Usindisiwe Noma Ulungele?

Ukukhulisa izingane ezinesibindi konke ukufutheka, okuhle ngoba kunikezwe ukuhlobana okusondele nempilo yengqondo isiyonke.

Encwadini yabo Ukukhula Ukuqina , ababhali uTatyana Barankin noNazilla Khanlou bayaluleka, “Abantu ababekezelayo bangabhekana ngokuphumelelayo, noma bavumelane nezimo, zokucindezeleka kanye nezimo zokuphila eziyinselele. Bafunda kokuhlangenwe nakho kokukwazi ukuphatha ngempumelelo esimweni esisodwa, okwenza bakwazi ukubhekana kangcono nengcindezi nezinselelo ezimeni ezizayo ”(UBarankin noKhanlou, 2007).

Ngokwakhe, uBonnie Benard, M.S.W. , uthi, "Sonke sizalwa sinamandla okuqina, sinamandla okuthuthukisa imikhuba evame ukutholakala kulabo abasinda ngokuzimela: ikhono lomphakathi (ukuphendula, ukuguquguquka kwamasiko, uzwela, ukunakekela, amakhono okuxhumana, kanye namahlaya); ukuxazulula izinkinga (ukuhlela, ukufuna usizo, ukucabanga okubucayi nokudala); ukuzimela (umqondo wobunikazi, ukusebenza kahle, ukuzazi, ukwenza umsebenzi, nokuqhela okuguqukayo kusuka kumilayezo nemibandela engemihle); kanye nomuzwa wenhloso nokukholelwa ekusaseni eliqhakazile (ukuqondiswa kwezinhloso, izifiso zemfundo, ithemba, ukholo, nokuxhumana ngokomoya) ”(Benard, 2021).

Izindaba ezinhle ezingaphezulu zingatholakala kwezakamuva IWall Street Journal esihloko sithi, “Ngaphandle Kobungozi Bokuqubuka Kwe-Covid-19, Amakamu Asehlobo Agcwalisa Ngokushesha,” okufakazela imizamo ephumelelayo yamakamu ehlobo avulwa ngokuphepha ngo-2020 noma enza ibalazwe ngo-2021.

Ngakho-ke, yikuphi ukuxhumana phakathi kwekamu nokuqina? Kwakhe Ikhempu Magazine esithi, “Amakamu Asiza Ukwenza Izingane Zikwazi Ukubekezela,” kusho uMichael Ungar, Ph.D., “Uma kukhulunywa ngokuqina, nondla imvelo yecilongo. Amakamu, njengezikole ezinhle nemindeni enothando, agoma izingane ekulweni nobunzima ngokuzinikeza izingqinamba ezilawulekayo zokuxhaswa kanye nokusekelwa abakudingayo ukuze bafunde ukubhekana ngokuphumelelayo nangezindlela eziguquguqukayo ... ”(Ungar, 2012).

I-Ungar iyaqhubeka nokubalula okuhlangenwe nakho okuyisikhombisa okudingwa yizingane.

1. Ubudlelwano obusha, hhayi nontanga kuphela, kodwa nabantu abadala abathembekile ngaphandle kwabazali bezingane.
2. Ubunikazi obunamandla lokho kwenza izingane zizizwe zizethemba phambi kwabanye, kunikeza izingane okuthile okuqotho abangakuthanda ngabo
3. Amakamu asiza izingane bazizwe belawula izimpilo zabo.
4. Amakamu aqinisekisa ukuthi zonke izingane zikhona baphathwe ngobulungiswa.
5. Ekamu, izingane ziyathola abakudingayo ukuze bakhule ngokomzimba.
6. Mhlawumbe okuhle kunakho konke, amakamu anikeza izingane ithuba ukuzizwa sengathi bangababo.
7. Amakamu anganikeza izingane umuzwa ongcono wesiko labo.

Inani lokufunda - nokuzijwayeza - ukuqina enkambeni yasehlobo lafakwa enkulumweni ngaleso sikhathi uCameron Grey owayeneminyaka engu-16 eyanikeza abasebenza ekamu abasebasha endimeni yakhe njengomholi wentsha eCamp Hazen yaseConnecticut. Wangihlanganyela nami ku-Zoom.

Ngifuna nonke nicabange ngokuthile onekhono kukho, mhlawumbe umdlalo noma ikhono enilifunde ekhempini. Manje, ngifuna ucabange ukuthi ungaba nekhono kangakanani kulowo msebenzi ofanayo uma ungakaze wehluleke ngenkathi uzama. Mhlawumbe muhle kabi, akunjalo?

Kuyini ukwehluleka? Yebo, abantu bakuchaza njengokungaphumeleli noma ukungalungi ngokwanele. Kodwa-ke, ngibona ukwehluleka njengokuphumelela. Esinye sezisho engisithandayo "ukuhluleka ukuya phambili." Lokhu kusho ukuthi ukuze uthuthuke, udinga ukuba nezingqinamba.

Ngifuna ukukucacisela nonke manje ukuthi ukwehluleka KULUNGILE futhi kuyadingeka ukuthuthuka empilweni. Ngenkathi sonke sisebancane, iningi uma kungebona bonke abazali bethu abasixwayisa ukuthi singalokothi sithinte isitofu lapho sivuliwe. Yini oyenzile ngokulandelayo? Cishe uke wayithinta kodwa, qagela ukuthi yini, manje uyazi ukuthi ungaphinde uthinte isitofu esishisayo.

Ake ngikubuyisele emuva onyakeni omusha. Bengihleli ekilasini lomlando womhlaba ngilinde ukuthola ukuhlolwa kwami. Ngicabanga ukuthi ngenze isimanga, ngabuza uthisha wami ukuthi imaphi amaphuzu amabi kakhulu. Uthe u-57%. Ngazitshela ukuthi, “Isiphi isilima esathola u-57%?” Ngithole ama-57%. Ngangiyisilima leso. Eqinisweni, lokhu kubuyiselwa emuva kwangenza ngaba umfundi ongcono kakhulu. Lesi yisibonelo esisodwa nje sokuthi ukubuyela emuva okuncane kungicindezele kanjani empumelelweni.

Manje ngawe, kungahle ukuthi uphume eGaga noma ushiye i-Alpine Tower njengoba usuzofika phezulu. Akunandaba ukuthi hlobo luni lokwehluleka, noma ngabe isimo sinjani, funda kokungahambanga kahle, futhi ekugcineni, uzoyibona imigomo yakho.

Iphuzu lami ngazo zonke lezi zibonelo ukuqinisekisa ukuthi nonke niyazi ukuthi ukwehluleka ukuya phambili kuyadingeka ekukhuleni komuntu siqu.

Ngizokuxoxela enye indaba. Cishe ezinyangeni ezimbili ezedlule, ngangidlala isisekelo sesithathu emdlalweni we-baseball. I-batter ishaye ibhola lomhlabathi onzima kimi, kuthathe i-hop embi ngaleso sikhathi, i-BOOM. Ngibheke isibhakabhaka ngegazi ebusweni bami nasezandleni zami. Lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho bekungekhona ukwehluleka kepha ulwazi oluningi lokufunda olungifundise ukugcina isandla sami sokudla sihlala siphezulu ngenkathi ngithatha amabhola aphansi.

Kodwa-ke, ulwazi lokufunda akudingeki ukuthi lushaywe ngaso sonke isikhathi nge-baseball. Kungaba kuncane njengokusho into engafanele ngesikhathi esingalungile nokuthi lokho okushilo konakalise ubudlelwano obenabo nalowo muntu.

I-Newsflash, ukwehluleka phambili kuyindlela okufanele yenziwe. Akunandaba ukuthi kwenzekani noma yiliphi ibanga olitholayo noma iziphi izingqinamba onazo, hlala wazi ukuthi abaholi baba ngabaholi abakhulu ekuhlulekeni nasemaphutheni.

Manje kini, nginenselelo, ngifuna ukuthi nonke nifunde kusuka ephutheni kuleli sonto elizayo futhi nikhumbule ukwehluleka ukuya phambili.

Vele izingane nazo ziyafunda ukubekezela emakhaya. U-Lizzy Francis, esihlokweni sakhe esithi “Izingane Ezikhuthazayo Zivela Kubazali Abenza Lezi Zinto Ezi-8,” uthi, “Uma useyingane, konke kuyinhlekelele. Ushizi wakho owosiwe une-crust on? Okuthusayo. Ayikwazi ukuhlanganisa leyo Lego esethiwe? Kungenzeka futhi unyathele phezulu naphansi. Awukwazi ukukushintsha lokhu. Ongakwenza, noma kunjalo, hlomisa ingane yakho ngamasu ayifundisa ukuthi bangabuyela kanjani emizabalazweni yabo yansuku zonke ukuze, kamuva empilweni, lapho izigxobo seziphezulu, bazi ukuthi benzeni ”(UFrancis, 2018) . Ngokusho kukaFrancis, abazali bezingane eziqinile benza izinto eziyisishiyagalombili ezilandelayo. Bona:

1. Vumela izingane zilwe
2. Vumela izingane zabo zithole ukwenqatshwa
3. Ungavumeli ukucabanga kwesisulu
4. Yenza okungaphezu nje kokubatshela ukuthi "bakhuphuke" lapho kunezinkinga
5. Siza izingane zabo zifunde ukuthi zingabhala kanjani imizwa nemizwa yazo
6. Nikeza izingane zabo amathuluzi okuzithambisa
7. Vuma amaphutha abo. Futhi-ke bayazilungisa
8. Hlala uxhumanisa ukuzihlonipha kwengane yabo ezingeni labo lomzamo

Mhlawumbe akumangazi ukuthi kulesi sikhathi sobhadane, ukuqina kuye kwaba nomthelela omkhulu. Imininingwane emisha evela kuCentre for Adolescent Research and Education (CARE) neTotal Brain iveza ukuthi abafundi bezikole eziphakeme nabasekolishi bathola amaphuzu angaphansi kwe-50th percentile ngokuzithiba futhi, ikakhulukazi, ukuqina.

Lokho kwenza izindima zamakamu asehlobo nabazali kubaluleke kakhulu ... futhi kuphuthume.

Ngokubambisana, asidingi ukuhlenga izingane zethu kepha kunalokho sizisize zizenze zilungele izwe elizayo, nazo zonke izinselelo zalo nokungaqiniseki kwalo.

UBenard, B. (2021). Izisekelo zohlaka lokuqina. Ukuqina Kusebenza. https://www.resiliency.com/free-articles-resource/the-foundations-of-the-resiliency-framework/ (18 Jan. 2021).

UBenard, B. (1991). Ukukhuthaza Ukuqina Ezinganeni: Izinto Zokuzivikela Emndenini, Esikoleni, nasemphakathini. IPortland, NOMA: Isikhungo saseNtshonalanga Sezikole Nemiphakathi Engekho Izidakamizwa.

UFrancis, L. (2018). Izingane ezinesibindi zivela kubazali abenza lezi zinto eziyi-8. Obaba. Novemba 26, 2018. https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/build-resilient-kids-prepared-for-life/ (18 Jan. 2021).

UKeates, N. (2021). Ngaphandle kwezingozi zokuqubuka kweCovid-19, amakamu ehlobo agcwaliswa ngokushesha. I-Wall Street Journal. Januwari 12, 2021. https://www.wsj.com/articles/despite-covid-19-outbreak-risks-summer-camps-are-filling-up-quickly-11610470954 (18 Jan. 2021).

Abasebenzi baseMayo Clinic. (2020). Ukuqina: yakha amakhono okukhuthazelela ubunzima. Okthoba 27, 2020. https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/resilience-training/in-depth/resilience/art-20046311 (18 Jan. 2021).

Ungar, M. (2012). Amakamu asiza ukwenza izingane zikwazi ukubekezela. Ikhempu Magazine. Septhemba / Okthoba 2012. https://www.acacamps.org/resource-library/camping-magazine/camps-help-make-children-resilient (18 Jan. 2021).