Umbuzo: Unazo Izingane? Impendulo: Cha

Ngidonsa umoya, bese ngifaka umbuzo engihlala ngesaba ukuwuzwa futhi angikaze ngiwubuze. Mane nje uqede ngakho.

"Ingabe unazo izingane?"

Uyaphendula, “Cha. “Wena?”

"Cha."

Singabangane abasha, sikhahlela isihlabathi njengoba sihamba ngasogwini oluseduze nogwadule, sikhuluma njengoba kwenza abesifazane lapho sijwayelana kangcono. Kade ngifuna ukukhuluma ngempilo ngaphandle kwezingane isikhathi eside futhi ngibuze ukuthi ngabe ulungile yini ukuxoxa ngale ndaba. Ungu.

Sabelana ngendlela esichaza ngayo izimpilo zethu, okubalulekile kithi, ukuthi sehluke kanjani kunezingane zakwethu nabangane abanezingane zabo. Kuyathakazelisa. Akekho kithi owake wakhuluma kanjena phambilini.

Eminyakeni edlule, lezi zingxoxo zishibilika eqhweni ukufaka abanye abangebona abazali nalabo abangakaqiniseki ukuthi ikusasa labo lingaholelaphi. Njengami nomngane wami, kuyaqabukela bekhuluma ngalezi zihloko nabanye abantu, ngisho nalabo ababaziyo abangenazo izingane.

Kepha ngokuxoxa, sithola ukufana okuningi mayelana nokuthi izimpilo zethu zithinteka kanjani ukungabi bikho kwenzalo, kufaka phakathi ubungani, ingokomoya, nokuthi siwuchaza kanjani umndeni. Imali, ukuhlela kokuphela kokuphila, ukuthi sisebenzisa kanjani amaholide.

Lapho sithatha isinqumo sokuhlanganyela ukuthi kwenzeka kanjani ukuthi singabi nabantwana, izizathu ziyahlukahluka kakhulu futhi kaningi ziyinkimbinkimbi. Abanye bethu bayehluleka ukukhulelwa. Abanye bakhetha ukuphuma noma bakhethe ukungazibeki engcupheni yokudlula ezimeni zofuzo. Futhi abanye abanabo abalingani abasebenzayo futhi banquma ukungahambi bodwa.

Iphuzu eliyinhloko: Akekho ophume ezinkalweni zethu. Lokho akukubi noma kukuhle, kwehlukile nje.

Kunezinto okungebona abazali abazi kangako ngazo, ezinjengezinhlungu zokubeletha, ukubeka isikhathi sentsha sokufika ekhaya, ukuthi kunjani lapho indodakazi iba ngumama, noma indodana iba ubaba.

Kunezinye izinto esivame ukwazi okuningi ngazo — ukufunda okuqhubekayo, ukuzimela komuntu siqu, noma ukunikela esikhwameni sasekolishi ngengane esingahle sihlangane nayo. Izinto ezinjalo azivinjelwe abazali, kunjalo. Labo bethu abangenazo izingane bamane nje banamandla amaningi ezimpilweni zethu ukuziphishekela.

Kungani kunendaba lokhu? Kokunye, ngoba abantu abangenazingane bakuyo yonke indawo — udade noma umfowethu, umakhelwane, uthisha othandwa kakhulu yingane. Ngokuya ngokuthi sazalwa nini, oyedwa kwabadala abahlanu noma abayisithupha abangaphezu kweminyaka engama-45 akasoze aba nezingane. Lokho kuphindaphinda isilinganiso isizukulwane esisodwa esedlule.

Izingane zanamuhla nabazukulu banamuhla bangakhula bahlanganyele nathi. Ukungabi nabantwana kungaphindeka kabili njengoba uGen X kanye neminyaka eyizinkulungwane babheka izinketho zabo zokubambisana, ezomnotho zokukhulisa umndeni, kanye nomthelela wokwanda kwabantu emhlabeni wethu.

Njengoba abantu abasha banamuhla becabanga ngokuba ngumzali, baphendukela kubani uma becabanga indlela engafaki izingane? Noma funda ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi abanazo ngenxa yokungazali noma ukungabi khona komlingani osebenzayo? Ngifisa sengathi ngabe bengingebona omama nobaba asebekhulile abazothululela isifuba kubo futhi bafune ukuholwa kuyo.

Kodwa ngemva kokuba mina nomyeni wami sesisukile edolobheni esasihlangana kulo — okokuqala saya emaphethelweni edolobha, sabe sesiya emphakathini omncane wasemaphandleni — ngangiqabukela ngihlangana nabanye ababengenazo izingane. Lapho ngenza kanjalo, ngangingaqiniseki ukuthi ngizoyiqala kanjani le ndaba ngaphandle kokuzwa sengathi ngiyabhala.

Uma ngangikhuluma, nomama bekhona eqenjini, babezongiduduza ngokushesha noma bakhombe zonke izingane enginazo empilweni yami — abashana nabashana kanye nezingane zabangane bami. Noma khuluma ngezilwane ezifuywayo. Lokho bekukuhle, kepha labo ebengifuna ukuzwa kubo, abanjengami, iningi labo ligcina umama.

Kulezi zinsuku anginamahloni okubuza ngombuzo ofanayo engiwuphikise lapho ngibuza lolo suku olwandle. Hhayi ukuyiqeda futhi, kepha ukuze sikwazi ukuhlanganyela okwenzeka empilweni yethu.

Ngibe nethuba lokufunda kubantu beminyaka yonke abangenazo izingane futhi abazakhele ubungane obuhlala njalo ngokuya ngalokho esabelana ngakho, nokuthi sehluke kanjani. Ukuhlola izimpilo zabanye kuyaqhubeka nokuvula izinketho zokuphila engingakaze ngazi ukuthi zikhona.

Ngiyazi ukuthi abazali abaningi nogogo nomkhulu banentshisekelo yokuthi impilo yezingane zabo nabazukulu babo ingaba njani uma bengenazo izingane, kepha bayanqikaza ukusondela esihlokweni ngokwesaba ukulimala kwemizwa. Kubhulogi yami, "Okungabonakali," sizohlola izindlela ezahlukahlukene zokwakha ukuqonda okubanzi nokuqeda ukucwaswa nezinkolelo-ze mayelana neqiniso elilula lokuthi akuyena wonke umuntu ozoba umzali.

Impilo ngaphandle kwezingane ingaba mnandi futhi izuzise njengokukhulisa umndeni. Umthelela wethu emhlabeni mkhulu kakhulu kepha uvame ukubukelwa phansi.

Emsebenzini, sihola imali futhi sisebenzisa amandla. Ebudlelwaneni nabangane, umndeni, nezingane zabanye abantu, izintshisekelo zethu neminikelo yethu kuguqula izimpilo. Yize izindlela zethu zokuzala zingase zibe sengozini yesifo, siletha ubukhona obuhlukahlukene emiphakathini esihlala kuyo.

Futhi ngemuva kokuphela kwesikhathi sethu eMhlabeni, sishiya okunye ngaphandle kwezinyathelo zezingane zethu.

Abazali, omama ikakhulukazi, bavame ukusiza abanye ukuthi baqonde ukukhulelwa, futhi ngemuva kokuzalwa kwezingane, bahola abazali abasha ezindimeni zabo ezintsha ezingajwayelekile. Ukuxhumana okuhle kwezizukulwane.

Kepha umama nobaba wakho abakwazi ukuchaza ukuthi kunjani ukungabi nezingane, futhi cha Ongakulindela Uma Ulindele lapho ungekho futhi ngeke uphinde ube khona. Kokuthi "Okungabonakali," sizohlola eminye imizila yokwakha izimpilo ezinenjongo, ukuxhumana, nenjabulo — okuhle, okubi, nokungalindelekile.