Indlela Umshado Obushintsha Ngayo Ubuntu Bakho

-Delile

• Ubuntu Obufundwayo Obubalulekile
• Izinto Ezintathu Ubuso Bakho Ezitshela Umhlaba

Ngokuvamile kuthiwa imibhangqwana eshadile ikhula ngokufanayo phakathi neminyaka. Kodwa ingabe umshado ungabuguqula ngempela ubuntu bakho? Ucwaningo olusha olwenziwe yisazi sokusebenza kwengqondo se-University of Georgia u-Justin Lavner nozakwabo lubonisa ukuthi ubuntu babantu buyashintsha, ngezindlela ezibikezelayo, onyakeni wokuqala nohhafu ngemuva kokubopha ifindo.

Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zihlukaniswe ngombuzo wokuthi ngabe ubuntu bunqunywa yini izakhi zakho zofuzo noma benziwe okuhlangenwe nakho kwasekuqaleni kobuntwana, abaningi bakholelwa ukuthi mhlawumbe kuyinhlanganisela yemvelo nokunakekelwa. Lapho usumdala, noma kunjalo, ubuntu buvame ukusungulwa futhi abuguquki kakhulu ngemuva kwalokho. Noma kunjalo, olunye ucwaningo lukhombisile ukuthi imicimbi emikhulu yempilo ingadonsela ubuntu ezinhlakeni ezithile: Isibonelo, isingeniso esinamandla nesifiso sokufundisa singafunda ukukhuliswa kakhulu ekilasini.

Umshado, yebo, ungesinye sezenzakalo ezibaluleke kakhulu empilweni yomuntu. Njengoba imibhangqwana eshadile kufanele ithole izindlela zokuhlalisana nsuku zonke, mhlawumbe akumangazi ukuthi bangathola ushintsho ebuntwini babo njengoba bejwayela impilo yobudlelwano. Lona umbono wokuthi uLavner nozakwabo bahlola.

Kulolu cwaningo, kwaqashwa imibhangqwana engu-169 eyabesilisa nabesilisa abesilisa nabesifazane ukuba baphendule imibuzo ngamaphuzu amathathu emshadweni wabo — ezinyangeni eziyisithupha, ezi-12 nezingu-18. Ngale ndlela, abacwaningi bangathola ukuthambekela kokushintsha kobuntu. Esikhathini ngasinye, imibhangqwana (esebenza ngawodwana) iphendule imibuzo emibili, eyodwa ihlola ukwaneliseka emshadweni kanye nobunye bokulinganisa.

Umbono owamukelwa kabanzi wobuntu waziwa ngokuthi yiBig Five. Le mbono iphakamisa ukuthi kunezilinganiso ezinhlanu eziyisisekelo zobuntu. IBig Five ivame ukukhunjulwa ngegama elithi OCEAN:

1. Ukuvuleleka. Uvulelekile kangakanani kokuhlangenwe nakho okusha. Uma uvulekele phezulu, uthanda ukuzama izinto ezintsha. Uma uphansi ekuvulekeni, ukhululeke ngokwengeziwe ngokujwayelekile.

2. Unembeza. Uthembeke futhi uhleleke kangakanani. Uma unonembeza ophakeme, uthanda ukugcina isikhathi futhi ugcine izindawo zakho zokuphila nezokusebenza zicocekile. Uma unonembeza ophansi, awubambeki ngezinsuku zokugcina, futhi unethezekile endaweni yakho eminyene.

3. Ukweqisa. Uphuma kangakanani. Uma uphakeme kakhulu, uthanda ukuzihlanganisa nabanye abantu abaningi. Uma uphansi ekuphambukeni (okungukuthi, ungenise), uthanda ukuba nesikhathi sakho.

4. Ukuvumelana. Uzwana kanjani nabanye. Uma uphakeme ngokwamukelekayo, ukhululekile futhi uyajabula ukwenza okwenziwa ngumuntu wonke umuntu. Uma ungavumelani kahle, kufanele ube nezinto ngendlela yakho, noma ngabe thina sonke sifuna ini.

5. I-Neuroticism. Uzinze kangakanani emoyeni. Uma uphakeme ku-neuroticism, uhlangabezana nokushintshashintsha kwemizwelo futhi kungaba nolaka impela. Uma uphansi kwe-neuroticism, imizwa yakho izinzile, futhi uhlala impilo yakho ku-keel.

Lapho abacwaningi behlaziya imininingwane ngemuva kwezinyanga eziyi-18 beshadile, bathola lezi zindlela ezilandelayo zokushintsha kobuntu phakathi kwamadoda nabafazi:

• Ukuvuleleka. Amakhosikazi akhombisile ukwehla ekuvulekeni. Mhlawumbe lolu shintsho lukhombisa ukwamukela kwabo izinkambiso zomshado.
• Unembeza. Amadoda anda kakhulu kunembeza, kanti amakhosikazi ahlala efanayo. Abaphenyi baqaphele ukuthi abesifazane bavame ukuba phezulu kunembeza wabo kunabesilisa, kanti lokhu bekunjalo ngabayeni nabafazi kulolu cwaningo. Ukwanda kukanembeza wamadoda mhlawumbe kukhombisa ukufunda kwabo ukubaluleka kokwethembeka nokuthembela emshadweni.
• Ukweqisa. Amadoda angeniswa ngokwengeziwe (aphansi ekushintsheni) onyakeni wokuqala nohhafu womshado. Olunye ucwaningo lukhombisile ukuthi imibhangqwana eshadile ijwayele ukukhawulela ukuxhumana kwabo nabantu uma kuqhathaniswa nangesikhathi bengakashadi. Lokhu kushintshela kokungena ngaphakathi mhlawumbe kukhombisa lowo mkhuba.
• Ukuvumelana. Bobabili abesilisa namakhosikazi baqale ukungamukeleki kahle esifundweni, kepha lokhu kwehla kuyabonakala kakhulu kubafazi. Ngokuvamile, abesifazane bavame ukuvumelana kakhulu kunabesilisa. Le datha iphakamisa ukuthi laba bafazi babefunda ukuziqinisa ngokwengeziwe phakathi neminyaka yokuqala yomshado.
• I-Neuroticism. Amadoda akhombise ukukhuphuka okuncane (kepha hhayi okuphawulekayo ngokwezibalo) kokuzinza ngokomzwelo. Amakhosikazi akhombisa okukhulu kakhulu. Ngokuvamile, abesifazane bavame ukubika amazinga aphezulu we-neuroticism (noma ukungazinzi ngokomzwelo) kunamadoda. Kulula ukuqagela ukuthi ukuzibophezela komshado kube nomthelela omuhle ekusimeni ngokomzwelo kwabafazi.

Cishe akumangalisi ukuthi ukwaneliseka emshadweni kwehle kubo bobabili abesilisa nabesifazane esifundweni. Ngezinyanga eziyi-18, i-honeymoon kwase kuphelile ngayo. Kodwa-ke, abacwaningi bathole ukuthi izici ezithile zobuntu emadodeni noma kumakhosikazi zabikezela ukuthi ukwaneliseka kwabo emshadweni kwehle kangakanani.

Ubuntu Obufundwayo Obubalulekile

Izinto Ezintathu Ubuso Bakho Ezitshela Umhlaba