Ingabe Uthembela Kakhulu Noma Kancane Kakhulu?

-Delile

• Ukuhlola ukwethembeka
• Ukuxhumana Okuthembekile
• Imingcele
• Ukuthembeka
• Ukubikezela
• Ukufunda Ukuthembela

Uma ngabe ukhashelwe noma ukwethenjwa kwakho kwephulwe, ucabanga ukuthi ukwethemba kwakho kubekwe kabi kumuntu ongathembekile? Abantu abaningi abanangqondo ngokuthembela. Bacabanga okubi kakhulu futhi ababethembi, noma bayethenjwa futhi bathathwa kalula. Abantu abasesigabeni sokuqala bafaka izindonga bese begcina abanye bekude. Iqembu lesibili ngokuziqhenya lithi lithembela kothile kuze kube linesizathu sokungamethembi. Bese bethuka lapho sebethembele kumuntu ongathembekile.

Ezweni lanamuhla elihambayo, imvamisa, lapho sihlangana okokuqala nomuntu, asazi lutho ngobuqotho bakhe noma ngokuziphatha kwangaphambilini, ngaphandle kwalokhu abasitshela khona. Ukwethembeka kufakazelwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ngezenzo, hhayi ngamazwi kuphela. Ungalimala ngokukholwa okushiwo abantu bese uzibe izenzo zabo Ukuze uthembeke, umuntu kufanele "ahambise inkulumo yakhe" - amagama nezenzo kufanele kuhambisane. Futhi kufanele ukwazi ukuthembela emibonweni yakho, ikhono elinzima kwabanye abathembela kumakhompiyutha abathembela okuncane kakhulu noma ngokweqile. Ukukwazi ukwethemba ngokweqiniso kuyinqubo yokufunda.

Lapho ukhulele emndenini ongasebenzi kahle lapho abazali bakho begcina izimfihlo noma benza imibono yakho yangasebenzi, wafunda ukuzingabaza. Ungahle ungathembi futhi / noma okuphambene, uphakamise kulokho okushiwo abanye futhi unqanyulwe ohlelweni lwakho lwangaphakathi lokuqondisa. Kunoma ikuphi, awukwazi ukuhlola ngokweqiniso abanye abantu.

Ukuhlola ukwethembeka

Okulandelayo izimfanelo okufanele uzibheke lapho wazi umuntu othile futhi uhlola ukwethembeka komuntu. Zinye futhi ziyafana nezinto ezidala ukwethembana nokuphepha ebudlelwaneni.

Ukuxhumana Okuthembekile

Ukukhulumisana okuvulelekile futhi okuthembekile kuyisisekelo segumbi lobudlelwano obuhle nokwakha ukwethembana. Le yinkinga ebudlelwaneni obuncikile, ngoba abalingani banenkinga yokwazi futhi baxoxa ngokukhululekile nangokuthembeka ngemizwa yabo. Ukuxhumana kaningi akuqondile, kuyasebenza, futhi kuyazivikela. Uma uvaliwe, kukhulisa ukungabaza nokungaqondani nomlingani wakho.

Ukuxhumana okuthembekile kudinga ukuthi uqiniseke ngalokho okufunayo nokudingayo nokuthi uveze obala imizwa yakho, kufaka phakathi lokho ongakuthandi lapho ulindele ukuthi umlingani wakho afunde ingqondo yakho futhi abe nethemba elingashiwongo, kuholela entukuthelweni nasengxabanweni futhi kuqeda ukwethembana. Ngokufanayo, lapho ufihla imizwa engemihle, ivela emaceleni ekuziphatheni, njengokufika ngemuva kwesikhathi, ukukhohlwa, ukungathembeki, noma ukuhoxa. Amagama nezenzo zakho azifani, okwakha ukungathembi.

Ngokusobala, ukuqamba amanga, ukwephula izithembiso, ukugcina izimfihlo, nokuphika izinto ozishilo ngokushesha kwakha ukungathembi. Akufanele ukulahlekelwa ukuthembeka kwakho ngisho nangamanga amancane noma imfihlo. Ngisho nokufiphaza iqiniso, kungalimaza kakhulu ukuthembela futhi kube nzima ukulungisa. Kungadala umlingani wakho angabaze ezinye, izinto ezinkulu othembeke ngazo.

Imingcele

Imingcele iyimingcele. Babalulekile ngoba bakha umuzwa wokuphepha. Ukuze wazi umuntu othile, kubalulekile ukuba nengxoxo ethembekile mayelana nemingcele nobumfihlo onethezekile ngakho. Ungahle ufise imingcele maqondana nezinto zakho, isikhala, ama-imeyili, nezingxoxo, okuthi, uma zephuliwe kungadala ukuthi ungamethembi umlingani wakho. Ungazizwa ukhashelwe uma ingxoxo yangasese nomlingani wakho iphindaphindwa kumngane wakhe, noma uma ekhuluma nomunye wabangani bakho noma izihlobo ngawe.

Eminyakeni edlule lapho ngangingummeli, ngezwa ukuthi imingcele yami yephuliwe lapho usuku lwaluthumela izimbali ehhovisi lami ngaphandle kwesizathu, okwathi yize kwakuyisenzo esihle, sangiphoxa emsebenzini. Bengifuna umngcele phakathi komsebenzi wami nempilo yangasese. Kwangenza ngangethembi ukwahlulela komuntu nokuqonda kwakhe. Imizwa yami ibibonakala futhi wakhombisa ukungabi nozwelo nemingcele kwezinye izindawo. Thembela emvelweni yakho. Uma utshela umuntu imingcele yakho bese eyishaya indiva, lokhu kudala ukwephulwa kwesibili — lokho kokungahloniphi. Kungadingeka uchaze izizathu zemingcele yakho nomuntu onomqondo ohluke ngokuphelele.

Umngcele obalulekile yilowo ozungeze umzimba wakho nobulili. Ukhululekile kangakanani ukuthinta ubusha bakho, nini futhi kuphi? Ngabe uzokhethwa ngokuphelele, uzikhethele ngokocansi, noma uzibophezele? Imingcele yomzimba neyezocansi ibalulekile ukuvumela nokuvikela ukusondelana ebudlelwaneni bakho. Umona nokungathembeki noma imbono yokungathembeki kungonakalisa ubuhlobo ngendlela engalungiseki. Wena nomlingani wakho ningaba nezindinganiso ezingafani mayelana nokuthi yini eyamukelekayo. Yiba nengxoxo engagunci ngalokho okudingayo ukuze uzizwe uphephile futhi unothando. Musa ukuhlala noma ucabangele ngakho — yiba ngokoqobo!

Ukuthembeka

Izinto ezilula, njengokukwenza lokho othi uzokwenza, ukubuyisa impahla ebolekiwe, ukufika ngesikhathi, nokugcina izinsuku, kwakha ukwethembana. Zonke lezi yizibonelo 'zokuhamba ngenkulumo.' Ukwephula izethembiso, ngisho nezincane, kudala ukudumazeka. Iphinde ithumele umyalezo wokuthi imizwa nezidingo zomunye umuntu azinandaba. Uma kwenzeka izikhathi ezanele, umlingani wakho ulahlekelwa ukwethemba futhi wakha intukuthelo eqeda ubuhlobo.

Ukubikezela

Njengoba uthola ukwazi othile, wakha umqondo engqondweni yakho ngokuthi ungubani nokuthi kukunikeza umuzwa othile wenduduzo nokuvikeleka. Uma eqala ukuziphatha ngendlela engalindelekile noma ngendlela engahambisani nalokho osekuyinsakavukela, kukhulisa ukungathembani nokungabaza ngempilo yengqondo yomuntu, ukwethembeka, noma ukusebenzisana kwezezimali. Uma uhlangabezana nezinguquko ezithile, njengokushintsha umsebenzi wakho noma ungazizwa ucansi, kungcono ukuthi ube nokuxhumana okuvulekile nokwethembeka ngakho ngaphambi kokuba kuphakame imibuzo.

Ukufunda Ukuthembela

Ukufunda ukuthembela akukuningi ngomunye umuntu kepha kufunda ukwethemba imibono yakho nokunaka ukungabaza kwakho kanye nokuqonda kwakho. Uma ukunye nomuntu, hambisa ukunaka kwakho ngaphakathi ukuze ubone ukuthi uzizwa kanjani lapho ekhona. Intukuthelo, amahloni, ukuzizwa unecala, nokulimala yimizwa engaba uphawu lokuthi imingcele yakho yeqiwe ukuhlukunyezwa ngamazwi noma ngokukhohlisa. Chitha isikhathi sakho futhi uqaphele umehluko phakathi nokude nomunye umuntu.

© Darlene Lancer 2012.