Kungani Izingadi Zilungele Umphefumulo Kangaka?

-Delile

• Ungaba Wena
• Unganciphisa
• Ungaxhuma Nabanye, Kubandakanya Abasukile
• Ungaluthola Uthando
• Ungaphuma Ekhanda Elakho
• Ungavula ukuze Ushintshe
• Ungakuthola Ukuphila Ekufeni

Lapho silimele emzimbeni, engqondweni, noma emoyeni, sivame ukudonswa ezweni lemvelo njengendawo yokuphulukisa. Kwabanye, kungukuhamba ehlathini noma ngasogwini. Kwabaningi bethu, ingadi yindawo yethu yokwelashwa.

"Izingadi zingasiza ekwelapheni ngokomzimba, ngokwengqondo nangokomzwelo ngezindlela eziningi," kusho uChris Fehlhaber, umsizi wezivuno zaseChanticleer Garden eWayne, ePennsylvania.

Kwangimangaza lokhu kuphulukiswa lapho ngakha eyami ingadi ngonyaka owedlule. Ngangiphakathi komkhuhlane omude nokugula kwesikhunta okwakungakatholakali ngaleso sikhathi futhi ngazizwa ngikhangwa ukwakha ingadi yemifino egcekeni lami — hhayi ngoba ngangilindele ukuthi izolungisa lokho okwakungiphatha, kodwa ngoba ngangikuthanda ukusebenza engadini futhi ngidinga ezinye izinto zokuzilibazisa.

Kwakunokuthile ngokuba ngaphandle okwakuzwakala kunika impilo ngokujulile, noma kumoya owomile wama-20-degree kaFebhuwari ngenkathi ngakha imibhede ephakanyisiwe. Ngazithola ngishiya kalula ukukhathazeka kwami ​​njalo ngezimpawu eziyimfihlakalo ezazinciphise imisebenzi yami. Ngenkathi ngigcwalisa imibhede futhi ngiguqa emhlabathini izandla zami zisemhlabathini, ingqondo yami yasula futhi umoya wami waqabuleka.

Umlobi uMargo Rabb wezwa indlela yakhe yokuphulukiswa kusuka osizini olude engadini olunakekelwa nguFehlhaber, abelana ngayo naye New York Times esithi, “Ingadi Yenduduzo.” Ngikhulume nabo bobabili ku Cabanga Umthetho Yiba i-podcast njengoba sihlola lokho okunikeza izingadi amandla azo okuphulukisa. Nazi izingqikithi eziyisikhombisa ezivele engxoxweni yethu.

Ungaba Wena

Ezweni elisikhuthaza ukuba sigqoke i-façade, ingadi yindawo ethembekile ngokuqabulayo. "Enye yezinto esizithanda kakhulu ngezitshalo ukuthi zithembeke ngokuphelele kithi," kusho uFehlhaber sais. "Isitshalo sizokutshela uma lingatholi ilanga elanele noma lithola amanzi amaningi."

Ukwethembeka esikuthola engadini kukhuthaza ukwethembeka kwethu nokuba yiqiniso. "Uma yonke into ekuzungezile ithembekile futhi iziveza zinjengoba zinjalo, yeka ukuqapha kwakho," kusho uFehlhaber. "Njengoba uyeka ukuzivikela, lokho kungaholela ekuphulukisweni."

Ingxenye yokuba nguwe ukukhululeka ukuzwa lokho okuzwayo. "Kimina, bekuyindawo lapho ukudabuka kungazwanga khona njengokuthile okumele" kulungiswe, "kusho uRabb. “Sifuna ukukholelwa ukuthi usizi yinto owehlisayo, kodwa akunjalo. Ishintsha amafomu futhi ijikeleze futhi ifike idlule, kodwa 'awudluli.' Le bekuyindawo lapho ubungazizwa khona ngokudabuka kukho konke ubunzima bayo. Ngangiyizwa leyo mizwa eyinkimbinkimbi bese ngiyayidedela. ”

Njengoba sivumela ukuzivikela kwethu kwehle futhi sizivumele sithembeke, sivulela iqiniso lamava ethu nokuthi singobani. Iyini indawo engcwele uma kungeyona indawo yakho uqobo?

Unganciphisa

Uma ungena engadini, isikhathi sithambekela ekunciphiseni ijubane. Ingqondo nomzimba wakho kuyaphumula njengoba usuka kude nesiphithiphithi sansuku zonke, futhi ungaxhumana nomoya wakho. Izingadi zisimema ukuthi sishiye ukwenziwa njalo futhi sizivumele ukuthi sibe nje.

“Kukhona ubumnene bezingadi,” kusho uRabb, “futhi kubalekela izindaba nodlame esihlale sibhekene nalo. Akuwona umhlaba omnene laphaya. ” Uthole ukuthi iChanticleer Garden inikeze isikhala ayidingayo ukuze ezwe usizi lokulahlekelwa ngunina eminyakeni engama-25 edlule. Isivinini esingajahile sokuba sensimini sisinikeza isikhathi esidinga ukudabuka.

"Asisenazo lezi zikhala ezimnene," kusho uRabb. “Ukuza lapha lapho izinto zinokuthula futhi zimnene — kuyisikhala esingcwele.”

Ngawuzwa lowo mqondo wokungcweliswa ngenkathi ngiguqa engadini yami ngelinye ilanga. Lokho okwaqala njengokuma kokudonsa ukhula kwaguqulwa kwaba yisenzo esingcwele, njengokungathi ngangikhokhela okuthile okukhulu kunami.

Ungaxhuma Nabanye, Kubandakanya Abasukile

Izingadi zingasebenza njengomsele phakathi kwethu nabanye abantu. Yize noma kaningi singazazi izandla ezakha ingadi, sizwa ukuthintwa kwesintu okusizungezile ngempilo engadini. Ingadi ingahle ibe nophawu lwalabo abayiklama futhi babeke izitshalo nezihlahla enhlabathini, noma ngabe sekuphele isikhathi eside zingasekho.

UFehlhaber wabelane nge-akhawunti yakhe yokuthi izingadi zingasixhumanisa kanjani nalabo abangasaphili. "Umkhulu wami wayevame ukungiphakamisa emahlombe akhe ukuhogela izimbali esihlahleni sikakhokho," esho. “Kuze kube namuhla ngenza iphuzu lokuthi ngibanuke kaningi ngangokunokwenzeka njalo entwasahlobo ngoba badonsa kakhulu. Futhi ngizizwa sengathi sengibuyele emahlombe akhe. ”

Ungaluthola Uthando

Uma ucabanga ngengadi kungenzeka ungacabangi ngothando, kepha kungamandla okuphulukisa anikezwa izingadi. Ingadi yakhelwe othandweni-hhayi isithombe senhliziyo ezibomvana nezibomvu, kodwa amandla okuphila ayisisekelo akuyo yonke into ephilayo. Ukuxhuma naleyo ndlela yothando kungaba yingxenye enamandla yokwelashwa.

Uthando engadini luza ngokusebenzisa okuhlangenwe nakho kwethu kwezinzwa kunokuba kube ngamazwi. "Izitshalo ukuxhumana nawe ngolimi lwezinzwa-ukubona, umsindo, ukuthinta, ukunambitha, nokuhogela," kusho uFehlhaber. “Zonke izitshalo ziningi esingakusho uma sizinika isikhathi sokuziqonda. Abanawo amandla okukusho ngomlomo, kodwa ingabe uthando empeleni alusona nje isibonakaliso sempilo nenjabulo? ”

Uthando luphuma futhi ekunakekelweni okungena engadini. “Noma nini lapho ufaka inhliziyo nomphefumulo wakho entweni ethile, uthando oluyisisekelo sayo lungasiza ngenqubo yokwelashwa. Lolo thando nomoya yilokho okuzwana nabantu engadini, ”kusho uFehlhaber.

Urabi wavuma. “Uyabona kungakanani okuthelwe engadini, bese uyakuthola,” kusho yena. “Kufana nobudlelwano, kucishe kufane nokuthola incwadi yothando.”

Ungaphuma Ekhanda Elakho

Enye yezingxenye ezinhle kakhulu zensimu inguquko eyamukelekayo yendawo, kungaba kusuka ekulahlekelweni ngumcabango noma ukunamathiselwa esikrinini. “Imihlaba yethu iba mincane futhi ayisondeli lapho sibhekene nento efana nosizi,” kusho uFehlhaber, “futhi kulula ukulahleka ezindabeni zethu. Lapho ungadedela leyo micabango futhi ubekhona nje bese uzibandakanya nalokho okukuzungezile, uyabona ukuthi kuningi kangakanani okwenzekayo okungathembekile kuwe. ”

Ukuphila nokufa kusizungeza njalo engadini. Singathola induduzo ngokwazi ukuthi le mijikelezo iyaqhubeka, noma ngabe kwenzekani ezimpilweni zethu. "Yonke impilo oyithola engadini izophila futhi izokufa, izoba nezinsuku ezinhle nezimbi njengathi," kusho uFehlhaber. “Isitshalo esibukeka sihle ngolunye usuku sizobe sesifile ngokulandelayo. Lokho kuyimpilo — yilokho okwenzekayo. Futhi lokho kukwazi kukusiza wazi ukuthi kuzolunga. ”

Ungavula ukuze Ushintshe

Ushintsho lunzima, ikakhulukazi uma lungathandeki — ngokwesibonelo, ukulahlekelwa othandekayo, noma ukuwohloka kwempilo yethu. Lezi zinguquko zingazizwa njengokusuka endleleni izinto "okufanele zibe ngayo," njengoba simelana nanoma yini ecasula umhlaba wethu njengoba sazi.

"Ukulima ingadi isiqinisekiso sokuthi ushintsho alunakugwemeka futhi lulungile," kusho uFehlhaber. “Akukuhle noma kubi — kumane nje kunjalo. Ngoguquko kuza nesiqinisekiso sokuthi impilo inesiphetho, futhi izophela njengazo zonke izinkathi zonyaka. ” Njengoba samukela imijikelezo yempilo nokufa engadini, singasondela ekwamukeleni leyo mijikelezo kithi nakwalabo esibathandayo.

Ngokwenza lokho, izingadi zisikhumbuza ukuthi ushintsho alusona isiphetho sendaba. "Ingadi iqinisekisa ukuthi impilo iyaqhubeka, futhi izoqhubeka ngemuva nangaphandle kwethu," kusho uFehlhaber.

Ungakuthola Ukuphila Ekufeni

Ukufa mhlawumbe ushintsho olunzima ukwamukela. Ukufa kuzizwa kungukugcina futhi kungabonakala njengokuphambene nokuphila. Kepha izingadi zingasikhombisa ukuthi ukufa akuyona nje kuphela ingxenye yokuphila kepha kunika amandla impilo. Izitshalo ezifile nezinye izinto eziphilayo zidilizwa yizinto ezincane bese kuba umquba onika impilo ekukhuleni kwesizini elandelayo.

"Into mayelana nezingadi ukuthi zakhiwe ngokoqobo ekufeni nasekubolile," kusho uFehlhaber. “Yilokho okusiza ukwakha inhlabathi okwenza konke okusizungezile kube nokwenzeka. Ngakho-ke into ebonakala imuncu empeleni ihlinzeka ngamathuba akho konke lokhu kuphila nenjabulo. ”

UFehlhaber unikeze isibonelo sekwindla sekwephuzile, esivame ukubonwa njengesikhathi sokufa nokubola. “Njengabalimi sibona lokhu njengokuqala kwesizini entsha ngoba konke okwenzekayo manje yikhona okuzovumela ukuthi le nsimu ivuke futhi izalwe kabusha ngonyaka ozayo. Ukufa kuyo yonke indawo engadini, futhi kulungile. ”

"Kungumsebenzi wobuciko ohlala uphila futhi ufa phambi kwakho," kwengeza uRabb. “Kukhona into enhle kakhulu futhi eduduzayo kulokho.”

Ingxoxo ephelele noMargo Rabb noChris Fehlhaber eChanticleer Garden iyatholakala lapha