Kungani Kufanele Ukhulume Nezihambi

-Delile

• Amaphuzu abalulekile
• Ukuqapha Kakhulu Kusenza Silahlekelwe Ubudlelwano
• Khuluma nomuntu ongamazi

Amaphuzu abalulekile

• Imiyalezo yabezindaba mayelana nezingane ezilahlekile yafaka ukwesaba kubazali, ababe sebethatha isinyathelo sokuvikela nokuqapha.
• UGen Z kanye neMillennials, bafundiswe ukungakhulumi nabantu abangabazi, bakhule bengafundile ukuthi bangaxhumana kanjani nabantu ongabazi nhlobo.
• Njengezinhlobo zenhlalo, sidinga ukusebenzisana ngokubambisana nabanye hhayi nje kuphela ukwenza izinto, kepha futhi nokugcina inhlalakahle yethu ingokomzwelo.

Ngo-1979, u-Etan Patz oneminyaka eyisithupha wanyamalala ngenkathi eya esitobhini sebhasi lesikole sakhe eManhattan engezansi. Bese kuthi, ngo-1981 ngokunyamalala kuka-Adam Walsh, isizwe sathukuthela. Izithombe zezingane ezingekho zivele kumabhokisi obisi izingane okufanele zizibuke ngenkathi zidla izitsha zokusanhlamvu kwasekuseni. Imikhawulo emayelana nalokho abantwana abekwazi ukukwenza nabangakwazi ukukwenza ishintshile.

Ngisho nangaphambi kwale micimbi eyethusayo neyasakazwa kakhulu, ngabhala incwajana emfushane, “Ice Cream Is Not Always Good,” eyayisekelwe embikweni wezindaba wendawo womuntu ongaziwa owayehamba ngemoto eluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka eduze kwesikole samabanga aphansi sezingane zami zokutholwa. Le ncwajana yasatshalaliswa kuzwelonke ngamaphoyisa nezikole, nabazali. Ngemuva kwalokho yaba yincwadi Ungalokothi Uvume Yebo Kumuntu Ongamazi: Lokho Ingane Yakho Okufanele Ikwazi Ukuze Ihlale Iphephile futhi ibilokhu iphrintiwe ngezindlela ezahlukahlukene amashumi eminyaka. Lezi zindaba nemiyalezo kusize abazali nabafundisi ukufundisa izingane ezincane umehluko phakathi kwabantu abangabazi abalungile futhi abangaba wusizo nalabo abangabalimaza. Yenzelwe ukuhlinzeka ngamathuluzi izingane ezisencane ezidinga ukuhlala ziphephile lapho zizodwa, zingagadiwe.

Imiyalezo yabezindaba ezungeze izingane ezilahlekile, kwesinye isikhathi idukisa ngokwehluleka ukuhlukanisa phakathi kwezingane ezibalekile kanye nalabo abathathiwe, abazali abethukile abanciphisa kakhulu inkululeko yezingane. Abazali baqale ukundiza futhi bahlala endaweni evikela ngokweqile, yokuqapha.

Ukuqapha Kakhulu Kusenza Silahlekelwe Ubudlelwano

Encwadini yakhe, Ithuba Lakho: Ungaba Kanjani Umuntu Omdala, UJulie Lythcott-Haims uxoxa ngendlela inhlangano eyaphuma ngayo ingalawuleki nokuthi ukuphatha izingane kancane kuthinte kanjani abantu abadala namuhla futhi “kwaholela ekubeni baqaphele futhi ngenxa yalokho [baphuthelwa] ukuthi bangabakha kanjani ubudlelwano obuyisisekelo senjabulo yethu ngabanye . ”

Isahluko sakhe, "Qala Ukukhuluma Nezihambi," sivula ngesilinganiso esithi, "Ungakhulumi nabantu ongabazi," esihlanganiswe "Wonke umuntu." Lokho bekuyiphutha elinjalo, uyabhala:

"Ngokunjalo, izingane eziningi zeMillennial neGen Z zakhuliswa ngemantra ethi" Ungakhulumi nabantu ongabazi. ' Lokhu kusho ukuthi kungabi nokuxhumana ngamazwi nabantu ongabazi futhi-ke ungahambi nabo noma yikuphi, noma. Kepha iqhubekile nokungaxhumani nabantu ongabazi, futhi ingabi nezingxoxo ezincane nabantu ongabazi ezindleleni zomgwaqo noma ezitolo. Ngemuva kwalokho kwaba ukungazinaki izihambi ngokuphelele. Izingane eziningi zakhula zingasabi nje lowo mbono wabantu abangabazi, kepha empeleni zingazi ukuthi zingaxhumana kanjani nazo. Ngenxa yalokhu, izingane azifundanga ukuzulazula ezinkundleni zokuxhumana ezinikezwa ngumuntu ebezingamazi. Bese-ke beqeda isikole samabanga aphezulu futhi baya emhlabeni, lapho impilo yabo ibigcwele khona. . . abafokazi.

“Nakhu kufika okungaba iphuzu elisobala kakhulu engizolisho kule ncwadi: sonke singabafokazi komunye nomunye ekuqaleni. Bese, ngandlela thile, siba ukujwayelana nabanye balabo (ababekade) singabazi, abanye balabo esibajwayele baphenduka omakhelwane, abangani, osebenza nabo, abeluleki, abathandi, abalingani, nomndeni. Ucwaningo oluvela emkhakheni we-biology yokuziphendukela kwemvelo, i-anthropology, kanye ne-psychology yezenhlalo lukhombisa ukuthi siyizinhlobo zezenhlalo eziphakeme kakhulu okufanele zihlanganyele ngokubambisana nangomusa komunye nomunye hhayi nje ukwenza izinto kodwa ukuze siphile kahle emoyeni. Ucwaningo luye lukhombise ukuthi ukuxhumana nabantu abazohlala singabazi naphakade (okungukuthi, umuntu osemgwaqeni odlula ngendlela) nakho kunemiphumela emihle yezempilo engqondweni. ”

Khuluma nomuntu ongamazi

Ekugibeleni ibhasi eNew York City eminyakeni eminingana eyedlule ngezwa abesifazane ababili bexoxa ngendawo yokudlela enganginesifiso sokwazi ngayo. Ngakho kunokuba ngilalele, ngacela ukuthi bangitshele ngakho. Saqala ukuxoxa. Kwaziqondanela nje ukuthi omunye walaba besifazane uhlala eduze kwami ​​futhi usebe ngumngani omkhulu. Ngaphambi kobhubhane senza izinto eziningi ndawonye edolobheni futhi sesiyasekelana ngokomzwelo komunye nomunye. Ngokushesha nje lapho i-CDC ithi iphephile ukuqala kabusha ukuxhumana nalabo abangaphandle kwama-pods ethu, nginesiqiniseko sokuthi sizoqhubeka nobungane bethu ubuso nobuso — lowo owazalwa engakwazi ukukhuluma nomuntu angamazi.

Ubhadane luye lwagcizelela ukuthi noma ngabe sineminyaka emingaki, sidinga ukuxhumana ubuso nobuso — hhayi amakhasi ezinkundla zokuxhumana “abangani,” kodwa abantu esingababheka ezinhlamvini zamehlo, futhi, kungekudala, siphinde sihage. Uma ukhuliswe ngaphansi kwemantra ethi “Ungakhulumi nabantu ongabazi,” ukwakha lobo budlelwano kungahle kungakhululeki ekuqaleni, kepha njengoba uLythcott-Haims ekhumbuza abafundi, “akukhona nje kuphela ukuthi kulungile ukukhuluma nabantu ongabazi, ufuna ukukwenza. Kufanele. Asambe."