Ubuciko Bokuthobeka

Ekuboneni kokuqala, umyalo wokuba uthobeke awuzwakali uheha kakhulu. Kubonakala kungqubuzana nokuqina kwethu kwamanje kokuzethemba nokuzethemba, nokuphikisana neseluleko esikuyo yonke indawo sokuthuthuka komuntu okufanele sibungaze impumelelo yethu futhi siziqhenye ngathi. Kodwa ukuthobeka akusho ukuthobeka, futhi akulingani nobuthakathaka. Eqinisweni, lobu buhle basendulo abuhlangene nakancane nokwamukela ukucabanga okuzenzela noma kokuzithoba komnyango wethe doat futhi akumele kwenziwe iphutha ngokuzenyeza okuphansi. Esikhundleni salokho, ukuthobeka uhlobo lwesizotha ngokomoya olubangelwa ukuqonda indawo yethu ngokulandelana kwezinto.

Singakuzijwayeza ukuthatha isinyathelo emuva emuva ezifisweni zethu kanye nokwesaba, futhi ngokubheka ngaphandle kulelozwe elikhulukazi esiyingxenye yalo. Kuhlobene nokushintsha umbono wethu nokubona ukubaluleka kwethu okulinganiselwe kulesosithombe esikhulu. Kusho ukuphuma ebholeni lethu futhi siziqonde njengamalungu omphakathi, umzuzu othile womlando, noma ngisho nohlobo olunamaphutha amakhulu. Ekugcineni, njengoba uSocrates ayazi kahle, kuhlobene nokwazi ukuthi kungakanani esingazi nokwazisa izindawo zethu eziyimpumputhe.

Yingakho sonke kufanele sikhathalele ukuthobeka:

1. Ababhali abaningi, basendulo nabamanje, baye bazindla ngokuthobeka, kuhlanganise noConfucius. Isazi sefilosofi sasendulo saseChina sasikholelwa ukuthi ukwazi indawo yethu emhlabeni omkhulu wezenhlalo, kanye nokulalela amasiko nezenhlalo, kwakuyindlela yokwelapha ububi besikhathi sakhe. Ngefilosofi yakhe, izidingo zethu kanye nezifiso zethu zihlala zisekela kulokho okubonakala kungcono kakhulu emphakathini wonkana. Isimo sokuthobeka sikaConfucian sisebenza ngokujule kakhulu emoyeni, sibheka inzuzo yezenhlalo kakhulu ukwedlula ukwaneliseka kwezifiso zethu nezifiso zethu. Kuleli fomu, ukuthobeka kungakhulisa kakhulu ubumbano lomphakathi kanye nomuzwa wethu wokuba yilungu.
2. Ukuthobeka nakho kuyigugu eliwumgogodla ebuKristwini, lapho kuthatha khona isimo sokuzidela nokuzithoba entandweni kaNkulunkulu. Ngenkathi uhlobo lobuKristu lokuthobeka - oluhambisana, njengoba kunjalo, nokuzizwa unecala, amahloni, isono, nokuzincisha - lungahle lungabi yilolu thando lwawo wonke umuntu, kusekhona okuthile okubalulekile okufanele kufundwe kwizazi zenkolo. Zisifundisa ukuthi sigweme ukuqhosha nokuziqhenya, ukuzibona siyingxenye yezinhlobo zezilwane ezingaphelele ngokuphelele, nokuzikhumbuza ngeqhaza elilinganiselwe ngamunye wethu okufanele alibambe ekuphelelweni kwesintu sonke.
3. Sonke kuningi esisazokufunda, hhayi kuphela komunye nomunye kodwa nakwezinye izinhlobo zezinto eziphilayo. Uma singaphila njengezitshalo, ngokwesibonelo, singathola ukuthi singaphila kanjani ngokuvumelana nemvelo futhi singafuni ukuxhaphaza izinsiza zayo ngokunganaki. Izilwane, futhi, zingaba abafundisi abahlakaniphile. Ukube besingaphila njengamakati - iZen-masters konke - singafunda ukuthola inhlalakahle nokuzinakekela ngokwethu ngokusebenza okungapheli, futhi siyeke ukulwela kwethu okungenamqondo ukunakwa nokwamukelwa. Uma singaphila njengezimpisi, singafunda isifundo noma ezimbili mayelana nokufunda, ukwethembeka, nokubaluleka kokudlala. (Bheka uPinkola-Estes 1992 noRadinger 2017.)
4. Ukuthobeka kumayelana nokuvuma ukushiyeka kwethu nokufuna ukukunqoba. Kumayelana nokulungela ukufunda izindlela ezinhle kakhulu kwabanye. Ukuthobeka kufaka ukufundiseka, umqondo ohlanganisa ukuzilungisa njalo nokuzithuthukisa. Akuyona nje ubuhle basendulo obunomlando omude futhi ocebile, kepha futhi kuyisici esihlukile sokusebenza kwengqondo. Njengoba uDavid Robson (2020) ekhombisile, ucwaningo lwakamuva lwengqondo luye lwafakazela ukuthi abathobeke kakhulu phakathi kwethu banezinzuzo eziningi. Isimo sengqondo esithobekile sinemiphumela emihle emakhonweni ethu okuqonda, okusebenzelana nabanye, nawokwenza izinqumo. Abantu abathobekile bafunda kangcono futhi babaxazulula izinkinga. Abafundi abathobekile abavulele izimpendulo ngokweqiniso bavame ukudlula ontanga abanethalente ngokwemvelo abacabanga kakhulu ngamakhono abo abenqaba zonke izeluleko. Ezinye izifundo zithole ukuthi ukuthobeka kubaluleke kakhulu njengenkomba yokusebenza eqagelayo kune-IQ. (UBradley P. Owens et al., 2013; noKrumrei-Manusco et al., 2019) Ukuthobeka kubaholi bethu, ngaphezu kwalokho, kukhuthaza ukuthembana, ukuzibandakanya, ukucabanga ngamasu okusungula, futhi ngokuvamile kukhulisa ukusebenza. (Rego et al., 2017; Ou et al., 2020; UCojuharenco noKarelaia 2020.)
5. Ukuthobeka ngakho-ke kubalulekile ekhonweni lethu lokufunda kanye nemfuneko ebalulekile yokuzithuthukisa. Ngoba uma singeke sivume ukuthi kunezikhala olwazini lwethu noma amaphutha esimilweni sethu, asisoze sakwazi ukuthatha izinyathelo ezidingekayo zokubhekana nazo.
6. Okokugcina, ukuthobeka futhi kuyindlela kuphela yokulwa nekhambi le-narcissism. Ezimweni eziningi i-bane evelele kule minyaka yethu, i-narcissism iyinselelo okufanele sibhekane nayo kokubili ezingeni lomuntu nasezingeni elibanzi lomphakathi. (Twenge 2013) Ukuthobeka kungaba yindlela yokulungisa amasiko ekuzihlolweni kwethu okuyinkinga kokuzethemba nokuzethemba, okuyinani elikhulayo lezazi zokusebenza kwengqondo elikubheka ngokugxeka kakhulu. (URicard 2015)

Zonke izinto ezicatshangwayo-ke, kubonakala sengathi ukuvuselela ubuciko basendulo bokuthobeka kuyisidingo esiphuthumayo. Empeleni, ukuthobeka ukulungela ukuvuma emaphutheni ethu ahambisana nokuzimisela ukufunda, kungaba lokho kubantu, kwamanye amasiko, okwedlule, ezilwaneni, noma ezitshalweni - noma ngubani ophethe okuthile thina esingakwenzi. Amathuba awapheli.