Ukuvakashela Uthando Lwami Lokuqala Nomyeni Wami kuTow

Kwakungewona wonke ama-rose.

Ngaleso sindiso kwafika ukwesaba. Ekhefini lokuqala ehlobo, ngathola ukuthi ngikhulelwe, futhi ukukhipha isisu ngokungemthetho u-H okwakuhleliwe phesheya kwatholwa ngabazali bami, abamisa ukufisa ngokugcizelela ukuthi ngizomyeka unyaka wonke. Ehlobo lesibili, ukuvinjelwa kungakapheli, ngaya esikhungweni samasosha ekolishi lami eFrance, lapho uH ahlangana nami ngasese endaweni yakhe entsha, ebomvu, futhi sahamba. Ngazama izinwele zami ezinde esikhawini se-houndstooth futhi ngazizwa njengo-Audrey Hepburn.

Konke ukuthandana kwethu kwakubonakala njengebhayisikobho — futhi kwakwakhiwe ngendlela engafanele. Mina no-H santanta phezu kwefu lokudumisa ngokujabula. Asikaze sixoxe ngemindeni yethu, ngezifundo zethu, nekusasa. Ngafunda isiFulentshi nesiNtaliyane, angikaze nakanye ngicabange isiJalimane. Uma ezothando zazinosuku lokuphelelwa yisikhathi olusobala, sasikushaya indiva. Lapho-ke, yize ngangikhathazekile kukho konke ukwahlukana kwethu ngenkani, lapho uH ebuyela eJalimane kahle, ngangikahle. Kwakungathi uchungechunge lwe-TV oluluthayo seluphelile. Eqinisweni, ngicindezele konke ukukhumbula ukuhamba kwakhe. Saze savalelisana?

Eminyakeni emithathu kamuva, ngawa ngamakhanda ngenxa kaMichael, owayemuhle, waseNew Yorker ongumJuda owabelana nazo zonke izinto engangizithanda. Abazali bami, ngaleso sikhathi engangingenandaba nokuhlukumeza, baphuma ngaphandle.

Kodwa-ke, impilo yonke noMichael — yezinjabulo esazinqoba nezingqinamba esazinqoba, zomndeni owakhelwe kanye nezifundo esizifundile, ngezinkanuko ezihlangene kanye nezinkumbulo ezihlanganisiwe — kwehlulekile ukukhipha uH esimisweni sami sezinzwa.

Ngemuva kokuthula amashumi eminyaka, ukumbiza bekungelula, kepha isikhathi aphendula ngaso besikagesi. Ngaso leso sikhathi, ngangineminyaka engu-19, ngizwa amandla aphelele alabo bafiso bakudala. Indlela akhuluma ngayo, eyasetshenziswa esikhathini esidlule, yenza inhliziyo yami yashaya ngamandla — nendlela alisho ngayo igama lami, “Leez.” Sithathe lapho besigcine khona futhi kungenzeka ukuthi sasikumafoni we-dorm. Ngasikhathi sinye, ngahlala ngibhekile ngineminyaka engama-65 ubudala, ngizwa izwi okwathi, ngemuva kwekhulu leminyaka lokubhema, lazwakala ukuthi lineminyaka yobudala.

Ukumvakashela kwakusho ukuchezukela eMunich, kepha uMichael wayejabule ukungithokozisa futhi efuna ukwazi nami. Lapho ukuhlangana kusondela, ukukhathazeka kwami ​​kwakhula. Bengisho ukuthini kuye? Ingabe wayezongibona? Ngabe ngingahlehliswa yimizwa yakudala?

Lapho ngishayela ucingo ngiqinisekisa ikheli lakhe, ngobusuku obandulela usuku lwethu, uH nomkakhe babesembhedeni; aphendule amdlulisele ucingo. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ngiphuphe sobane sasilele ndawonye, ​​mina noH singaphandle, sikhuluma omunye nomunye ngabalingani bethu abalele. Kwathi kungazelelwe iphupho lashintsha, futhi ngangifuna inja yami elahlekile, uBaby, uswazi lwethu lwamanje. “Ingane! Ingane! ” Ngakhala ngokudinwa, ngigcwele usizi — ukuqonda kwami ​​kokuqala ngosizi ngenxa yokukhipha kwami ​​isisu kudala.

Usuku lufika.

Ngakusasa kusihlwa, mina noMichael sahamba netekisi saya kwa-H, lapho umkakhe othandekayo asibingelela khona emnyango nendodakazi yabo encane, eneminyaka engama-23 ubudala, owayemdala kunami ngesikhathi ngigcina ukubona ubaba wakhe. Futhi-ke, wayekhona, ekhanyiswe ilanga lishona futhi ngokufana nje: wayesemuhle futhi emuhle, emuhle kimi eminyakeni yakhe yama-60 njengoba ayekade esemusha, umfana omncane esabonakala ebusweni manje obunamadwala amaningi.

Angizange ngiphuphe ukuthandana kwethu: sasihlala endaweni efanayo ebhange lememori elidala lothando lomunye nomunye. Sasizodlula nje ku-hellos, lapho engikhombisa iketanga legolide engangilinikeze ukuthi wayesaligqoka. Wamukela uMichael, wathela i-champagne, wagijimela ukusikhombisa impilo yakhe: indlu ayeyakhile, umtapo wolwazi wakhe owakhiwa kabusha wasekolishi, isithombe sakhe sizungezwe ngumkakhe namadodakazi akhe akhazimulayo. Kwakunomqondo wokupela, njengokuthola inoveli ehehayo engangiyibeke ngephutha futhi ngifunda ngejubane ngamaphuzu aphezulu.

Sobathathu sathuthela endaweni yokudlela eseduze, lapho ngabona khona ngokushesha ukuthi angidonselwanga nje ukwenqatshelwa kwakhe kepha nangomoya wakhe onothando nokwazisa ngami! Ngesikhathi sedina wacela imvume kaMichael yokubamba isandla sami wangitshela kaningi ukuthi ngimuhle. Ekuphakameni kokungazethembi kwentsha, u-Ernst wayenginike isipho sokungibona ngendlela ebengifisa ngayo ukubonwa.

Ngokumangazayo, ngazizwa ngikhululekile ukumbuza noma yini ngokuphelele. Yize ngingazi lutho ngempilo yakhe yonke yokuba mdala, ngisazizwa ngimqonda kahle. Futhi angicabangi ukuthi bekuyiphupho. Sasazana ngokuseduze njengoba sasisesikhathini esikhethekile esiphakeme, inguqulo ye-chrysalis yethu eyayiphethe ukushicilelwa kwethu kanye nekusasa lethu.

Okungahle kube yingakho kungekho engikufundile esidlweni sakusihlwa kubonakala kumangalisa. Unkosikazi ka-Ernst umgcina ephila yize ebephila ngokushesha, esho. Ngenkathi mina noMichael sizula iminyuziyamu, uya emaphathini eRiviera. Ukube besingazange sibe ngabathandi bentsha, besingeke sibe abangane manje.

Okuhlangenwe nakho kwami ​​kokuqala ocingweni — kokuba sezikhathini ezimbili zempilo yami ngasikhathi sinye — akuzange kubuye, ngenkathi sindawonye. Ubukhona bukaErnst ngokomzimba, ubungqabavu bakhe kanye nobuntu bakhe obukhulu kwavimba inkumbulo yami emangazayo ngaye. Esikhathini samanje naye, angizwanga lutho lwamacala amadala.

Engikufundile.

Kamuva, ngabona ukuthi okwethu kwakuwuthando lomkhumbi olwaphela lapho singena ogwini. Ngaphansi, besizokwazi ukwehluka kwethu okudakayo kupela isiphetho, ukuthi ezothando azikwazi ukusinda impilo yangempela. Yize kunjalo, ekuhlolweni kokulingwa, umthelela wakhona wawulujulile futhi uhlala njalo-futhi kwangishiya nginethemba ngothando.

Sikhumbula kahle kakhulu indlela esizizwa ngayo kakhulu. Akumangalisi ukuthi izinkumbulo zothando zokuqala zihlala zicacile, ukuthokoza kwazo ngenxa enkulu yokuba kwazo kuqala nangaphandle kwempilo yangempela.

Ngizohlala ngithandana nomfana owayengu-Ernst. Futhi kungani kungenjalo? Akusongeli lutho oluzayo ngemuva.