Ungasinda Kanjani Umama weNarcissistic

-Delile

• Ukufundwa Okubalulekile Kwe-Narcissism
• Izikhali Zengqondo I-Narcissist Ingazisebenzisa

Abenzi amakhadi weHallmark omama abangazithandi izingane zabo. Eqinisweni, abawenzeli amakhadi we-Hallmark omama bethu abaningi.

Ngenkathi sibhekabheka onqenqema bamakhadi oSuku Lomama, sifunda ngombono omuhle womama - omama abazidela ngenxa yezingane zabo, abahlale bekhona bezenzela izingane zabo, ezenza izingane zabo zizizwe zithandwa futhi zithandwa, futhi ngubani okucacisile lokho izingane zabo beza njalo kuqala.

Sifunde ngomama ababekhona ukuzanga bonke o-boo-boo futhi bashayele yonke i-carpool, abangakaze baphuthelwe ngumdlalo webhola futhi babe nama-brownies nezintuthwane ezenziwe ngokwabo ku-log abalinde ukudla okulula ngemuva kwesikole. Sifunde ngabomama ababezimisele ngezinkulumo zasebusuku ngemuva kosuku olubi, omama ababefana nomngani omkhulu - Omama Abakhulu Emhlabeni. Impela, labomama bakhona ndawo thile?

Kulabo bethu abangenabo omama uHallmark abhala ngabo, inqubo yokukhetha ikhadi ingaba yinselele. Ngiqonde ukuthi, aphi wonke amakhadi athi, “Ngiyabonga ngokwenza konke okusemandleni akho, noma ngabe bekungaphelele njalo”?

Kepha ngamadodakazi omama abathandanayo, uSuku Lomama lungazizwa lubuhlungu impela. Siyazi ukuthi noma yini esiyenzayo ngeke ilunge ngokwanele, kepha iningi lethu liyaphikelela. Ngakho-ke unyaka nonyaka, lapho iqabunga liyancibilika, futhi ama-tulip buds abheka iziqongo zawo eziluhlaza ukuphuma emhlabathini oncibilikisiwe, amadodakazi alimele athululela ama-racks amakhadi, efuna eyodwa ezojabulisa umama wabo ngaphandle kokukhaphela iqiniso lokwenzeka kwabo. Ekufuneni ikhadi elingenacala kakhulu abangalithola (“Sikufisela Usuku Olukhethekile” noma “Sikubungaze!”), Baphoqeleka ukuba basuse amakhadi mayelana nomama ababefisa ukuba nabo futhi babhekane nokuswela nokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo ababhekana nakho . Isifiso sibafice - ukulangazelela umama abangasoze baba nakho.

Sikholwa ukuthi lapho owesifazane eba ngumama, uthando luyazalwa. Futhi kwabesifazane abaningi, kunjalo. Inkinobho yemvelo iyaphenya, futhi sithwelwe nezingane zethu. Umsindo wokukhala kwabo udonsela ezinhliziyweni zethu. Sibabuka ngokungapheli ebusweni babo. Futhi kubonakala sengathi asisusi izandla zethu kulezo zinyawo ezincane eziwubudlova. Isiko lethu liyayithokozisa le mibono yokuba ngumama, siyisebenzisela ukusidayisela konke kusuka kumanabukeni kuya ezimotweni kuya kumshuwalense wokuphila.

Iqiniso - ngokungafani nalokho uPampers afuna sikukholelwe - ukuthi ukuba ngumama kuyinkimbinkimbi. Uthando lufakwa ngezikhathi zenzondo (njengomama wengane encane, ngingasho lokhu ngokuqiniseka okukhulu). Siyakhungatheka, siphelelwe umoya, futhi asikwazi ngaso sonke isikhathi ukunikeza izingane zethu lokho ezikudingayo. Kunezikhathi lapho sifuna ukunyamalala, lapho sizibuza ukuthi: Kungani ngake ngacabanga ukuthi lokhu kungaba ngumqondo omuhle? Kepha-ke ingane yethu ifika isigaxe, noma lokho kubukeka okudabukisayo, okuxolisayo, noma ukuvuma ukuthi, impela, besinembile uma sithi akunakwenzeka ukufaka amasokisi akho ngemuva izicathulo zakho, futhi inhliziyo yethu iyancibilika futhi. “Ukuba ngumama owenele” nakanjani kugcwele ukuqhuma, ukwehluleka, futhi - mhlawumbe okubaluleke kakhulu - ukulungiswa.

Kepha kwesinye isikhathi lokhu kwehluleka kuyingozi kakhulu kunokuqhekeka okuhle ebudlelwaneni obunothando bomama nengane. Kwesinye isikhathi kunokuthile okungahambi kahle enqubeni yokuba ngumama.

Abanye omama abakwazi ukuthanda ingane yabo ngokweqiniso.

Umhlaba awazi ukuthi wenzeni ngalokhu; akusona isihloko sengxoxo kumama blogs noma kuma-playdates, futhi imvamisa asikhulumi ngisho nangalokho phakathi kwabangane bethu abakhulu. Uma ungazange uzizwele ngokwakho, kunzima ukucabanga ukuthi abanye besifazane abakhubazekile ngenxa yezinhlekelele zabo futhi bakulangazelela kakhulu ukugcwalisa ubuze babo kangangokuthi abakwazi ukubona izingane zabo njengabantu abahlukile abafanele uthando.

Omama abanokuphazamiseka kobuntu kwe-narcissistic babheka ingane yabo njengezandiso zabo - into okufanele benze ngayo izinto eziphikisiwe noma ezingafuneki zobuntu babo, esincintisana nabo, nomthombo womona. Omama be-narcissistic bahlala kumaqiniso abo, akhiwe azungeze umbono wabo uqobo "omuhle" futhi ofanele ukunakwa nokukhulekelwa. Bazokwenza noma yini edingekayo ukuze kulondolozwe lesi sithombe sabo, benganaki imvithi eshiywe ekuvukeni kwabo. I-narcissist yangempela ayikwazi ukwakha ubudlelwano - okungenani hhayi ngendlela abantu abaningi abacabanga ngayo. Umama othanda izinto zobudlova uyakwazi ukubona abanye abantu, kufaka phakathi izingane zakhe, njengezinto ezihlangabezana noma eziphazamisa izidingo zakhe.

I-Psychoanalyst nodokotela wezingane uD.W. U-Winicott uthe, "Umama ubuka ingane ezandleni zakhe, nengane ibuka ubuso bukanina bese izithola ikuyo ... inqobo nje uma umama ebuka isidalwa esiyingqayizivele, esincane, esingenakuzisiza futhi engazivezi lokho akulindele. , ukwesaba nezinhlelo ngengane. Kuleso simo, ingane ibingazitholi isingena ebusweni bukanina, kodwa kunalokho izoyikhuluma kanina. Le ngane ingahlala ingenaso isibuko, futhi impilo yayo yonke ibizobe ifuna lokhu isibuko ngeze. "

Izingane zinenkinga yokufuna uthando nokwamukelwa kwabazali bazo. Lapho bengayitholi, bakholelwa ukuthi kungenxa yokuthi abathandeki. Kuphephe kakhulu ukuhlala ezweni okhohlakele kulo kunokuhlala emhlabeni lapho umuntu okufanele akuthande, akunakekele futhi akuvikele engakwazi ukukwenza lokho. Ngemuva kwakho konke, uma siyinkinga, lapho-ke singaziguqula nje sigcine sithandwa. Izingane eziningi zisebenza ngokungakhathali zifuna ukuthandwa nokwamukelwa ngumama, kepha zikuthola kufana nokuzama ukukhama igazi etsheni.

Ukufundwa Okubalulekile Kwe-Narcissism

Izikhali Zengqondo I-Narcissist Ingazisebenzisa