Ukungavumi Okuvunyelwayo: Ukuhlola Imingcele Eyinselele

Eminyakeni yamuva nje, ukuxoxwa “kokungavumi ngokuvumelana,” noma “i-CNC,” kuye kwanda kakhulu ezweni le-kink ne-sadomasochism (BDSM). Imibono ye-CNC iwukuhlola amandla, kanye nokwenza inkanuko yokunikela ngokuphelele kuwo wonke amandla, nokuzibeka ngokuphelele ezandleni zomunye. Ngenkathi lo mbono wethusa abanye, kwabanye lokho kwesaba kuguqulela ekuxukeni okunamandla kokuvusa inkanuko.

I-Sadism ne-masochism ichaza abantu ababandakanyeka ekunikezeni noma ekutholeni ubuhlungu, njengengxenye yomlando wabo wezocansi. Ucwaningo lwesimanje manje luphakamisa ukuthi izici zokufuna isasasa, ukukhuphuka, kanye nokuvuleleka kokuhlangenwe nakho kuyizimpawu zomuntu ezibalulekile ezidonsela abantu ekuzibandakanyeni ekuziphatheni okunjengokobulili njengeBDSM (Brown, Barker & Rahman, 2019; Wismeijer & van Assen, 2013). Njengoba nje abanye abantu beheha izinto zokuzilibazisa ezinjenge- “adrenaline” ezinjenge- skydiving ngenkathi abanye bethanda ukunitha, abanye abantu bathambekele ekuziphatheni okuvuselela inkanuko, kanti abanye bathanda ukwenza uthando buthule.

Ukuziphatha ngokocansi okubandakanya ukushaya kanye nezinto zamandla, ulaka, noma ukubusa kuvame kakhulu futhi akuhlotshaniswa nezifo noma ukuphazamiseka ngokomzwelo (isb., Joyal, 2015). Imvamisa, ekuziphatheni kwe-BDSM, kunabantu ababamba iqhaza ekuziphatheni okuphezulu, kokuqina, okunolaka, noma kokuqondisa izigwegwe. Kwabanye, ukubusa ngokwengqondo noma “imidlalo yama-headgames” kuyisici esiyinhloko sesipiliyoni, lapho ozithobayo ephoqeleka khona ukuzwa imizwa enamandla, enamandla yokwesaba, ukukhathazeka, ngisho nokunengeka, ngenkathi kumongo wobudlelwano obethembekile, okuxoxiswene ngabo futhi buvumelana.Ngenkathi i-BDSM ne-CNC ivame ukuba nezocansi, lezi zimilo kwesinye isikhathi zingabandakanya ukuhlola amandla kuphela, ngaphandle kokuxhumana okusobala.

Imvume yokuziphatha kwe-sadomasochistic ithola ukunakekelwa kwamanje kocwaningo (isb., Carvalho, Freitas & Rosa, 2019), futhi kunezinhlobo ezahlukahlukene noma izinhlaka zemvume ezisetshenziswe ku-BDSM, kufaka phakathi: "Safe, Sane and Consensual," "Risk Aware Consensual Kink , ”“ Ukukhathalela, Ukuxhumana, Imvume Nokuqapha, ”kanye“ Nemvume Eqhubekayo ”(Santa Lucia, 2005; Williams, Thomas, Prior & Christensen, 2014). Abantu ababamba iqhaza kwi-BDSM ehlelekile bathambekele ekuqapheliseni izici ezingavumelani zemvume, futhi banekhono lokuxoxisana ngemvume (Eg Dunkley & Brotto, 2019), yize ukwephulwa kwemvume nokuhlaselwa ngokocansi kusenzeka kula maqembu. "Ama-Safewords" ayingxenye yezingxoxo zomsebenzi we-BDSM, lapho abantu bekhomba indlela (igama noma isenzo esingasho lutho) lapho bezoqeda khona umsebenzi uma becindezelekile, futhi okubavumela ukuthi bathi "cha" futhi bamelane noma balwe , ngaphandle kokuqeda umsebenzi.

"Ukungavunyelwa kwemvume" kuchaza ukuzibandakanya ekuziphatheni okungabandakanya ukulingisa okungaziphathi kahle, noma okungabandakanya ukuxoxisana ngokuziphatha kocansi lapho omunye umlingani evuma ukuyeka imvume phakathi kokuziphatha okuthile noma ubudlelwano. Isibonelo, lokhu kungabandakanya abantu abachazela abalingani babo noma abangahle babe nguzakwabo abacabanga ukuthi bangathunjwa futhi badlwengulwe futhi ozakwethu bayavuma ukwenza lokhu "njengesiqephu" sokulingisa empilweni yangempela, ukuze bafeze iphupho elifunekayo. “I-CNC” ichaza indlela abantu abaxoxisana ngayo ngazwilinye kusengaphambili ngokuziphatha okungahambisani nemicabango kanye nokudlala indima okuzobandakanya. Ukungavumi kwemvume kuvumela uhlobo lwabantu ababeke umthwalo nokulawula ezandleni zomunye umuntu futhi ubameme ukuthi bamphushele lowo muntu ngaphesheya kwemingcele yabo noma bathathe umthwalo wokunqoba izithiyo zangaphakathi zomuntu ozithobayo ekubandakanyeni ekuziphatheni okufunwayo. Ukungavumelani kwemvume, empeleni, kukhombisa uhlobo olweqisayo lokususa amandla okuqina.

Kunengxoxo elinganiselwe kakhulu ye-CNC ocwaningweni nasezincwadini zomtholampilo. Umqondo ohlobene "wezinganekwane zokudlala ngokudlwengulwa" ucwaningwe kabanzi, ucwaningo luphakamisa ukuthi kuvame kakhulu. Ucwaningo oluhlukahlukene lukhombisa ukuthi phakathi kwabangu-30-60% abesifazane babika imicabango yezocansi yokudlwengulwa, ukuhlukunyezwa, noma ukuthathwa ngocansi bengafuni, cishe babika isigamu sokuthi imicabango enjalo iyabavusa futhi ibafanele (isb. IBivona & Critelli, 2009) . Kunolwazi oluncane mayelana nokuthi bangaki abesifazane abafaka amaphupho anjalo ekuziphatheni kwabo kwezocansi njengokulingisa. Abesifazane abaningi besaba ukuthi ukwabelana ngamaphupho anjalo kungaholela ekutheni badlwengulwe, noma kubantu bakholelwe ukuthi bafuna ngempela ukuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi, okuyinto abangayifuni (iBivona & Critelli, 2009). Lapho imibhangqwana izama ukufaka iphupho lokulingisa lokudlwengula ekuziphatheni kwabo kwezocansi, kungaba ngumsebenzi onzima, ogcwele, kepha ovuzayo futhi omuhle. (UJohnson, uStewart noFarrow, 2019)

INational Coalition for Freedom Sexual yenze ucwaningo ngabantu ababambe iqhaza kwi-BDSM ukuphenya ubukhulu nobunjalo bokuphulwa kwemvume kulabo abenza i-BDSM. Phakathi kwabaphenduli abangaphezu kwezinkulungwane ezine, ama-29% abike umlando wokwephulwa kwemvume, kusuka ekuthambiseni nasekuthinteni ukungena okungacabangi kwezitho zobulili. Abangamaphesenti angama-40 babike ukuthi babehlanganyele ngokuzithandela ezigcawini ze-CNC kanye nokuziphatha, lapho "umuntu oyedwa noma ngaphezulu enikela ilungelo lokuhoxisa imvume isikhathi sesigameko." Kulabo ababekade behlanganyela ku-CNC, bangu-14% kuphela ababika ukuthi imikhawulo yabo okuxoxiswene ngayo ngaphambili yephuliwe endaweni yesehlakalo ye-CNC noma ebudlelwaneni, okwakuyisigamu sezinga lokwephulwa kwemvume okubikwe kusampula ngokubanzi. Bangu-22% kuphela abantu abaziphatha ekuziphatheni kwe-CNC ababike ukuthi bake babhekana nokuphulwa kwemvume nganoma yisiphi isikhathi, uma kuqhathaniswa no-29% wesampula enkulu. Ababhali basikisela ukuthi "ingxoxo eyengeziwe nokuxoxisana okudingekayo ukuze kuhlangatshezwe ne-CNC kungenye yezikhiye zokuthola imvume egcwele ulwazi." (Wright, Stambaugh & Cox, 2015., ikhasi 20)

Ubudlelwano be- “Master-slave” buyindlela enesiko yokwenza ubudlelwano be-BDSM obungavumelani, lapho abantu bexoxisana ngobudlelwano bokuvumelana lapho omunye umlingani evumela omunye ukuthi alawule zonke izici zempilo yakhe. Ubudlelwano be-Master-slave abuvamile, kepha bukhona, futhi bafundwa ngo-2013 nguDancer, uKleinplatz, noMoser. Bathola ukuthi ngokufaka imicimbi ejwayelekile yempilo yansuku zonke efana nemisebenzi yasendlini nemikhuba yansuku zonke ezintweni ezahlukile zamandla ezimpilo zabo, ababambiqhaza bandise imingcele yezintshisekelo zabo ze-BDSM ngaphezu kwemisebenzi yezocansi kuphela. Yize kwakukhona umbono nenhloso "yokuzithoba okuphelele," "izigqila" ezazikhulume ngokungavumelani kwemvume zazisebenzisa inkululeko yokuzikhethela lapho zidinga ukuzizuzisa zona. Cishe uhhafu "wezigqila" kulolu cwaningo uchaze ukuthi babeke babona noma iliphi ikhono lokwenqaba imiyalo evela enkosini yabo, uma sebengenile ebudlelwaneni babo. Amaphesenti angamashumi ayisikhombisa nane "ezigqila" abike ukuthi abekhe aziphatha ngendlela ebibonakala ingeke yenzeke ngaphambili, njengoba “bebeqhutshelwe ngaphesheya kwemingcele yabo” yinkosi yabo.

Ukungavumelani okungavumelekile, ubudlelwano bezigqila, izifiso zokudlwengula, kanye ne-BDSM ngokujwayelekile kuyizinto zezingxoxo ezithandwa kakhulu kwi-inthanethi kwimidiya yezokuxhumana eku-inthanethi. Ngeshwa, njengakho konke okuku-inthanethi, lezi zingxoxo zingafaka imininingwane emibi kakhulu noma engalungile njengoba benza imibono enempilo noma emihle nezinto ezibonakalayo. Abelaphi bezocansi kanye nabahlengikazi abanjengami bavame ukuhlangana nabantu abanolwazi lokuthi bahlanganyele kanjani kwi-BDSM, i-CNC, noma ezinye izindlela zokuya ocansini luvele ngokuphelele emithonjeni eku-inthanethi, futhi luqukethe imininingwane noma imikhuba eminingi yokusola nokungenampilo.

Ukuqondwa komtholampilo kanye nesayensi ngokwanda, imvelo, kanye ne-etiology yemikhuba yezocansi engavumelekile isencane. Ucwaningo nomsebenzi womtholampilo ngalezi zindaba uyaqhubeka, kepha le ndawo yokuziphatha ngokocansi nayo iyavela njengoba ikhula, okwenza kube yinselele ukucabanga ngokuphelele noma ukubiyela. Kuyacaca ukuthi abantu abaningi bacabanga ngokuba sezimweni zocansi lapho bengeke babalekele noma baqede isipiliyoni. Bambalwa abantu abenza imikhuba enjalo empilweni yangempela ngokulingisa, uma kuqhathaniswa nefantasy, noma kubonakala sengathi akuvamile ukwenza njalo. Kwenziwe ngemvume, ukuzazisa, ukuxoxisana, kanye nokuxhumana, kubonakala sengathi ukuhlanganisa imikhuba engavumelani nemithetho ekuziphatheni kwezocansi kungaba yinto enempilo negcwalisayo yezocansi kwabanye abantu, ebavumela ukuthi bandise imingcele yabo yezocansi.

UDunkley, C. & Brotto, L. (2019) Indima yemvume kumongo we-BDSM. Ukuhlukumeza ngokocansi, i-DOI: 10.1177 / 1079063219842847

UJohnson, uStewart noFarrow (2019) Abesifazane Abadlwengulayo: Ukucabanga ngemibono yethiyori kanye neyasemtholampilo yokwazisa umkhuba, iJenali Yezokwelapha Nezobudlelwano, i-DOI: 10.1080 / 15332691.2019.1687383

USanta Lucia (2005). Imvume eqhubekayo. Ku-The Regulation of Sex, Carceral Notebooks, Vol 1. Itholakala kwa: Carceral Notebooks - Journal Volume 1 (thecarceral.org)

Williams, Thomas, Ngaphambi & Christensen, (2014). Kusuka ku- “SSC” ne- “RACK” kuye ku- “4Cs”: Kwethulwa Uhlaka olusha Lokuxoxisana Nokubamba iqhaza kwe-BDSM. Ijenali ye-elekthronikhi Yezocansi Zomuntu, Umqulu 17, Julayi 5, 2014

UWright, Stambaugh & Cox, (2015). Ucwaningo Lokwephulwa Kwemvume, Umbiko Wobuchwepheshe. Kutholakala ku: Imvume Yokuhlolwa Kokuhlukumezeka Kwemvume (ncsfreedom.org)