Masiyekeni Ukuzama Ukwenza Ubuntwana Bobhadane Bube "Okujwayelekile"

Ngenyanga edlule I-New York Times ishicilele udaba olunesihloko esithi “Isikhathi Sesikrini Sezingane Sesikhuphukile Kubhubhane, Abazali Abasabisayo Nabaphenyi.” Izinto ezinhle ezesabekayo. Ucezu luqukethe imishwana ethusayo efana nokuthi “ukuhoxiswa kwe-epic” kanye “nokulutha” kanye “nokulahlekelwa” yizingane kubuchwepheshe. Iqhathanisa ukukhipha izingane ezikrinini “nokushumayela ukungayi endaweni yokucima ukoma.”

Ini?!

Sisenkingeni.

Konke kwehlukile.

Ukuba ngumzali sekuvele sekuqedile impilo yabazali, njengoba kukhonjisiwe kwesinye isihloko ku I-New York Times enesihloko esithi “Omama Abathathu Oseceleni.”

Iseluleko sami kwabezindaba kanye nochwepheshe ababonayo? Yekani ukwethusa abazali.

Yebo, isikhathi sesikrini phakathi kwezingane nentsha sibe sikhulu kakhulu ngo-2020 nango-2021 kunakuqala. Kepha lokhu kuyisidingo endaweni yamanje, hhayi inhlekelele. Izikrini ziyisisekelo sokufunda, ukuxhuma emphakathini, nokuzijabulisa kwezingane zethu njengamanje. Ukuholwa kwethu kwamanje okuzungeze izingane nezikrini kususelwa ekucabangeni nasezinhlelweni zangaphambi kobhadane. Ukuzama ukusebenzisa lesi siqondiso manje kunamaphutha ngokuyisisekelo ngoba sisezweni elihluke ngokuphelele kunangonyaka odlule. Kungafana nokukhononda ngezindiza ngoba asikwazi ukwehlisa amafasitela ukuze sithole umoya omusha ngenkathi sigibela izwe lethu ezimotweni zethu.

Cabanga Ngesithombe Esikhulu

Ake sicabangele isithombe esikhulu. Yonke ingxenye yezimpilo zezingane iye yathintwa yilolu bhubhane ngezinga elithile — ukulinganiselwa ekuxhumaneni nabantu, ukufunda nokudlala bekungekhona okokuzithandela. Ukusinda kobhadane kube yinto eza kuqala. Ukuhlala uxhunywe ngamadijithi kuvumele izingane ukuthi ziqhubeke nezingxenye ezithile zempilo yazo, yize ngezindlela ezihluke kakhulu. Kepha lelo iphuzu. Kuyisisekelo sokuqala ngokuphelele. “Okujwayelekile” okudala akusebenzi njengamanje — akukho.

Futhi ezinye zezingxenye "ezinkulu ezimbi" ze- NY Times ngombono wami, beziyiziphukuphuku nje. Umfana omncane uthole ukukhululeka emidlalweni yakhe lapho kufa inja yomndeni wakhe. Manje? Yebo wakwenza. Sonke sibheka ukuthula okuncane nenduduzo osizini. Lokho akuyona into ephazamisayo. Usizi luza ngamagagasi futhi ukusinda kwamagagasi amakhulu kunzima. Ngubani ongayitholile induduzo engxoxweni nomngane noma kwesinye isikhathi umsebenzi, ukwenza izinto zizwakale zivamile futhi lapho ulilela ukufa? Futhi njengamanje le ngane ayikwazi ukuya endlini yomngani ukuyozihlalela, i-decompress, ngakho-ke umdlalo uyisixazululo esivumelanayo.

Enye i-anecdote kulesi sihloko imayelana nobaba ozizwa elahlekelwe ingane yakhe futhi ehlulekile njengomzali ngoba indodana yakhe eneminyaka engu-14 ubudala icabanga ngocingo lwayo "njengempilo yayo yonke". Izimpilo zezingane zazifudukela kumafoni abo ngaphambi kwalolu bhubhane. Futhi ngaphambi komakhalekhukhwini, njengabantu abaneminyaka engu-14 ubudala, sathuthela egunjini lokuhlala ehholo, lapho ucingo lwalulenga khona, ngenkathi sihleli ebumnyameni futhi sikhuluma nabangani, futhi abazali bethu basiklolodela ngokungafuni ukuchitha isikhathi nabo futhi. Izingane ezikuleyo minyaka kufanele ziphume ukuze zixhumane nontanga-zizakhela ngokwazo. Kufanele sibalahlekele kancane kule minyaka. Futhi njengamanje lezo zixhumanisi zontanga nezimpilo ikakhulu zikusikhala sedijithali ngoba lezo ukuphela kwendlela esebenzayo. Siyabonga okuhle ukuthi bangabamba iqhaza kulo msebenzi obalulekile wentuthuko. Ukuhambisa lokhu kuziphatha ezindaweni zedijithali kuyenzeka, akungethusi.

Sonke Sidinga Ukukhululwa

Ukulahleka, usizi, nokwesaba ngesikhathi salo bhubhane kungokoqobo. Ubuchopho bethu busesimweni esifanele sokuqapha. Lokhu kuyakhathaza — ngokomzimba, ngokuqonda nangokomzwelo. Futhi uma iqhubeka isikhathi eside, kuba nzima ukubuyisa - ukubuyela kunoma yini efana nesisekelo sethu. Sidinga isikhathi sokuncipha, singenzi lutho, sizinike imvume yokufaka uphethiloli kabusha. Sihlala sidinga okunye kwalokhu ezimpilweni zethu; Isikhathi sokuphumula sangempela sibalulekile enhlalakahleni yethu yengqondo. Futhi siyayidinga manje kunanini ngaphambili.

Lesi sidingo "sokukhipha ubuchopho" asisiqiniso kangako ezinganeni kunabantu abadala. Eqinisweni, ngezindlela eziningi, izingane zikhathele kakhulu. Baphatha zonke izingcindezi ezijwayelekile zokukhula ezinjengokwakha ubuchopho nomzimba, ukuthuthukisa amakhono wokulawula imizwa nokuziphatha, nokuzulazula emanzini okhohlisayo enhlalo yobuntwana nasebusheni. Futhi manje bayakwenza kubhubhane. Kwesinye isikhathi izingane zidinga ukuba zodwa zingacabangi kakhulu nganoma yini. Futhi mhlawumbe, mhlawumbe, bayakudinga kakhulu manje.

Ukucaphuna Ucwaningo Ngaphandle Kokuqukethwe

Amaqhinga okusabisa i-athikili afaka phakathi ukucaphuna izindatshana zocwaningo ezisho izinto ezimbi kakhulu ngezingane nezikrini. I-athikili eyodwa abayixhumanisa nayo imayelana nezinguquko zezindaba zobuchopho ezibonwa kubantu abadala abane-Internet Gaming Disorder, eyashicilelwa kudala ngaphambi kwalolu bhubhane. Okunye okukhulunyiwe ucwaningo olushicilelwe ngoJulayi 2020 mayelana nokulandela isikhathi esichithwa yizingane ezincane ezikrinini. Abaphenyi baphinde bathwebula izindlela zokusebenzisa lapho izingane zazithola khona izinto ezigxile kubantu abadala, ngokusobala ngaphandle kolwazi lwabazali bazo. Le mininingwane yocwaningo yaqoqwa nangaphambi kobhadane, ngoba indatshana yemukelwa ukuthi ishicilelwe ngoMashi 2020.

Ukufinyelela kokuqukethwe okungalingani nobudala namandla okusetshenziswa kwesikrini senkinga / sokulutha umlutha kuyizinkinga ezandulela ubhadane futhi ezingacaciseli amazinga okusetshenziswa kobhadane. Inkinga ngokwethulwa kwale nto kufayela le- New York Times i-athikili ukuthi ithatha ukuthi amazinga aphezulu okusetshenziswa kwesikrini ngesikhathi se-COVID-19 azodala ngokuzenzakalela amazinga aphezulu ezinkinga ezichazwe ocwaningweni. Asikwazi ukwenza lokho kucabanga. Asinayo indlela yokwazi ukuthi umthelela uzoba yini, uma ukhona. Eqinisweni, besingacabanga izindlela zokuthi lezi zinkinga zingancishiswa. Mhlawumbe abazali nezingane bahlala ekhaya kakhulu futhi basebenzisa izikrini ezinemvamisa enjalo kuzovumela ukuqonda okwengeziwe nokushelela esikhaleni sedijithali okunganciphisa lezi zinkinga kanye / noma kuveze izixazululo zokuzinciphisa.

Ukuqhuma ngokushesha ukufinyelela kolwazi nesikhathi sesikrini kulethe izinselelo kubazali, kothisha, nakubasebenzi bezempilo ezinganeni esikhathini sekhulu leminyaka elidlule, ngoba izingane zethu zakwaGen Z kwakungabokuqala bomdabu bedijithali. Izingozi zesikhathi eseqile kwesikrini, ikakhulukazi uma zithatha enye imisebenzi ebalulekile yokuthuthuka efana nokuzijabulisa, ukwenza umsebenzi womzimba, nokwenza umsebenzi wesikole, kuyabonakala futhi kubalulekile ukutadisha. Kodwa-ke, ukutholakala kwayo yonke leyo misebenzi kuguqulwe kakhulu esimweni samanje somhlaba wethu. Lokho akusho ukuthi asinaki isidingo seminye imisebenzi; kusho nje ukuthi ukusebenzisa indinganiso endala yokuthi "okujwayelekile" ngeke kusebenze njengamanje. Lokho akusho ukuthi kubi noma kubi kakhulu — yilokho okumele kwenzeke manje ukuze usinde.

Sisendaweni yokuhlukumezeka ngokubambisana nokulila. Sikwimodi yokusinda. Izinguquko nokwehluka emsebenzini wethu kubiza intela yonke imithombo yethu, yangaphakathi nangaphandle, yezingane kanye nabantu abadala ngokufanayo. Senza izinguquko, njengokusebenzisa izikrini eziningi, egameni lokusinda. Asikho ku- "Ngaphambi Kwezikhathi," futhi asikwazi ukuzibamba kulindelo olwasungulwa ngalezo zikhathi. Siyakwazi ukuzivumelanisa nezimo ngoba kufanele, kanjalo nezingane zethu.

Yini Ingozi Ekuzameni?

Kungani kungaba yingozi ukuzama ukudala ubuntwana "obujwayelekile" bezingane zethu njengamanje? Yini ingozi ekuzameni? Kakhulu. Okugqame kakhulu ukuzizwa unecala nokuphelelwa yithemba abazali abazizwa ngakho uma sizichaza ngokuthi “sifeyila” izingane zethu lapho singeke senze izinto zibe “ezijwayelekile.” Le mizwa engemihle enamandla iqeda imithombo yethu yangaphakathi enwetshiwe, isishiyela ijusi elincane lokulawula imizwa yethu kanye nenkinga yokuxazulula indawo eguquguqukayo emhlabeni namuhla.

Enye ingozi enkulu ikhulisa ukungqubuzana okungadingekile nezingane zethu. Uma inhloso yethu ukuthi izingane zethu (kanye nathi) zicabange, zizwe, futhi ziziphathe “ngokujwayelekile” (njengoba kuchazwe ngaphambi kobu bhubhane), lokhu kuzophela ekukhungathekeni okungajwayelekile kuwo wonke umuntu — ngemuva kokukhala kakhulu nokukhala ezinhlangothini zombili, into esingayidingi kakhulu kulezi zinsuku. Kuzoba nenala yalezo zikhathi ngaphandle kokwenza kube kubi kakhulu ngokulindelwe okungenangqondo.

Ekugcineni, uma sigxila kakhulu ekugcineni izinto ngendlela ebezijwayele ukuba ngayo, sibeka engcupheni yokukhawulela amandla ezingane zethu zokuzijwayeza okusha nokungaziwa. Ukudala, ukukhula, nokuzivumelanisa nezimo ngamakhono abalulekile esikhathini soshintsho olukhulu nokucindezeleka okukhulu. Ukuzama ukugcina izinto zifana — ukusetha “okujwayelekile” okudala njengenhloso — kungasisusa emgudwini ngokwakha lamakhono nokuwasebenzisa.

Ngakho-ke, Yini Abazali Okufanele Bayenze?

Sika wena nezingane zakho ikhefu. Ungesabi izihloko ezisematheni nezinkulumo ezikhuluma ngezingane kulo bhubhane. Bayasinda. Izindaba zabo, ngokwencazelo, zizoba yingxenye yalesi sikhathi nokuphazamiseka kwaso okungokomlando kusuka kumugqa wesikhathi nangezindaba ezedlule. Ukwamukela leli qiniso akukushintshi ukulahlekelwa kanye nokwesaba sonke esikuzwayo ngalesi sikhathi. Kumane kusinikeze isikhala somzwelo nesokucabanga ukuyeka ukuzama ukwenza impilo njengakudala. Ububele nomusa womsebenzi omangalisayo owenziwa yiwo wonke umuntu ukuze uqhubeke nje uphethiloli obalulekile kithi sonke. Ilukuluku mayelana nokuhlangenwe nakho kwezingane zethu lungaba umfutho kulolu hambo, kanti ukuzama ukulawula ukulandisa kuyasivala futhi kuphumele ekukhungathekeni okungadingekile, izingxabano nokuzizwa sinecala.