukhuluma into ozisolayo ngayo, ungalemukela iqiniso lokuthi uyishilo. Ngaleso sikhathi, ukuxolisa okuqotho kungasiza ekunciphiseni umonakalo. Enkambisweni, ungaqhubeka nokusiza ukwelashwa ngokubonisa ukuthi uvulekile ukuzwa ukuthi umlingani wakho ukuthathe kanjani lokhu kuphawula.

Manje usungawabona ngokucace kakhudlwana amaphutha esitatimendeni sikaGreene esithi "ukuzisola." Ukusetshenziswa kwakhe kwezwi lokwenziwa kuphambene ngqo nohlobo lokuxolisa "ngokuthobeka" okunconyelwa indlela yeGnaulati. Kuyiqiniso ukuthi uGreene wayengakhulumi nganoma yini ngisho ukude njengobudlelwano bomuntu siqu obusondelene naye, kepha umgomo usasebenza. Uma bekwazi ukubeka amazwi akhe ezwini elisebenzayo, eshiya ingxenye “eholelwe ekukholweni”, kungenzeka ukuthi athathe iSinyathelo # 1 ukulungisa isithunzi sakhe esonakele nozakwabo.

Ngamafuphi , wonke umuntu usho izinto afisa sengathi ngabe ngabe azizishongo. Ukukwazi kwakho ukuba nalawo magama ofisa sengathi ungawabuyisela emuva kungavula indlela yokubuyisa futhi nokwenza ngcono ubudlelwano nabantu obakhathalele kakhulu.