Ukwelashwa Kokubhala

Ukwelashwa Kokubhala yisihloko sencwadi ebhalwe ososayensi abafunda ngamandla okuphulukisa okubhala okucacile - uhlobo lokubhala ongalusebenzisela iphephabhuku langasese, lapho uchaza khona okwenzeka kuwe futhi uveze imizwa yakho.

Kukho konke ukungenelela kwezempilo yengqondo, ukugcina iphephabhuku kungenye yezintandokazi zami. Hhayi ngoba ngithanda ukubhala uqobo lwami, kepha futhi ngoba kulula njengoba kungazwakala (hlala phansi ubhale ngosuku lwakho), ihlanganisa izinto zokwelapha ezinamandla kakhulu. Ake sibheke ukuthi yiziphi lezo.

Ngoba kufanele sibeke izinto ngamagama, ukubhala kuthuthukisa ukwazi kangcono imizwa yethu. Lapho sifuna amagama alungile okuchaza okusezingqondweni zethu, siyaphoqeleka ukuthi sihlole ikhwalithi yokuhlangenwe nakho kwethu futhi uma siqhubeka nokwenza lokhu usuku nosuku, singaqala ukubona amaphethini ekuphenduleni kwethu nasemicabangweni yethu. Lokhu kusiza kakhulu ngoba kusinikeza ukuqonda okungcono kwethu, okungenye yezithako ezibalulekile zenhlalakahle nokukhula komuntu siqu.

Lapho sibhala ngemizwa yethu, ngaleyo ndlela siyiveza futhi lokhu kukodwa kungaba nomthelela wokwelapha. Imizwa engachazwanga noma ngisho ecindezelwe inobuthi. Ukucindezela imizwa kwandisa ukululama ezenzakalweni ezihlukumezayo futhi kuthinte kabi impilo yethu yomzimba (IGross & Levenson, 1997). Kodwa-ke, eminye yemizwelo esihamba nayo ingazizwa iyimfihlo kakhulu kangangokuthi asikwazi ukuziletha ukuze sabelane ngayo nanoma ubani. Ukubhala ephephabhukwini eliyimfihlo kungaba yindawo edingekayo.

Uma sibhala ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwethu nokuphendula kwethu, kusinikeza nethuba lokuzindla ngokujulile ngokwenzekile futhi kwesinye isikhathi sibone izehlakalo ngokuhlukile, hhayi ngendlela esazibona ngayo ekuqaleni. Izinto ziba mnyama kancane futhi zibe mhlophe futhi, uma konke sekuphambi kwethu, singabuye sibuze okunye kokuzikhulumela okuzenzakalelayo okuzenzakalelayo ("Mhlawumbe, leli bekungelona iphutha lami. Mhlawumbe, bekungelona iphutha lomuntu") .

Bese kuba nobuciko nokweneliseka ngenkulumo yakho yobuciko. Ukwaneliseka okuza nokukwazi ukuthatha into eshintshashintshayo futhi edlulayo njengemizwa, ukuyiguqula ibe ngamagama, ukuyihlele ibe yizigaba, uyihlele ngombhalo. Akwenzeki njalo uma ubhala, kepha uma kwenzeka, kufana nokubamba uvemvane ngezandla zakho. (Futhi uma unekhono ngokwanele, uvemvane luzobe lusaphila.)

Kubumfihlo bejenali yakho, ungenza noma yini oyifunayo - akekho oyifundayo ngaphandle kokuthi ukhethe ukubavumela. Ungasho noma yini oyifunayo noma ngabe uyifuna kanjani. Uthola izindlela ezintsha zokukhuluma ongakaze uzame ngaphambili. Uthola elinye izwi. Okokuqala, kungazwakala kungajwayelekile futhi kungajwayelekile, kufana nokuthi uzizwele kuwe ku-tape. Kepha-ke leli zwi liyaqina futhi lizethembe ngokwengeziwe kuze kube yilapho uthola ukuthi lokho okuzwayo empeleni kuyizwi lomuntu uqobo lwakho.

Lapho ubuyela emuva futhi ufunda okutlolile esikhathini esedlule, kukusiza ukuthi ubone ukuthi empeleni impilo yakho icebe kangakanani. Ungathola ukuthi kunombala nokuhlukahluka okuningi empilweni yakho kunalokho obukucabanga. Uyabona ukuthi usendleleni, akukho okumiyo. Ungafunda ngekhwalithi yomgwaqo okuwo nejubane ohamba ngalo. Mhlawumbe owakho umgwaqo omncane futhi onamajika osentabeni. Mhlawumbe ngumgwaqo omkhulu oqondile. Ukubhala ngakho kufana nokuphuma emotweni uyophefumula umoya ohlanzekile, welule, ukha izimbali ezinothuli ezikhula eceleni kwendlela.

Ungase uzibuze, "Yini okufanele ngibhale ngayo?" Qiniseka, uma uhlala phansi bese uqala ukubhala noma yini efika engqondweni, indaba izovela.

ILepore, S. J., & Smyth, J. M. (2002). Ukwelashwa Kokubhala: Ukuthi Ukubhala Ngokucacile Kukhuthaza Kanjani Impilo Nenhliziyo Engokomzwelo. IWashington, DC: I-American Psychological Association.