Uma Lolu Lusuku Lomama Wakho Wokuqala Njengomama

-Delile

• Amaphuzu abalulekile
• Izingxenye ezivamile ze-matrescence

Amaphuzu abalulekile

• I-Matrescence ifaka phakathi ukuguquguquka ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo okwenzekayo lapho ungena ekubeni ngumama.
• I-Matrescence ingachaza imizwa edidayo yokuba ngumama omusha njengecala ne-ambivalence.
• Njengomama omusha, kujwayelekile ukuzizwa unqanyuliwe kunguqulo yakho eyedlule futhi ukude nomzimba wakho.
• Uma lolu kuwusuku lwakho lomama lokuqala njengomama, yazi ukuthi Kuthatha isikhathi ukufaka indima futhi uhlanganise ubunikazi bakho obuguqukayo nobuguqukayo.

Uma lolu kuwusuku lwakho lomama lokuqala njengomama, lokho kusho ukuthi wamukele umntwana ngonyaka odlule - unyaka ohlangene kakhulu oneziyaluyalu futhi ongaqinisekile emlandweni wakamuva.

Ungahle uvele emqubeni we-postpartum ebukhali noma usajulile kuwo. Noma ngabe ikuphi, usesikhathini senqubo eyaziwa ngokuthi umabhebhana . Ichazwe njengenqubo yokuba ngumama, i-matrescence ifaka phakathi izinguquko zomzimba nezingokwengqondo ezenzekayo lapho ungena ekubeni ngumama.

Ngicabanga ukuthi kubalulekile ukuba nolwazi nge-matrescence njengomqondo - ukwazi ukubeka igama kulokho okungase kungathandeki futhi kuphazamise izici zeqiniso lakho lamanje - futhi ube nokuqonda okuthile ngesimo sakho ekucabangeni ngaso, ngoba nomaphi usohlelweni, noma ngabe yini onenkinga nayo njengamanje kungenzeka ibe yindalo yonke kunokuba ubona.

Izingxenye ezivamile ze-matrescence

Kucatshangwa ukuthi iMatrescence ifaka lezi zinto / izinselele ezivamile, njengoba kubekwe udokotela wezifo zengqondo u-Alexandra Sacks:

Ukushintsha Amandla Omndeni

Ingane entsha ihlela kabusha futhi idale uhlelo olusha lomndeni futhi ingahle isebenzise izingqinamba ezihlobene nokukhuliswa kwakho.

Ukungaqondakali

Ukuba nemizwa engabonakala iphikisana ngokuba ngumama kungakhathaza futhi kudale necala. Kulungile ukungathandani njalo ngomzuzwana wakho.

Fantasy vs. Reality

Kulula ukwakha okulindelekile mayelana nokuthi ukuba nengane kuzoba njani. Sivame ukulahleka lapho iqiniso lethu liphikisana nalokho okulindelwe.

Ukuba Necala, Ihlazo kanye “Nomama Owenele”
Siyashesha ukuziqhathanisa nabanye futhi lokho esikwenzayo akukaze kube nomuzwa wokuthi kwanele. Singalahleka emisebenzini eqinile, sikhuthazwe ukuphelela nokuzizwa sinecala.

Ngiwutholile umqondo wokuthi umbuzo wokuthi ngabe othile uzolwa nokucindezeleka kwangemva kokubeletha kanye / noma ukukhathazeka akuyona yini enye yokuthi “uma,” kodwa “kungakanani.” Vele, kunokweqisa kulokhu okuhlangenwe nakho okuqinisekisa ukutholakala kwesifo se-perinatal nokukhathazeka kokukhathazeka nokunakekelwa okufanele kanye nokwelashwa. Kepha izingcindezi ezijwayelekile zesimo kanye nemizabalazo yengqondo eguqukayo yomama abasha abanayo ayinakugwenywa ngezinga elithile.

Isikhathi ngemuva kokuthola umntwana ujoyine umndeni wakho siyinselelo enkulu, ngisho nasezimeni ezinhle kakhulu. Kunezici eziningi kakhulu zangaphandle ezisebenza ngokumelene nomama abasha. Esikhathini lapho esikudingayo kungukuhamba kancane, isikhala, ukuphulukiswa, umphakathi, ukwamukelwa, ukwesekwa, sivame ukuhlangatshezwa nokuhlukile - ukungabi khona kwekhefu lokubeletha nezindawo zokusebenza ezingasekelwanga, ukuhlukaniswa ngokwakhiwa komphakathi, ukugcwala kolwazi, ukuqhathaniswa komphakathi, umsebenzi womzwelo ongakhathazekile nomthwalo wengqondo, imizabalazo yesimo somzimba.

Ngakho-ke kujwayelekile, hhayi okwehlukile, ukuzwa ukungazinzi okuthile, ukuhlukaniswa, ukulahlekelwa, ukukhungatheka nokungabaza. Kuvamile ukuzizwa unqanyuliwe kunhlobo yakho owaziyo - ukude nezinhloso zakho nobunikazi bakho, kukude nomzimba wakho. Uma uzizwa sengathi ubuwena bwephuliwe futhi manje kulindeleke ukuthi wenze izinto ezihlukile eziyisigidi ngaso sonke isikhathi, azikho kuwe, awunaphutha. Ukudonsa kwengqondo nokungezwani kuvamile.

Uma lolu kuwusuku lwakho lomama lokuqala njengomama, yazi ukuthi ukuba ngumama kuyinqubo. Kuthatha isikhathi ukufaka indima futhi uhlanganise ubunikazi bakho obuguquguqukayo nobuguqukayo ube ngumqondo wobumbano wobuntu bakho. Ayikho indlela eyodwa ebekiwe yokukwenza. Ungachaza futhi usebenzise ubumama njengoba kunengqondo kuwe. Ngakho-ke zinike isikhathi. Uba ngumuntu omusha. Uyaqhubeka.