Amathiphu Okunqoba Ukuzinqumela

-Delile

• Amaphuzu abalulekile
• Ungaba Ncono Kanjani Ekwenzeni Izinqumo

Amaphuzu abalulekile

• I-indecision isho lapho abantu bebambezeleka ukwenza izinqumo ezibalulekile nezicindezelayo noma ukukhathazeka ngokweqile ngezinketho ezimbalwa.
• Amanye amasu okubhekana nokuzinqikaza afaka phakathi ukwenza uhlelo lomsebenzi wokuthatha izinqumo nokuqapha ukukhuluma komuntu lapho ethatha izinqumo.
• Kungasiza ukukhawulela inani lezinketho ezicatshangelwayo, ulinganise ubuhle nobubi benketho ngayinye, ubeke eceleni isikhathi sokucabanga ngezinketho zakho, bese uqhubekela phambili.

Eposini lami lokugcina, ngamema engangisebenza naye ocwaningweni kanye nomngani wami uReza Feyzi Behnagh, umsizi kaprofesa wezeMfundo e-SUNY, e-Albany, ukuthi bazobhala ngokubambisana mayelana nokuthi yikuphi ukuzinqumela (okubizwa nangokuthi ekucwaningweni kwengqondo, "ukuhlehlisa isinqumo") futhi akuxoxwa ngakho izimbangela zayo nemiphumela.

Kulokhu okuthunyelwe, siqhubeka lapho sigcine khona futhi sethula ezinye izindlela "eziqhutshwa yidatha" zokwehlisa isinqumo. I-Indecision ibhekisa lapho abantu bevame ukubambezeleka ukwenza izinqumo ezibalulekile nezicindezelayo, bakhathalela ukukhetha okumbalwa kuphela, futhi bagcine ngokungathathi isinqumo noma benze okukodwa bese basola izinto ezingaphandle uma isinqumo sabo siholela emiphumeleni engemihle. Kule ncazelo, ukungazami kuzwakala njengokuziphatha okwehlula wena, kanti ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi kunjalo (bheka uFerrari, 2010, noFerrari, Johnson & McCown, 1995, kuzo zombili izixazululo ezisebenzayo nokuqonda kwesayensi, ngokulandelana). Uma ufisa ukwazi ukuthi yini ongayenza ukuze unciphise ukuzinqumela futhi ube ngcono ekusingatheni izimo ezithatha izinqumo ezithwele ingcindezi, usendaweni efanele. Lapha, sinikela ngezindlela ezimbalwa "zokungenelela kokunquma isinqumo": Sizama ukukuthola ukuthi uthathe isinqumo , bese wenza .

Ungaba Ncono Kanjani Ekwenzeni Izinqumo

Yenza uhlelo. Njengoba ukhumbula kokuthunyelwe kokugcina, abantu abanqikayo bazindela ngokuziphatha ekuthatheni izinqumo ezibalulekile (Ferrari, 2010). Abaphenyi bathole ukuthi ukuhlela uhlelo olwenziwayo, olubambekayo, lwesikhashana, kanye nezinyathelo zomsebenzi wokuthatha izinqumo kunciphisa kakhulu ukuhlehlisa izinto futhi kuthuthukisa impumelelo (“Ngizosebenzisa amahora amahlanu kusasa ukunquma ukuthi ngenzeni imoto yami endala ”), kunokucabanga nokuhlela ngokungacabangi ukwenza leso sinqumo esikhathini esithile esizayo (“ Ngizofika kuso uma isikhathi sifika ”) (McCrea, Liberman, Trope, & Sherman, 2009).

Qapha ukukhuluma kwakho. Enye yezimbangela ezibalulekile zokunqikaza ukuzethemba okuphansi nokuba nemicabango engemihle nokuzigxeka, ukungabaza amandla akho. Njengakho konke okunye empilweni, siba ngcono ngokuzijwayeza nokuqala okuncane, senze izinqumo ezincane, futhi ngokuqaphela nangamabomu imiphumela emihle iyasiza ekwakheni ukuzethemba, ukukhuthaza umuzwa wokuzikhandla, nokulindela impumelelo. Ukuqapha nokulalela imicabango yomuntu nokuzingabaza ngenkathi ukwenza izinqumo kubaluleke ngokufanayo. Ucwaningo luphakamisa ukuthi ukusebenzisa ukuzikhulumela kwangaphakathi kungasiza ekuphikiseni imizwa esethusayo nezinkolelo ezingenangqondo ezihlula lowo muntu lapho ecabanga ukuthatha isinqumo esinengcindezi (ISchouwenburg, Lay, Pychyl, & Ferrari, 2004).

Nciphisa izinqumo zakho. Esinye isincomo esivela ocwaningweni njengokungenelela kokunquma ukukhawulela izinketho zakho. Ukugcwala ngokweqile kokukhetha kungasihlula kalula futhi kwenze kube nzima kakhulu ukuqala ukucabanga ngezinketho ezitholakalayo. Uma inketho ingasondele ngisho nokuhlangabezana nezidingo zakho, kususe manje. Musa ukuchitha isikhathi u-Googling yonke imininingwane ngakho. Okulandelayo, bhala imicabango yakho: Njengoba sincome ekuqaleni, lalela ukukhuluma kwakho kwangaphakathi. Uzitshelani lapho kufanele unqume phakathi kwezindlela ezahlukahlukene eziheha ngokulinganayo? Ngabe ingqondo yakho igcwala “kuthiwani ukube” ngokukhetha enye indlela ulahlekelwe yilokho obekuzokwenzeka ukube ubukhethe enye? Ukuzazi wena le micabango kuyisinyathelo sokuqala esibalulekile ekuyiguquleni (ngokuzikhulumela okuhle).

Yenza izibalo. Khipha incwajana endala bese ubala ubuhle nobubi benketho ngayinye bese ucabanga ukuthi yini oyazisa kakhulu. Leli thuluzi lisebenza njengesikhumbuzo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi uma uke wangabaza ukukhetha kwakho ngokuzayo, futhi ungalibuyekeza ukuze ukhumbule ukuthi kungani uthathe isinqumo osithathile futhi uvikele ikusasa lakho ekuzisoleni nasekubuzeni zonke izinhlobo zokuthi “uma ngabe.” Kodwa qaphela Kwesinye isikhathi, ububi bethu (noma ubuhle) busho okuningi kithi kunobuhle (noma ububi), ngakho-ke cabanga inani lomuntu siqu lezinto ozibhalayo.

Thatha isikhathi sakho. Leli thuluzi lingabonakala lixaka, kepha yenza isikhathi esanele sokuthatha isinqumo, kepha ungami! Hlanganisa lonke ulwazi oludingayo ukuze uthathe isinqumo unolwazi, hlela isikhathi esanele ngaphambi kokucabangisisa ngokucophelela ngezinketho. (Lesi siphakamiso sisekela isimangalo sethu, ukuthi ukuhlehlisa hhayi ukubambezeleka noma ukulinda - ngoba uma uqoqa imininingwane yokwenza futhi uthathe isinqumo sokuthi ukhona hhayi ukuzindela.) Kulula kakhulu ukugwema, ukubeka itafula, nokubuka i-Netflix bese udla ama-popcorn esikhundleni salokho; kepha izinqumo ezinzima zidinga ukwenziwa futhi ukuzigwema kuzomane kubeke ukuzethemba kwakho.

Qhubeka uye phambili. Okokugcina, ungabheki emuva! Uma usuthathe isinqumo, qhubeka uye phambili. Amakhanda ethu awakhelwanga ukubuyela emuva ngawo wonke ama-degree angama-180 emuva: Senzelwe ukuqhubekela phambili ... sinqume futhi siqhubekele phambili ngaphandle kokubheka emuva.

Isikhumbuzo ngokungabheki emuva, kithina, yilesi sicaphuno somculo wango-1972, Umuntu waseLa Mancha , lapho uDon Quixote asho khona ekhuluma yedwa njengeqhawe ngaphambi kokuba aye empini: “Bheka phambili njalo: esidlekeni sangonyaka odlule azikho izinyoni kulo nyaka.” Siya phambili, asikwazi ukubuyela kokudlule njengoba isikhathi sihamba saya ohlangothini olulodwa Izinyoni azibuyeli esidlekeni esifanayo, nathi akufanele sibuyele esidlekeni esisodwa.

Isifinyezo: Manje?

Kafushane, nquma wenze . Ingabe uzohluleka? Hhayi, mhlawumbe - kepha manje? Ngabe umhlaba waphela? Ngabe othile "wabulawa"? Cishe, cha. Senziwe izidalwa ezihlulekayo, kepha siyizidalwa ezivela ekuhlulekeni futhi ziqhubekele phambili. Thatha isinqumo, bese ukhuluma - yenza - ongakwenza. Siyethemba ukuthi lokhu kuyasiza. Phila, ngokususelwa kusayensi.