Ikhaya Lamaholide?

Ngikhumbula ngisemncane ngizwa iseluleko sokugwema ukuxoxa ngenkolo nezepolitiki etafuleni lokudla kwakusihlwa. Ekuqaleni angiqondanga ukuthi kungani. Ekugcineni ngafunda ukuthi lezi zihloko zingasheshe ziholele emizweni elimele, kuphakamise amazwi, futhi ngokungagwegwesi, ukuzincisha.Ukusiwa bekuzokwenza okusemandleni akho ukugwema ukungqubuzana esidlweni sangeSonto nasemihlanganweni yamaholide. Gwema okungahambi kahle. Gcina ukuthula ngokuhlala ucacile ezihlokweni ezingadala ukungavumelani.

Ngenkathi akekho kithi ofuna idrama ngesikhathi sedina, silahlekelwa okuthile ngokugwema izihloko ezibalulekile. Ngokugcina ukukhuluma kukha phezulu nalabo esidla nabo kanye nalabo esibathandayo, siphuthelwa amathuba okwazana ngempela futhi sifunde kulabo esinemibono engafani nabo.

Ngamaholide lapha, iningi lethu lizohlangana futhi namalungu omndeni esingawaboni noma esichitha isikhathi esiningi nawo. Unganquma ukunamathela ezihlokweni zenkulumo ezikahle: ukuthenga, imibukiso eyintandokazi yeNetflix, noma nomsebenzi wakho, kuphela ezingeni elingaphezulu kokunye.

Kodwa-ke, uma uzizwa unolwazi oluthe xaxa, kule sizini samaholide ngifuna ukukuphonsela inselelo yokuthi umbe ujule. Siphakathi kwenqubo yokuthikameza, futhi ungaba nemibono ngalokhu. Mhlawumbe unemibono mayelana nezinqumo zakamuva zeNkantolo Ephakeme yase-U.S., Ukhetho lweDemocratic for President of U.S., noma izingqinamba ezenzeka eSontweni LamaKatolika? Uma esisodwa salezi zihloko siqhamuka embuthanweni wenu womndeni, ngifuna nizilungiselele. Esikhundleni sokubheka kolunye uhlangothi noma wenze sengathi awuzwanga okwenzekile, ngikumema ukuthi uhlanganyele. Ngifuna ukukunikeza amathuluzi azokusiza ukuthi ukhulume kodwa futhi ulalele. Angikukhuthazi ukufana kwemibono, kodwa kunalokho ngithemba ukuthi uzozibandakanya nesibindi, ubuqiniso nokuzithoba.

Kepha ungabuza kanjani. Ikhuthazwe yincwadi engiyibhalile ngokubambisana, Isikhathi Sokukhuluma (Futhi Ulalele): Ungazibandakanya Kanjani Ezingxoxweni Zamasiko Mayelana Nobuhlanga, Isigaba, Ubulili, Amandla, Nobulili Emhlabeni Ohlukanisiwe , nazi izeluleko zokukusiza ukuthi ulungele ukuqala nokwamukela izingxoxo ezinzima etafuleni lesidlo.

• Thola ukuthi iyini inhloso yakho. Ufuna ukwenzakalani ngokuhlanganyela engxoxweni? Izibonelo zemigomo yilezi: “Ngifuna ukuzimela”; “Ngifuna ukumela iqembu elincishwe amathuba”; "Ngifuna ukwabelana ngombono ohlukile, ukusiza ukufaka isandla engxoxweni". Gwema izinhloso ezimayelana nokushintsha imiqondo yabantu noma ukuthulisa abanye. Akuyona ingxoxo leyo, imvamisa inkulumo eyodwa.
• Lungiselela izithiyo ezingangena endleleni yakho. Yini engaphazamisa ukufeza le nhloso? Thatha uhlu lwezithiyo zangaphakathi. Uyesaba ukucasula ugogo wakho? Ngabe ukhathazekile ngokuthi izingane ezisetafuleni kungenzeka zilalele futhi zithinteke kabi ngenxa yokushintshana? Ngabe ukhathazekile ukuthi intukuthelo yakho ingahle ikuthathe futhi ithathe izintambo? Thola imigoqo yangaphandle engangena nayo. Asikho isikhathi esanele? Umlando wegazi elibi naleli lungu lomndeni elithile? Ngokwazi ukuthi yiziphi izithiyo ezingavimbela ukuxoxisana kwangempela, wandisa amathuba akho okusebenza ngempumelelo kuzo noma wokuhlela okuzungezile.

• Zithobe ngaphambi kokuba uhlale phansi ukhulume nabanye. Thatha umoya ojulile. Qala endaweni enokuthula nokucaca ngaphambi kokushintshana ngamagama. Zibophele endaweni ezolile ngokucabanga ukuthi uhogela inani lakho elingumongo. Yini inani eliyisisekelo, ubuza. Amanani ayisisekelo akumaphakathi futhi uyikhampasi yakho ekahle lapho wenza izinqumo empilweni yakho. Izibonelo zamanani ayisisekelo ukwethembeka, isibindi, ukholo, ithemba, ukubekezela, amandla, ubuqiniso nothando. Ngingaqhubeka, kepha uthola umbono. Ungazigxila othandweni lomndeni wakho; uyabathanda ngakho-ke kufanelekile ukubeka engcupheni ukuba nale ngxoxo. Ungancika ekukholweni ukuhola ingxoxo yakho; awunaso isiqiniseko sokuthi kuzokwenzekani, kodwa unokholo lokuthi kuzolunga. Elinye inani eliyintandokazi isibindi. Thembela kwesibindi ukuze udlule kule ngxoxo eyinselele. Ngemuva kwakho konke, kungenzeka ukuthi kube khona idizethi emnandi ekulindile ngemuva kokuqeda inkulumo nokudla!
• Setha isiteji ngesivuli. Yazisa umlaleli ukuthi “woza ngokuthula.” Izibonelo zabavulekileyo yilezi, “Ngiyakukhathalela ngempela, ngakho-ke ngifuna ukukhuluma nawe ngokuthile okusho lukhulu kimi,” noma “Ngiyanqikaza kancane ukukuveza lokhu, kodwa ngicabanga ukuthi kubalulekile, futhi ngakho-ke ngizozama, ”noma“ Ngingathanda ukubhekana nokuthile okungaba yisihloko esishisayo. Nginesiqiniseko sokuthi sizokwazi ukubhekana nokukhuluma ngalokhu ndawonye. ”
• Khumbula ukulalela. Lapho usuthumele umlayezo wakho futhi wabelana ngemicabango yakho, manje sekuyisikhathi sakho sokuba yizindlebe zonke. Njengoba uDkt. Miguel Gallardo esho kwinhlolokhono yakamuva ye-Cultural Humility podcast, "Sanikezwa izindlebe ezimbili nomlomo owodwa ngesizathu." Ungazivikeleli. Ungavali. Musa ukugxila ekuhleleni ozokusho ngokulandelayo. Lalela ngempela. Vula inhliziyo yakho emibonweni yomunye umuntu, noma ngabe awuvumelani.
• Bonga umuntu ngendlela eyiqiniso ngokukuzwa, uchitha isikhathi nawe, noma uze uvume ukungavumelani. Akudingeki uthande okushiwo omunye umuntu, kepha usengabonga ngokuba khona kwabo nokuzimisela ukukuhlangabeza engxoxweni.

Ngalezi zeluleko ezandleni, ngifisa sengathi ngabe amaholide agcwele izingxoxo ezisuka enhliziyweni.