Ungayithuthukisa Kanjani I-Charisma Quotient Yakho Yomuntu

Iningi labantu licabanga ukuthi i-charisma yimfanelo engaqondakali abantu abazalwa benayo. Eqinisweni, igama elithi "charisma" lihumusha ngokukhululekile ukuthi "isipho saphezulu somusa." Kodwa-ke, kube nekhulu leminyaka lokucwaninga nge-charisma, futhi cishe ikhulu leminyaka ukugxila ngqo kulokho okwenza umuntu akhange. Njengomphumela walo msebenzi, sinokuqonda okungcono kakhulu kwalokhu kwakha okuyindida nokungaqondakali. Singayikala futhi, futhi kunezindlela zokusiza ekuthuthukiseni "uthando lomuntu" lomuntu ngamunye.

I-charisma yomuntu siqu yakhiwa yinkanyezi yamakhono angokomzwelo nezenhlalo. Enye indlela yokucabanga ngalokhu ukusebenzisa amagama athandwayo, "ukuhlakanipha ngokomzwelo" nokuthi "ukuhlakanipha komphakathi." Amakhono okuxhumana ngokomzwelo afaka ukuveza imizwa okuzenzekelayo, amandla okwenza imizwa ngokukhomba, ikhono lokufunda izinkomba zabanye ezingokomzwelo nezingaqondile, kanye nekhono lokulawula nokulawula imizwa. Lezi yizinto eziyinhloko zokuhlakanipha ngokomzwelo.

Amakhono ekuxhumaneni nomphakathi afaka ikhono lokukhuluma ngomlomo, ikhono lokubandakanya abanye ekuxhumaneni nomphakathi, ulwazi lwezindima zomphakathi kanye nemikhuba / imithetho, ukuqwashisa ukuthi ukuziphatha komuntu kuthinta kanjani abanye, ikhono lokudlala indima yomphakathi, nekhono ekuphatheni okuvelayo . Lezi yizinto ezibucayi zobuhlakani bezenhlalo. Ake sibheke ngqo ezintweni eziyisithupha zethonya lomuntu siqu, bese sizogxila ekutheni ungayithuthukisa kanjani i-charisma yakho.

Izici ezi-6 ze-Charisma yomuntu.

1. Ukuvezwa ngokomzwelo. Leli likhono lokuveza imizwa kwabanye. Kuhlotshaniswa nokuba nomdlandla namandla (ngokomzwelo), futhi, njengoba kusho isisho, umuntu oveza imizwa "uthwala inhliziyo yakhe emkhonweni wakhe." Kulula kulo muntu ukwenza imizwa futhi enze imizwa yaziwe kwabanye. Lapho sicabanga ngomuntu onekhono “okhanyisa igumbi,” sisuke sibhekise ekuvezeni imizwa yabo.

2. Ukuzwela Ngokomzwelo , uhlangothi lwe-flip, kuyikhono lokufunda izinkomba ezingokomzwelo ezicashile zabanye. Kuhlobene nozwela (“Ngiyabuzwa ubuhlungu bakho”), kanye nokuthathwa njengokuzwela nokunakekela. Kokubili ukuvezwa ngokomzwelo nokuzwela ngokomzwelo kuyizinto ezisemqoka zobuhlakani obungokomzwelo. Le yingxenye yomdlandla evumela abantu ukuthi baxhumane nabanye ezingeni elijulile lomzwelo.

3. Ukulawulwa Ngokomzwelo. Ukulawulwa ngokomzwelo yikhono lokulawula nokulawula izinkulumo ezingokomzwelo. Kubandakanya ukukwazi "ukufihla" izimo ezizwakala ngokomzwelo (ukugcina "ubuso be-poker") nokusebenzisa inkulumo ehlukile yemizwa njengesifihla-buso. Abantu abanekhono lokukhanga banekhono lokulawula imizwa yabo futhi bahlala bevela, "bezolile, bepholile futhi beqoqekile."

Ngakho-ke, lawa ngamakhono ayisisekelo ahlotshaniswa nokuxhumana okungokomzwelo. Izingxenye ezintathu zamakhono ezisele zothando lomuntu zibandakanya ikhono ekukhulumisaneni ngomlomo nangokomphakathi, futhi ziyinkimbinkimbi ngokwengeziwe.

4. Ukuchazeka Komphakathi. Lokhu kokubili kuyikhono lokukhuluma ngamazwi, kanye nokukwazi ukubandakanya abanye ekuxhumaneni nomphakathi nasezingxoxweni. Kuhlobene nokwenza ngokweqile futhi uphume. Kuyingxenye yothando lomuntu siqu evumela umuntu onomusa ukuba bobabili abe yisikhulumi esidlangalaleni esihle, kepha futhi nokuthi "asebenze igumbi" futhi ahlanganyele nomuntu ngamunye ezingeni elifanele.

5. Ukuzwela Komphakathi kuyikhono lomphakathi eliyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu. Kubandakanya ikhono lokulalela, ikakhulukazi ikhono lokuthola ubuqili bezingxoxo nokuxhumana nabantu. Futhi ulwazi lwemithetho yezenhlalo, noma izinkambiso. Abantu abane-charisma yabo balungile futhi banobuhlakani. Bayakwazi kalula ukuhlaziya abantu nezimo zenhlalo.

6. Ukulawulwa Komphakathi liyikhono eliyindida lokulingisa indima yomphakathi. Abantu abanamazinga aphezulu okulawulwa komphakathi bayakwazi ukuzizwa bekhululekile cishe nganoma yisiphi isimo senhlalo, futhi bangaba yingxenye yeqembu kalula. Kuthathiwe ndawonye, ​​ukuvezwa komphakathi kanye nokulawulwa kwezenhlalo kuhlobene, nokubikezela izinhlobo zabantu ababhekwe njengabaholi beqembu noma abakhulumeli.

Ngenkathi ukuba nobukhulu obuningi kukwenza ube ngumuntu onekhono ngokwengeziwe ngokomzwelo nangokwenhlalo (futhi kuthuthukise amandla akho we-charisma), kubalulekile futhi ukuthi ubukhulu bamakhono ahlukene balingane. Ngamanye amagama, ukuphakama kakhulu ebangeni elilodwa, futhi ukwehla kakhulu kokunye kungaba yinkinga. Isibonelo, cabanga ngomuntu okhululekile kakhulu ngokomzwelo, kepha engenakho ukulawula ngokomzwelo. Lo muntu uzoba nenkinga "ukuyicisha" futhi anciphise ukubonakaliswa kwemizwa lapho kungafanele. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukulawula ngokweqile ngokomzwelo, ngaphandle kokuveza imizwa, kuholela kumuntu obonakala ebanda ngokomzwelo futhi ekude. Konke kumayelana nenani lekhono nokulinganisela phakathi kwabo.

Ngakho-ke, ungazithuthukisa futhi uqinise kanjani lezi zingxenye ezahlukahlukene zamakhono ezenhlalo zothando lomuntu siqu? Yebo, kuthatha ukuzikhandla okukhulu nokuzinikela, kepha kungenzeka ukwandisa amandla akho we-charisma.

Ungayithuthukisa kanjani i-Charisma yomuntu siqu

A. Yiba Isikhulumi Somzwelo Esiphumelelayo. Lokhu kufaka ukusebenza ekuthumeleni, ekwamukeleni / ekutolikeni, nasekulawuleni ukubonakaliswa komoya. Imvamisa, abantu abangachazeki bamane nje baphuma ngaphandle kwemizwa yabo. Ukuzindla ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho ngokomzwelo, nokunaka indlela oxhumana ngayo nemizwa yakho kungasiza. Prakthiza izinkulumo esibukweni, bese uthola impendulo kwabanye.

Ukuze uthuthukise ukuzwela kwakho ngokomzwelo, yiba umlindi wabantu, futhi ufunde ukuthi abanye bayidlulisa kanjani imizwa. Bukela i-TV ngomsindo uvaliwe bese uzama ukuthola ukuthi kwenzakalani ngokumane ugxile kuzimpawu ezingasho lutho.

B. Yazi ngokwengeziwe emphakathini futhi ukhuthazwe. Ingxenye enkulu yamakhono omphakathi / ukuhlakanipha kumane nje kukhuthazwa ukuba ufunde kabanzi ngezimo zenhlalo, nokutadisha abantu. Sebenzela ekulaleleni okusebenzayo — ugxile kulokho okushiwo omunye umuntu futhi ubuyisele emuva lokho okuzwile, kunokugxila kulokho ofuna ukukusho. Bandakanya okuningi emaqenjini omphakathi. Iya emibuthanweni yokuzijabulisa futhi usebenze ngamakhono akho omphakathi.

C. Charisma kanye neThe Essence of Savoir-Faire. Ucwaningo lwethu lukhombisile ukuthi ingxenye enkulu yokuthi yini eyenza abantu bakholwe ukuthi banesimo emphakathini nokuba khona kwabo, lokhu esikubiza nge- “savoir-faire” Bayazi ukuthi kufanele baziphathe kanjani ezimweni zenhlalo (leli ikhono lokulawula umphakathi), banakekela abanye, futhi benza umzamo wokuxhumana nabantu futhi babe nokuxhumana okunengqondo (leli ikhono leSocial Expressionness). Bayakuqaphela abakushoyo nabakwenzayo, futhi bayakugwema ukuthukuthela, ukucasuka noma ukuphikisana.

D. Ukuhlanganisa Konke. Kunezinkolelo eziningi mayelana ne-charisma. Okunye ukuthi abantu abanekhono lokukhohlakala “bangamampunge” futhi abazenzisi. Kepha ucwaningo lwethu luphakamisa ukuthi ukusebenza ku-charisma yakho uqobo kukuvumela ukuthi uxhumane nabanye ngezindlela ezizwakalayo. Izingxoxo zizuzisa kakhulu wena nabanye. Njengoba omunye wabahlanganyeli bethu ohlelweni "lokuqeqeshwa kothando" esitshele, "intombi yami ibone intuthuko. Uthi ngikwazi kangcono ukuveza imizwa yami, futhi lokho kuye kwasenza sasondelana. ”

Enye inganekwane ukuthi abantu abanesibindi ngabantu abanjengoSvengali abazama ukukhohlisa abanye. Ngenkathi abanye abantu bengase basebenzise amakhono abo kwezenhlalo nangokubambisana ukuze basebenzise abanye (isb., Abaculi), bayingcosana. Iningi lethu lifuna ukuthuthukisa amakhono ethu kwezenhlalo — amandla ethu okusizakala — ukuze sibe nobudlelwano obunenjongo nobuzuzisayo nabanye.

URiggio, RE, noCarney, DC (2003). Ibhukwana le-Social Skills Inventory (2nd ed.). IRedwood City: iMindGarden.

URiggio, RE, Eaton, LG, & Funder, D.C (2020). Amakhono ezimweni zenhlalo: Ingqikithi ye-savoir-faire. Ku-A.Kostic & R.J. I-Sternberg (Eds.), Ukuhlakanipha Komphakathi kanye nokuxhumana okungenamlomo. (pps. 333-357). I-Cham, eSwitzerland: IPalgrave Macmillan