IDrayivu Yokuncintisana Kwabazali Akuyona Eyokudlala Kwezingane

Abazali abaningi banenkinga yokwazi ukuthi bangahlukanisa kuphi phakathi kokukhula komoya wokuncintisana wezingane zabo kanye nesifiso sabo sokuthi ingane yabo iwine. Abanye abazali bayakushisekela ukunqoba kuze kube seqophelweni lokuphoxeka ngisho nokucasuka lapho ingane yabo ihlulwa kwezemidlalo. Abazali abasabela ngale ndlela bavame ukungazi ngomthelela omubi abangaba nawo ekhonweni lezingane zabo lokuphumelela futhi ngenxa yalokho banqobe. Ngokungazi, isimo sengqondo sokushiseka ngokweqile komzali singesabisa ingane esacabanga ukuthi ukuwina, ukuba nekhono, ukuba yilungu leqembu elihle nokubonisa ukuba ngumdlali omuhle kwezemidlalo konke kuhlangana kanjani. Enganeni, ukuhlangana phakathi kokujabulisa umzali nokwamukela umbono wabo ngokuwina nokuhlulwa kuvame isenzo sokulinganisa. Eqinisweni, ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi ukusebenza kwengane kungaphazanyiswa ngisho nangabazali abancintisana ngokweqile ngenxa yokukhathazeka kwangaphakathi kwengane okulethele le nkinga eyengeziwe.

Kukhona ucwaningo lokuxhasa ukuthi izingane ezincane ziqala ukudlala imidlalo ngaphandle komuzwa oqinile wokuwina noma wokuhlulwa. Abazali abakwazi ukuxhasa ngempumelelo ukubandakanyeka kwezemidlalo kwezingane zabo bakwenza lokho ngokunikeza ukwesekwa kwezinto zokusebenza kanye nezezimali, banikeze impendulo eyakhayo futhi baqinise ukubaluleka kokubambisana kanye nobuchule bamakhono. Laba bazali bavumela izingane zabo ukuba zithuthukise umuzwa wazo womoya wokuncintisana futhi bayaqaphela ukuthi bangathonya le nqubo.

Ngokwesiko lethu eligxile emigomeni abazali bayayivuma intshisekelo yabo yokuba nengane “iwine”. Abazali abazi bayayeka ukubuza imibuzo efana nokuthi, “Uphumelele? Bekuyini isikolo? Wenze imigomo emingaki? ” Bayabona ukuthi isimo sokuhlola sale mibuzo singesabisa enganeni. Kuthiwani uma impendulo ingu-negative kuzo zombili lezi zibalo? Akulula ngengane ukubika izindaba ezimbi kumzali otshalwe ngokweqile. Ngiyazi ngezingane eziqamba amanga futhi zibike imiphumela engamanga, emihle ukuze ngigweme ukudumaza umzali. Ngemuva kwakho konke, abazali ngabantu izingane ezihlose ukuzijabulisa kakhulu.

Nawa amanye amathiphu okuthi abazali bangawukhuthaza kanjani umbono onempilo wokuncintisana futhi bavumele ingane yabo ithuthukise umqondo wayo wokuwina nokuhlulwa:

• Ngamela imibuzo yabo ngokuwina, ukwehlulwa kanye nokuthola amagoli ngemuva komdlalo. Vele abazali bafuna ukwazi, kepha ukubamba lowo mcabango kuvame ukuba ngcono kuze kube yilapho ingane ivolontiya imininingwane.

• Vumela abaqeqeshi ukuthi benze ukuzimisela ngezinga lamakhono engane, ukunikezwa kweqembu nesikhathi sokudlala. Vumela abaqeqeshi banikeze iziphakamiso zokuthi unganikela kanjani ukwesekwa okuhle. Ukwamukela ukuholwa ngabaqeqeshi bezingane kufana nokwamukela kothisha babo.

• Cabanga futhi uhloniphe izisusa zengane yazo zokufuna ukuzibandakanya kwezemidlalo. Kunezingane eziningi ezingakhuthazwa ngokuyinhloko ukuwina. Uthando lwabo lomdlalo nesifiso sabo sokuba nabangane babo njengengxenye yeqembu kungahle kunqobe ukunqoba. Uma bephumelela, kuhle! Kepha ukuhlangana kweqembu kungaba yinto eyinhloko.

• Bona futhi unqobe noma yiziphi izisusa ezingahambelani nesifiso sengane nentshisekelo yakho ekudlaleni imidlalo.

• Bheka ukuncintisana njengesici semidlalo yeqembu, hhayi ebaluleke kakhulu noma engaphansi kunezinye izingxenye. Ukwenza ukuncintisana kube nemithelela ebaluleke kakhulu ekusebenzeni kabi ngenxa yengcindezi ebeka enganeni ukuthi iwine esikhundleni sokudlala kahle, ukuzijabulisa nokufunda ngale nqubo.

Ukuze uthole amathiphu amaningi nocwaningo iya ku- TrueCompetition.org, iwebhusayithi eyasungulwa nguDavid Shields, uprofesa ongumsizi wesayensi yokusebenza kwengqondo eSt. Louis Community College.

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