Ingabe "Sinabantu Bangempela"?

-Delile

• Amaphuzu abalulekile
• Buyini Ubuqiniso?
• I- "Self True" ayikho

Amaphuzu abalulekile

• "Okwangempela" kungumqondo oqondisa ukuziphatha kwethu.
• Ukuziphatha ngendlela eyeqisayo kuhlotshaniswa nemizwa yobuqiniso, noma izethulo.
• Abantu bavame ukufihla abakufezile ukuze bazwane nabanye.

Kusho ukuthini ukuba yiqiniso?

Engxoxweni yakhe ethandwayo noJoe Rogan, umbhali othengisa kakhulu uDavid Goggins uveze ukwesaba kwakhe okukhulu.

UGoggins wayenobuntwana obubi, wakhula waba isidudla ngokwedlulele, futhi wezwa ubunzima obuningi empilweni yakhe yobudala yobudala. Ngemuva kwalokho waba yiNavy SEAL, umgijimi we-ultra-marathon, kanye nesipika esikhuthazayo esidumile.

UGoggins uthe ukwesaba kwakhe okukhulu wayefa futhi uNkulunkulu (noma noma ngubani uNkulunkulu amnika lo msebenzi) umkhombisa ibhodi elinoluhlu lwezinto ezifezekile: ukulingana komzimba, i-Navy SEAL, ophethe irekhodi, isikhulumi esikhuthazayo esisiza abanye, njll. icabanga ukuthi “akusiyimi lowo.” Futhi uNkulunkulu uyaphendula, "yilokho obekufanele ube yikho."

Buyini Ubuqiniso?

Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esidumile uRoy Baumeister ubhale iphepha elikhangayo lezemfundo mayelana "nokuzimela ngokweqiniso" nokuba yiqiniso. Usikisela ukuthi umuzwa wobuqiniso uqhamuka ekutheni senza ngokuvumelana nedumela esilifunayo.

Ngamanye amagama, abantu bazizwa behambisana kakhulu nobuntu babo beqiniso lapho befeza isithombe sabo senhlalo abayifunayo. Ukwehluleka ukukufinyelela, noma ukulahlekelwa yikho, kuzozizwa kungelona iqiniso.

Lapho bebanjwa benza okuthile abanamahloni ngakho, abantu basho izinto ezinjengokuthi, “Angiyena umuntu enginguye” noma “Kwakungeyena mina ngempela lowo.”

Basho ukuthi izenzo ezilimaza idumela azikhombisi ubunjalo bazo. Lokhu akusho ukuthi banamanga. Abantu abaningi bakholelwa ngempela ukuthi izenzo zabo ezihlazo azibonisi ukuthi bangobani abajule kakhulu.

UBaumeister uyabhala, "Uma inhloso enkulu yomuntu uqobo ukuhlanganisa umzimba wesilwane ohlelweni lwezenhlalo (ukuze luphile futhi lukhiqize), khona-ke ukuhlakulela idumela elihle kuyinto ebaluleke kakhulu, futhi lapho umuntu ephumelela, noma isikhashana, kuzoba khona yiba nomuzwa wokuthi 'yimi lowo!' ”

Usho ukuthi noma yisiphi isenzo esisithathayo esigcina noma esithuthukisa idumela lethu sizosinika injabulo encane. Ngemuva kwalokho sihlobanisa lo muzwa nobuqiniso.

Njengoba isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo sokuziphendukela kwemvelo uGeoffrey Miller siphawulile, isimilo asiveli nje ngoba kwenzeka sizizwa sihle. Ukuzwa okuhle kuguqukile ukukhuthaza isimilo, okungenzeka ukuthi kunenzuzo ethile yokuziphendukela kwemvelo. Umuzwa omuhle ukhona ukuze usenze senze okuningi kokuziphatha okuhle.

UBaumeister uyabhala, “Okunye okwakudina okuthikameza kakhulu abacwaningi bobuqiniso ukuthi ababambiqhaza baseMelika abacwaningayo, kubandakanya izethulo, ngokuvamile babika ukuthi bazizwa bethembekile ngokwengeziwe uma besebenza ngokweqile kunangeniso. IMelika ingumphakathi onobuqili, kodwa noma kunjalo, kuyakhathaza ukuthi ngisho nabethuli bezethulo babezizwa benokwethenjelwa uma benza ubuqili. ”

Impela, ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi abantu babika bezwa ubuqiniso obukhulu lapho beziphatha ngendlela eyeqisayo, enonembeza, ezinzile ngokomzwelo nangobuhlakani. Kungakhathalekile ukuthi bunjani ubuntu babo.

Ukubeka ngokuhlukile, abantu bathambekele ekuzizweleni ngokwengeziwe uma benza izinto ezibalulekile emphakathini, kunokulandela izifiso zabo zangaphakathi.

Ngokuthakazelisayo, ezinye izifundo ziphakamisa ukuthi imizwa yobuqiniso nenhlalakahle iphakeme lapho abantu behambisana namathonya angaphandle kunokumelana nawo. Ukuhambisana nabanye nakho kwakuhlotshaniswa nokuba namandla amaningi nokuzethemba okuphezulu.

Ungase ucabange ukuthi uqobo lwangempela luzobonakala kakhulu lapho abantu bedelela amathonya ezenhlalo. Kepha abantu bazizwa bethembeke ngokwengeziwe kubo uma behambisana namathonya ezenhlalo.

Ngabe uqobo lwethu luyimvu nje ehambisana nanoma yini eyenziwa ngabantu abasizungezile?

I- "Self True" ayikho

U-Baumeister uphakamisa ukuthi uqobo lwangempela akuyona into yangempela. Kungumqondo futhi kuhle.

Umuntu uqobo uyindlela esicabanga ukuthi singaba ngayo. Uma senza ngokuvumelana naleyo nhloso, bese sicabanga ukuthi “nginguye lowo.” Lapho siphambuka kuyo, sicabanga ukuthi “akuyena owami lowo.”

Umbono ohlobene uxoxwe ngudokotela wezengqondo nomcwaningi wobudlelwano u-Eli Finkel. Ukhuluma ngesimo sikaMichelangelo. UFinkel uyabhala: “Engqondweni kaMichelangelo, uDavid wayekhona edwaleni ngaphambi kokuba kuqoshwe ukubaza.

Umqondo ukuthi emishadweni enempilo, umuntu ngamunye ukhomba umlingani wakhe ongcono kakhulu, futhi bayasizana ukuba babe yilokho okungcono kakhulu.

Kepha umqondo kaBaumeister ukuthi sinombono wethu wobuntu bethu obuhle (esikholelwa ukuthi ubuwena bethu beqiniso) futhi sizizwe siyiqiniso ngokwengeziwe lapho sisondela kulowo mgomo.

Lokho abantu abakucabanga njengobuyena babo uqobo kunguqulo yabo enedumela elihle. Umuntu ocabanga kahle owenza umbono omuhle kontanga abahloniphayo. Lapho besondela ngamasentimitha kuleyo ndawo enhle, bazozizwa kahle. Futhi bika ukuthi uzizwa uyiqiniso.

Ngasekupheleni kwalesi sihloko, uBaumeister uyabhala, "abantu babika ukuthi bazizwa beyiqiniso ikakhulukazi lapho benza izinto ezithandekayo emphakathini, izindlela ezinhle, ngokungafani nokuthi, zihambisana nesimo sabo sangempela, izinsumpa nakho konke."

Lo mbono usiza ukuxazulula enye iphazili empilweni yomphakathi.

Ephepheni elinesihloko esithi "Isimo sokudela ukuzwana emphakathini: Ukufihla ubunikazi besikhundla esiphakeme kontanga yakho," abacwaningi bathole ukuthi abantu bavame ukufihla impumelelo yabo enhle kwabanye ukuze bazwane neqembu.

Abaphenyi babhala, "ngenkathi befihla ubunikazi besikhundla esiphakeme kokubili ubuqiniso kanye neqiniso, abantu babheka ukufihlwa kunenzuzo ngoba kunciphisa izinsongo kumuntu, nakwabanye."

Abantu bavame ukwabelana ngokufana abanakho nabanye. Kepha izogodla imininingwane eveza ukuthi banezinga eliphezulu kakhulu.

Abaphenyi basikisela ukuthi abantu benze lokhu ukunciphisa usongo phakathi kwabantu. Ukwenza bushelelezi ubudlelwano bezenhlalo nabanye.

Okungajwayelekile. Ungahle ucabange ukuthi abantu bangafuna uku:

1. Dalula imininingwane ekhulisa isimo mayelana nabo
2. Yiba yiqiniso ngokwabelana ngolwazi oluqotho

Kepha enye indlela yokubuka ukugodla kwabo imininingwane ukuthi abantu babeka phambili ukuzwana nabanye. Abantu baqondiswa ubuntu babo obufanele. Umuntu uqobo othandwa abanye. Ngakho-ke bazama ukungaziqhayisi kakhulu ngalokho abakufezile.