Kungani iBPD Ibangela Ukuqhuma Emndenini Nabangane

Abantu abanezimpawu zeBorderline Personality Disorder (BPD) bahlushwa ukucwaswa ngokomzwelo okuvame ukubangela ukuthi bahlasele abantu abasondelene nabo. Lapho bekhungathekile noma lapho bengakutholi abakufunayo ngesikhathi abakufuna ngaso, bavame ukuhlangabezana nokuqubuka kwentukuthelo ebhekiswe kakhulu kulabo abasondele kakhulu kubo. Lokhu kuvame ukuholela ekuqhumeni okulimazayo. Lapho ukuqhuma kungokwenyama, kuvamise ukubhekiswa ezintweni kunabantu, kwesinye isikhathi kuholele ekucekelweni phansi noma kokucekelwa phansi kwempahla, njengokushaya izibhakela noma ukulimaza imoto yomuntu. Kulokhu okuthunyelwe sizohlola ukuthi kungani iBPD ibenza baziphathe ngale ndlela.

Yize ukuqhuma kungaba ngokomzimba, imvamisa kuthatha isimo sokuphikisana ngamazwi okulimazayo noma okuhlukumezayo. Okulandelayo yisibonelo sowesifazane one-BPD oxoxa nendodana yakhe endala:

Umama: Jackie, ngicela ungiyise emakethe ngiyolanda amafutha omnqumo?

UJack: Ngiphakathi nobizo lomsebenzi.

Mama: Uzoqedwa nini?

UJack: Angikwazi ukukhuluma njengamanje.

Mama: Yini ebaluleke kangaka ukuthi ungakwazi ukuhambisa unyoko esitolo ngokushesha?

UJack: Ayikho impendulo

Mama: ngikhuluma nawe.

UJack: Mama lolu ucingo olubalulekile.

Mama: Konke kubaluleke kuwe kunami. Khohlwa. Futhi ukhohlwe ukuthi unomama. Ngizozitholela yona.

Kokushintshana okungenhla umama kaJack ukhungathekile ngokungavimbi kocingo lukaJack futhi amyise esitolo ngesikhathi abuze ngaso. Kuthe uma engaphenduli ngendlela ayefuna ngayo wamkhakhabisa.

Yini edala ukuthi unina kaJack amkhwele?

Umama kaJack uthatha ukuthi angahlangabezani nezidingo zakhe uqobo. Uyitolika njengokukhishwa inyumbazane kwenani lakhe nokungalihloniphi. Ukuhumusha kwakhe lokhu kumenza azizwe engavikelekile ngaye nangobudlelwano bakhe nendodana yakhe.

Ukuqhuma kubangela ukuthi labo abasondelene nabo bazizwe behlaselwa. Abantu abaningi abane-BPD bahlambalaza abanye njalo futhi labo ababazungezile balindela ukuhlukunyezwa futhi bagadiwe futhi ekugcineni bavikeleke futhi bavikele abagulayo be-BPD. Isibonelo, uBob noMarsha sebeneminyaka eminingi beshadile. Isampula elandelayo yengxoxo yabo yenzeka cishe njalo lapho uMarsha ehamba khona ngaphezu kwamahora ambalwa.

UBob: Usanda kubuya ukuvakashela unyoko?

UMarsha: Emizuzwini embalwa edlule.

UBob: Ubuzongitshela nini ukuthi usekhaya?

UMarsha: Bengizongena.

UBob: Angikaze ngizwe ngawe ngenkathi ungekho ngakho bengicabanga ukuthi awufuni ukuba seduze kwami.

UMarsha: Bob, ungaphinde uyiqale leyo. Njalo uma ngivakashele umama, ngithola lokhu ukuthi awungithandi inqubo.

Kule ngxoxo uBob, onezimpawu ze-BPD, uzwakalisa ukwesaba kwakhe ukungathandwa ngakho-ke ulahliwe, uphawu olujwayelekile lwe-BPD. UMarsha ukuzwe lokhu kaningi ngaphambili ngakho-ke uba nesineke sokuzivikela futhi azivikele. Lokhu kungeza ukungqubuzana okwengeziwe esimeni esivele sishubile.

Kusobala ngokuxhumana okungenhla ukuthi uBob akazethembi ngokufuna kwakhe nokuheha umkakhe. Akazethembi ukuthi unkosikazi wakhe uthandana naye futhi uzibophezele kuye. Azizwa enele ngokwanele ngakho-ke ufuna ukuqinisekiswa kumkakhe ngendlela yokufuna nokuba nempahla.

UMarsha uhlangabezana nalokhu njengoba esolwa futhi elawula. Uveza ukucasuka kunokuqinisekisa, ngaleyo ndlela akhungathekise uBob. Uphendula ngokusolwa okuningi, okwenza ukuthi asuke kuye. Ukwesaba kwakhe ukulahlwa kudala isimilo esenza uMarsha amshiye. Isiprofetho esizigcwalisayo sidala ukungasebenzi emshadweni.

Indima Yokucwaswa Ngokwemizwa

I-BPD ihlotshaniswa nokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo. Bobabili umama kaJack noBob bakuthola lokhu ngoba amasistimu abo ezinzwa aphendula ngokuqinile ezinsongweni ezibonakalayo zokulahlwa. Ukuqina kwempendulo engokomzwelo kweqa amandla abo okubhekana nakho futhi baba nokukhathazeka okukhulu.

Ukuphuma ngale ndlela empeleni kwehlisa ukukhathazeka, kepha lokho kukwenza ngokuxosha abanye. Lokhu ngeshwa kuqinisa ukwesaba kwabo ukulahlwa futhi kubangele ukungazinzi ebudlelwaneni babo ngokulimaza abasondelene nabo.

Ukufunda ukubhekana nemizwa enamandla kuzonciphisa ukuthambekela kokuklabalasa kwabanye. I-Psychotherapy, kufaka phakathi i-Dialectical Behaeve Therapy (DBT) izosiza le nqubo. Ukulawulwa ngokomzwelo okuphumelela ngokwengeziwe kuzosiza umama kaJack noBob ukuthi bandise ukuzethemba kwabo nokuzimela, ngaleyo ndlela kwenze ukuthi ithemba lokushiywa lingasongeli kangako futhi lingabi buhlungu kangako.

Ukuqonda ukuthi yini abantu abanezimpawu zokuhlangenwe nakho kwe-BPD kuzosiza labo ababazungezile ukuthi baxhumane ngempumelelo ngenkathi bezivikela ekuqhumeni okuhlukumezayo. Isibonelo, izitatimende ezinjenge Ngiyaqonda ukuthi unezinhlungu kepha angikwazi ukusiza ngenkathi ungizwisa ubuhlungu (noma ungixosha) ukusebenza ukusetha umngcele nxazonke ungavumeli ukuhlukunyezwa futhi unganikeli usizo noma ukusekelwa ngenkathi uphathwa kabi. Iphinde inikeze ophethwe yi-BPD indlela ecacile yokuthola ukwesekwa uma bezimisele ukulawula nokuziphatha ngokuziphatha kwabo.

Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi nangomzamo wawo wonke amaqembu lezi zindlela zizoholela ebudlelwaneni obungcono, kanye nalabo abaphethwe yizimpawu ze-BPD.