Ukubhekana Nabantu Abanzima Kuqala Nathi

Kubhulogi engaphambilini, nginikeze izikhombisi-ndlela zokubhekana nezinhlamvu ezinganeliseki sonke esihlangana nazo emahhovisi, ezikoleni, emindenini nasezinhlanganweni zomphakathi, Ukugcina Imimoya Iphakeme Lapho Abanye Besidonsela Phansi.¹ Iziphakamiso ezabiwe azikhethi isizini eyodwa kuphela kodwa ziba wusizo ekusebenzisaneni kwethu kwansuku zonke.

Okusemqoka ekuphatheni ukufutheka kwabantu okufasile, imigoqo kanye nezinsimbi abazikhiphayo, kanye nokugxeka kwabo kanye nemiyalezo engemihle engeyona eyomlomo kungukuphinda sisebenze kwethu. Hhayi bona, kodwa thina. Empeleni, yonke inqubo yabo ihlala phezu kwethu noma isiguqula kanjani, ikakhulukazi ... uma sibavumela.

Izinsuku noma amasonto ngemuva kokuhlangana: Sibayekile?

Ingabe sivumele abantu abanzima noma izimo ukuba zisinqobe? Futhi singaziguqula kanjani thina uqobo lwethu siqhubekele phambili?

I-blog yami yangaphambilini iveze umehluko phakathi kokuqukethwe nenqubo, ngiphawula ukuthi abantu bavame ukubhebhana ngezihloko ezintsha (okuqukethwe) kepha ukuthi ushintsho lweqiniso lubandakanya ukulungisa indlela esikhuluma ngayo noma esenza ngayo (inqubo).

Nalu uhlu lokuhlola olusizayo lokuthuthukisa ukusebenzisana kwakho ukuze "unyaka omusha omuhle" usebenze ngempela:

Ungalindeli ukuthi abanye bazoshintsha. Sebenza ngokwakho esikhundleni salokho. Lapho sibeka okulindelekile okuphansi noma singalindeli abanye, sinethuba elingcono lokwaneliseka. Ngaphezu kwalokho, thola ukuthi ngabe ubhekene nenkinga yobuntu egxilile ngempela. Ukuziphatha komuntu, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, kusitshela lokhu. Uma noma lapho uthola iqoqo lezici ezinzima zabalingiswa, ukuqonda okuvamile nokuxoxisana akuvamile ukusebenza njengoba ngibhale ku-Stop Granting Free Passes to People Hard.

Kuthiwani uma leyo njabulo incike kancane kulabo abaku-cubicle elandelayo noma ingxenye yendlu? Qhubeka ufunde.

Yenza imodeli ushintsho ofisa ukulubona. UMahatma Ghandi uthe, "Kumele ube wushintsho ofuna ukulubona emhlabeni." Yebo, uma sibhekana nezinselelo, singakhulisa nabanye endleleni. Impela, uma sithambekela ekusebenzeni okungafanele kanye nethemba, umbono uhlala uhlala ungakhanyi kangako.

Yenza okuhle. Cabanga ngesilinganiso semibono evumayo nemibi eyenziwe, kungaba sekhaya, esikoleni, emsebenzini, noma phakathi kwabangane.

Kudinga amandla amancane noma amancane kakhulu ukubeka ukumamatheka noma ukuphawula okunakekelayo kunalokho okudingekayo ekububula, ukuhwaqabala noma ukubhuqa. UFred Rogers mhlawumbe udlulise lokhu okungcono kakhulu: “Kunezindlela ezintathu zokuphumelela ekugcineni. Indlela yokuqala ukuba nomusa. Indlela yesibili ukuba nomusa. Indlela yesithathu ukuba nomusa. ”

Ungathathi izinto uqobo. Buka lokhu nokunye ukuhlanekezelwa kwengqondo, njengokucabanga okungokomzwelo, ukucabanga okumnyama nokumhlophe, ukwenza ngokweqile, ukufunda izingqondo zabanye abantu, ukubikezela ikusasa, nokwenza izinto zibe yizinhlekelele.

Udinga usizo olusebenza ngemicabango nokukhomba izinkolelo ezizenzakalelayo, ezingenangqondo? Cela usizo ngohlelo losizo lwabasebenzi (i-EAP) kanye / noma amaseshini ambalwa nomeluleki wezempilo yengqondo osebenzisa i-CBT).

Yiba ngqo. Gcina ekwakheni onxantathu. Ibanga eliseduze kakhulu phakathi kwamaphoyinti amabili umugqa oqondile.

Unokuthile ongakusho komunye umuntu? Cabanga ngomugqa. Lapho lowo mugqa ugeleza, ufana nabantu ababili abangahambisani nhlangothi zombili.

Uma wehlisela umthwalo komunye umuntu — sakhe unxantathu — ukukhululeka kwethu kwesikhashana yilokho nje. Okwesikhashana.

Qondisa ngesizotha futhi ufunde ukuthi ungathambisa kanjani ukuqala ingxoxo kumuntu okudingeka ukhulume naye ngempela.

Hlanza izinkinga ezingokomzwelo. Ezincwadini engizibhalile ngokubambisana, kunezigaba ezine zentukuthelo: ukwakhiwa, inhlansi, implosion, ukuqhuma (noma zombili), nesigaba sokuhlanza. ²

Njengoba ngichazela amaklayenti, uma sichitha isoda phansi kwethu, besingakushiya lapho? Cha, ngoba ibingangcolisa ibala, ihehe izimbungulu, idale ingozi yokuwa, ngamanye amazwi, ibe yisiphithiphithi.

Kepha imvamisa abantu bashiya intukuthelo, ukunamathela okunamathelayo nomaphi lapho kwenzeka khona ngaphandle kokuwahlanza noma ukuwaxazulula. Kufana nokwakhiwa kwamatshe, esaziyo ukuthi kuzophinde kubuyekeze ubudlelwane, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

Yehlisa umoya. Sebenzisa imilayezo ye-I. Gwema izitatimende "zakho" nemibuzo "kungani" ngoba lokhu kukhahlela ukuzivikela.

Unganqamuki kubantu obathandayo. Ngaphandle kokubona, ngaphandle kwengqondo, akunjalo? Akulungile. Izinhlelo zomndeni zisifundisa ukuthi ukusika, enye yezimiso eziyisishiyagalombili zethiyori kaBowen, kuqhuba ukukhathazeka okuningi kunokulungiswa. ³

Ukusika okungokomzwelo kuyindlela eyeqisayo yokuzikhipha, kepha lokhu kunemiphumela yesikhathi eside yobudlelwano obuseduze bakusasa, ngisho nezizukulwane, ngoba ukukhathazeka kunamandla amancane okufakwa. Ukukhathazeka okungapheli kuyanda.

Labo abasikiwe babheka abanye ukuze banelise izidingo zabo zokuxhuma. Lapho lobo budlelwano buba bucayi, ikakhulukazi uma abantu bengasebenzeli ukuzithuthukisa, kwavela izinkinga ezifanayo.

I-copyright @ 2020 nguLoriann Oberlin. Wonke Amalungelo Agodliwe.

Ingxenye Yokuqala Kule Bhulogi:

https://tinyurl.com/Keeping-Spirits-High

Amanye amabhulogi afanayo:

https://tinyurl.com/Free-Pass-Misery

https://tinyurl.com/Sabotaged-Romance

https://tinyurl.com/Mary-Trump-Revelations

2. UMurphy, T. no-Oberlin, L. (2016). Ukunqoba Ukuhlukumeza Okungahambisani Nakho: Ungayinqanda Kanjani Intukuthelo Efihlekile Ekuqedeni Ubudlelwano Bakho, Umsebenzi Wakho Nenjabulo. IBoston: IDaCapo Press.

3. UGilbert, R. (2018). Imiqondo Eight of The Bowen Theory. ILake Frederick, VA: Izindlela Zokuhola Zokucindezela.