Uhambo Losizi

Ukubuyekezwa kwe- Usizi Luhambo: Ukuthola Indlela Yakho Ngokulahlekelwa . NguDkt. Kenneth J. Doka. Izincwadi ze-Atria. 304 amakhasi. $ 26.

Akungabazeki ukuthi sonke siyoba nesikhathi sokudabuka. Sibuhlungu lapho kushona othandekayo, lapho sihlukanisa, sikhubazeka, siphelelwa umsebenzi, sihlukana nomuntu esithandana naye, siphuphunyelwa yisisu. Ukudabuka kungaba buhlungu, ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo. Kepha futhi kungazuzisa. Njengoba siphila nokulahlekelwa, uKenneth Doka uyasikhumbuza, singakhula futhi sibe nosizi.

Ku- Usizi Luhambo , UDkt. Doka, onguprofesa weGerontology eSikoleni Esithweswe Iziqu eKolishi laseNew Rochelle, ungqongqoshe ogcotshiwe kaLuther, kanye nomhleli we U-Omega: Ijenali Yokufa Nokufa , inikeza umbono wobubele wokushonelwa njengohambo lokuphila konke. UDoka uhlola “imisebenzi yosizi” emihlanu: ukuvuma ukulahlekelwa; ukubhekana nobuhlungu; ukuphatha ushintsho; ukugcina izibopho; nokwakha kabusha ukholo kanye / noma ifilosofi. Ngenxa yokuthi umuntu ngamunye uhlukile, uDoka ugcizelela, “ayikho indlela eyodwa efanele yokuzwa usizi. Futhi nosizi alunaso isikhathi. ”

Iseluleko sikaDoka sincike kakhulu emsebenzini wakhe wokuba ngumeluleki wokushonelwa. Iningi lalo - "gwema ukujikijela labo abaseduze kwakho, ukuxosha abanye, ukukhawulela ukwesekwa" - kuyavumelana. Futhi, kwesinye isikhathi, ithisisi kaDoka ephindaphindwa kaningi (ayikho usayizi ofanele-yonke indlela yokudabuka) isempini nokwakhiwa kwencwadi yakhe. Uyabhala: "Awukwazi ukuqhathanisa ukulahlekelwa kwakho nokulahlekelwa abanye, noma ukusabela kwakho noma izimpendulo zakho nakwabanye." Ngemuva kokuhlola okwenzeka kumakhasimende akhe amaningi, uDoka uphakamisa ukuthi "ukuqonda ezinye izindlela zokubhekana nakho kungakuvumela ukuthi ubhekane nokulahlekelwa futhi ukhule kukho."

Futhi, mhlawumbe ngokungenakugwenywa, "ekubhukeni," ukuzimisela kukaDoka ukungafuni ukwahlulela (akakwazi ukuziletha ngokweluleka ngokufuna izangoma) kuyaphela. Eveza imizwa, uphakamisa (ecaphuna isaga sesiShayina), “kuholela ebuhlungwini besikhashana nasekwedleni kwesikhathi eside; ukucindezela kuholela ekukhululekeni kwesikhashana nobuhlungu besikhathi eside. ”

Ngokujabulisayo, izincomo eziningi ku Usizi Luhambo ziwusizo impela. UDoka weluleka abantu abanquma ukuthi bazobeka yini umzali noma ugogo noma ugogo noma umkhulu ogulayo noma okhubazekile ekhaya lokunakekelwa ukuze babhekane “nosizi abalindele” ngokukhombisa ngokusobala izimo lapho kungaba nzima kakhulu ukuqhubeka nokunakekelwa kwasekhaya. Ngokwakha iphupho elibonakalayo, eliqukethe izinto ezifanekisela ukulahleka (umbhede ongenalutho, ibhishi eliyintandokazi), kukhombisa uDoka, abalilayo bangaxhumana nemizwa futhi babone izingqinamba ezingasonjululwanga. Usikisela ukuthi labo abashonelwe abashade nabo noma ingane bacabangele ukucela usizo ngaphambi kokunquma ukuthi bazoyilahla nini futhi nini “izinto zosizi” (izingubo, amathoyizi, ama-tackle box). UDoka weluleka abasosizini ukuthi bahlele amaholidi, okungaba yingcindezi, kunokuba banikeze izinqumo kwabanye abanezinhloso ezinhle. Futhi abalilayo, uyabhala, bangakha "amasiko ahlukile," kusuka enkonzweni yesikhumbuzo yokuhlalisa abasosizini labo ibanga noma indima evimbela ukuya emngcwabeni, emcimbini waminyaka yonke wokuqongelela imali yokusiza egameni lomuntu oshonile.

Okubaluleke kakhulu, uDoka, owethula umqondo “wosizi olungasenamalungelo” ngo-1989, usikhumbuza ukuthi okunye ukulahlekelwa - ukufa kowayengumyeni noma isithandwa sezitabane; ingane yakini eboshiwe; ukungazali okuqhubekayo; ukulahleka kokholo lwenkolo - akuvamile ukubonwa noma ukusekelwa abanye. Abantu abanosizi olungasetshenzisiwe, uyagcizelela, bavame ukuhlupheka buthule, futhi banomongo omncane noma abanawo nhlobo ukuqonda noma ukucubungula ukusabela kwabo.

Usizi, uDoka uyaphinda, "akusho kakhulu ngokufa kepha kumayelana nokulahlekelwa." Ucela abafundi bakhe ukuba bathole induduzo, njengoba enayo, ngokubona uzakwabo ongasekho, uRichard Kalish: “Noma yini onayo ungalahlekelwa yiyo; noma yini onamathele kuyo, ungahlukaniswa nayo; noma yini oyithandayo ingasuswa kuwe. Kodwa-ke uma ungalahlekelwa lutho, awunalutho. ”

Okungcono kakhulu, uDkt. Doka uyanezela, abalilayo bazobheka emuva bagubhe uhambo lwempilo yabo, olwavela njengoba lwenzeka ngoba baphendula ngezindlela ezinempilo ekulahlekelweni abakutholile.