Yini Ababaleki Abayishiya Ngemuva?

-Delile

• Usizi Ukufundwa Okubalulekile
• Ukushaqeka Kokufa: Ungalulama Kanjani Lapho Othandekayo Efa Ngokungazelelwe

YINI ababaleki abayishiya emuva?

• Bashiya abathandekayo babo bengakwazi noma bengazimisele ukuhamba, amalungu omndeni nabangane "banyamalala" noma babulawa ngamaqembu ahlomile, noma balahlekelwa yindlala nezifo.
• Bashiya amakhaya, izimpahla, umhlaba, noma yini engathwalwa kalula emhlane noma epotimendeni.
• Bashiya umuzwa wabo wobunikazi, amakhono, kanye nencazelo exhunyaniswe nezindima zomphakathi nezobuchwepheshe abake bazidlala, nasezimpandeni zabo endaweni lapho bezizwe besekhaya khona, kuxhumene nomlando okungenzeka ukuthi wadlulela ezizukulwaneni ngezizukulwane.

Ukulahlekelwa, usizi, nokushonelwa yizingane ezingazalwa ezingafundile zesipiliyoni sababaleki, lapho ucwaningo lugxile kakhulu ekuhloleni ukuvezwa kobudlova kanye nezimpawu ezihambisana nalo zokuhlukumezeka kwengqondo (PTSD). Akungabazeki ukuthi amazinga e-PTSD aphakeme kubantu abathintekayo empini kunenye indawo, futhi isidingo sokungenelela okugxile ekuhlukumezekeni singokoqobo.

Kodwa-ke nomaphi lapho ngisebenze khona, kuzo zonke izindawo zempi nomphakathi wababaleki, ngishaywe yisibindi sokudabuka kwenhliziyo, sosizi kuwo wonke umuntu nakho konke okulahlekile. Ngicabanga ngowesifazane waseBosnia obhekene nosizi engimaziyo owalahlekelwa abazali bakhe, umyeni wakhe, nendodana yakhe ngosuku olulodwa lapho abashisekeli bobuzwe baseSerb behlasela isigodi sakubo bashisa nomuzi wakhe; yabantu base-Afghani engihlangane nabo abalahlekelwa amalungu omndeni, amakhaya, nezindlela zokuziphilisa ngesikhathi sempi elwa namaSoviet kanye nempi yombango eyalandela; sabantu baseGonagala empumalanga yeSri Lanka, lapho kwahlatshwa khona abantu abangama-54 ngobusuku obubodwa — isenzakalo esibuhlungu ngokuqinisekile, kodwa naso esashiya umphakathi wonke udangele ngosizi; amaNdiya aseMayan eGuatemala, abhekana nokubulawa kobuhlanga futhi elwa nobunzima bosizi obubangelwa "ukunyamalala" kwamalungu omndeni; kanye nabaseSyria ezindaweni zokuhlala ababaleki enyakatho yeLebanon, bedabuka ngokulahlekelwa yimizi yabo, impahla yabo, amaphrojekthi wokuphila, nabathandekayo abangazange basinde empini engapheli emngceleni.

Uzakwethu wase-Afghanistan ulahlekelwe ngudadewabo kanye nomndeni wakhe osukwini olulodwa ngesikhathi sokulwa nabaseSoviet. Ecabanga ngosizi agcine elulame kulo, wathi, ‘Abantu balapha banokholo oluqinile kuNkulunkulu, ngakho-ke siyazikhohlwa lezo zithombe, lezo zigcawu. Izithombe nezinkumbulo ziyanyamalala ngesikhathi. Kodwa ukudabuka kwenhliziyo, okuhlala kubantu, kwesinye isikhathi kuze kube phakade. ”

Angiqondile ukuphakamisa ukuthi iningi labasindile ezimpini ezihlomile liphukile ngosizi lwabo, noma banezinkinga zomtholampilo, noma ngisho nokuthi ukudabuka nosizi yizimo ezivelele ezingokomzwelo umuntu ahlangabezana nazo phakathi kwababaleki nabanye abathinteka yimpi. Ucwaningo oluningi lukhombisile ukuthi siyakwazi ukubekezela kunalokho esintekenteke lapho sibhekene nokulahleka, ukuhlukumezeka, kanye nezinye izingcindezi ezinkulu zokuphila (Bonanno, 2010). Yidlanzana kuphela labantu elikhubazeka yizimpawu zokucindezeleka, noma ngabe lelo qembu lincane lingaba likhulu ngokuya ngesipiliyoni sabo esithile. Iphuzu lami limane nje ukuthi ukugxila okuphezulu kwi-PTSD ehlobene nempi phakathi kwababaleki sekwenze kwaba nzima ukwazisa amandla engqondo ezinye izinto, kusuka kubaxinzelelo abaqhubekayo endaweni yangemva kokufuduka kuya kokuhlangenwe nakho okuningi kokulahleka okugcwele emiphakathini yababaleki.

Nokho, eminyakeni yamuva nje kuye kwenzeka ushintsho olubalulekile. Inani elikhulayo lezifundo lithole ukuthi izinsongo empilweni yababaleki 'yengqondo idlulela ngalé kokuchayeka kokuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu kodlame oluhlobene nempi. Zibandakanya, ngokwesibonelo, “izingcindezi eziningi zangemva kokufuduka” ezikhona esimeni sabo sokuhlala — izingcindezi ezinjengokuhlukaniswa nabantu, ubumpofu, ukungasebenzi, izindlu ezigcwele ngokweqile nezingaphephile, kanye nodlame lomndeni olwande kakhulu.

Zihlanganisa nokuhlangenwe nakho kokulahlekelwa.

BABALELWA kanjani ababaleki ngokulahlekelwa? Yikuphi ukusabela okuvamile, nezindlela zokubhekana nezinhlobo ezahlukahlukene zokulahleka (okuphakathi kwabantu, okokusebenza, kanye nokwengqondo), futhi yiziphi izinhlobo zokuxhaswa ezingasiza? Okutholakele ocwaningweni lwakamuva ngempilo yengqondo yababaleki, kanye nohlobo losizi nokushonelwa ngokujwayelekile, kungakhanyisa le mibuzo.

Iningi lababaleki, njengabantu abaningi ngokuvamile, alikukhuthazi ukubekezela noma ukukhubaza ukucindezeleka kwengqondo ngemuva kokulahleka kwabantu (UNickerson et al., 2014). Usizi lubuhlungu kakhulu kubantu abaningi, kepha imvamisa sidlula ebuhlungwini, sigudluze ngokuqhubekayo singene kulo, njengoba ubukhulu bosizi buncipha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Kubantu abaningi abashonelwe, ukungenelela kochwepheshe akudingekile noma akusizi ngalutho, ikakhulukazi ezinyangeni ezimbalwa zokuqala ngemuva kokulahleka (Bonanno, 2010; Wortman & Boerner, 2012). Ngokuphambene nalokho, ukwesekwa kwezenhlalo okwenzeka ngokwemvelo, kanye nezinkolelo nemikhuba engokomoya, kungadlala indima ebalulekile ekusizeni abantu ukuba badlule osizini lwabo.

Uzakwethu wase-Afghanistan engikhulume ngaye ekuqaleni, owalahlekelwa ngudadewabo kanye nomndeni wakhe ngesikhathi sempi elwa neSoviet Union, wathi ukululama kwakhe enhlekeleleni kwaba inhlanganisela yosizo lomphakathi oluvela emndenini, kanye nomqondo wamaSulumane sabr--ukubekezela nokholo olujulile kuNkulunkulu. Abasinda kulesi sibhicongo eGonagala, eSri Lanka nabo bathi ukuphulukiswa kwabo, noma ngabe kuyingxenye ethile, ngenxa yokusekelwa ngokomzwelo nangokwezinto ezibonakalayo ababekutholile, kanye nomkhuba ojwayelekile dane--isiko lamaBuddha okukholelwa ukuthi lizuzela imiphefumulo yomuntu oshonile ukuze ingaphinde ihlupheke kabi kangaka esikhathini esizayo.

Usizi Ukufundwa Okubalulekile

Ukushaqeka Kokufa: Ungalulama Kanjani Lapho Othandekayo Efa Ngokungazelelwe