Indida Kwezokwelapha: Ukudlala Kokubili Iphoyisa Elihle kanye ne-Bad Cop

Ukulingisa inqubo yenqubo yamaphoyisa ngokufaka iphoyisa / isimo esibi sephoyisa sekuyinto ejwayelekile.Ngeshwa, kudlalwa ngokuhlekwa (okungukuthi, kuyihaba), izigcawu ezinjalo zisebenzisa iqiniso lokuthi le ndlela isetshenziswe ngokukhalipha ingasebenza ngempumelelo emangalisayo. Kungakholisa umuntu ukuthi anikeze imininingwane noma avumelane nokuthile okungenzeka ukuthi bangakucabangi nakukucabanga.

Kafushane nje, ohlelweni olunjalo lokukhohlisa, iphoyisa elibizwa kanjalo "elibi" liphenya umsolwa ngodlame, njengengxenye yomklamo obaliwe wokuhlukumeza, ukwesabisa, nokumphikisa. Futhi ukuxoxisana okunenzondo okunjalo ngokwemvelo kuzala kulowo obuzwayo kukhulisa ukwesaba futhi counter -ukuzinikela.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, "iphoyisa elihle," elijwayele ukubamba iqhaza ekuphenyweni kuphela ngemuva kokuthi iphoyisa elibi liphumelele ekuhlukaniseni ummangalelwa, lenza isimilo esiphansi kakhulu futhi likhombise ukuzwelana naye. Ngaphezu kwalokho, iphoyisa elihle, mhlawumbe elimela ummangalelwa, liphakamisa ukuthi kungenzeka kube nesijeziso esincane uma ebambisana.

Lokho okusolwa ukuthi isigebengu asikwazi ukuthi konke lokhu kungubuqili: alikho iphoyisa elisehlangothini lwalo, futhi konke lokhu kuwuhlelo lomdlalo olwenzelwe ukumnikeza imininingwane eyengeziwe edingekayo ekushushisweni kwakhe. Ngokuphambene nalokho, intshisekelo yabo yokuthi alahlwe yicala ibaholele ekutheni babambisane nomunye , ngokukhohlisa ngokuzenza sengathi abaphikisani. Isimo sabo okuthiwa siyaphikisana simane siyindlela ehlakaniphile, ikakhulukazi uma ummangalelwa engaphendulanga imibuzo yokuqala, yokuthi azibeke icala.

Inqubo enjalo yokuzifihla ihlaselwe njengengalungile — futhi, ezimweni eziningi, ayidingekile. Kepha ngabantu abangazweli, abagodlayo, nakanjani inendawo embikweni wesikhulu wokuthola imininingwane ebalulekile ecaleni. Ngaphezu kwalokho, le ndlela isetshenziswe kudala ezimeni ezahlukahlukene ngaphandle kokugcinwa komthetho, imvamisa ezingxoxweni zebhizinisi eziyinkimbinkimbi. Futhi okuxakayo ukuthi ingalawulwa ngempumelelo ngumuntu oyedwa odlala izindima ezimbili.

Kuyaphawuleka ukuthi abanye abazali abanganelisekanga bafundile ukusebenzisa izindlela ezihlobene nezengqondo noma eziguqukayo zentsha enenkani, edelelayo. Abelaphi abaningi, futhi-ikakhulukazi labo abathambekele ekusebenziseni lokho okubizwa Indida yokwelapha -Buyela kulawa madivayisi okukhohlakala lapho, nge-intuitively, bewabona njengabahlinzeka ngendlela yokuphuma ezimpilweni zokwelashwa.

Futhi, akunakugcizelelwa ngokweqile, ukusetshenziswa okunjalo akusizi ngalutho ngokomzwelo kubo kepha kwiklayenti, ngoba abelaphi abakwazi ukubonwa njengabakhohlisayo uma amasu abo esetshenziselwa inhlalakahle yeklayenti.

Okusemqoka ekuqondeni ukusebenza kokungenelela okuhle kwamaphoyisa / amabi ukuthola ukuqonda kwengqondo okukuso. Ngokusobala, cishe noma ngubani okhulunyelwa kahle nangokuphatha kahle uzophendula kahle kunalapho esondela kabuhlungu, noma ngokhahlo. Kukhona futhi ukuthambekela okunamandla kokuphendula ngezindlela ezihambelana nokuthi umuntu ubhekiswe kanjani, ukubuyisa imfudumalo ngemfudumalo, ukubanda ngokubanda okuphindayo.

Ukuhlanganisa iphoyisa elihle nephoyisa elibi kugcizelela le nkambiso esizalwe nayo, kwandisa amathuba okuthi ukuzitholela okuhle, nokukhululeka kuzosiza umamukeli ukuthi angene ebudlelwaneni bokusebenzisana (vs.

Kuyaziwa ukuthi kungakhathalekile ukuthi amaklayenti akhuthazekile angabonakala kanjani ekwenzeni izinguquko empilweni yabo, bahlala beletha ukungafani okuthile kulo msebenzi. Noma ezimeni okuthiwa zilula, njengokuyeka ukubhema noma ukuzethemba, ukucabanga ngokungathi sína ngokushintsha noma ukuqeda imikhuba egxilile kungakhuphula izinga labo lokukhathazeka, okuholela ekuphendukeni kwemithi yokwelapha — njengokuhlehlisa izinto, ukugwema, ukuqagela, nokuphazamisa.

Ukuze umelaphi azithobe ngokuzithoba, noma aphonsele inselelo, ukumelana neklayenti kuyize futhi akunazwelo ngoba iklayenti kungenzeka linezizathu ezizwakalayo (yize ikakhulukazi zingazi lutho) zokungayeki lokho osekujwayelekile. Futhi uma ukumelana kwabo manje sekucishe “kwalungiswa,” kungenxa yokuthi kunciphisa imizwa yokwesaba noma yamahloni.

Ngemuva kwakho konke, ukuthatha isimilo sabo sokungasebenzi kahle kubenza bazizwe bengenamandla futhi kubasize ukuphatha impilo yabo yansuku zonke ngokungakhathazeki okuncane, noma kunjalo ngokuqaphela bangafisa ushintsho, ngokunganakile bangazizwa bephoqelekile ukuthi balwe nalo. Futhi ukuba "nezingqondo ezimbili" ngento ethile ngokuvamile kusho ukuthi impi yangaphakathi iphakathi kokungazi, ukuzwa ingxenye yobuchopho babo nengxenye yokuqonda, enengqondo (noma ye-neo-cortical).

Ukuthatha lokhu kukhetha okungokomzwelo kuphakamisa ukuba usizo kukwelapha ukwamukela isimo esibonisa (ngaphandle kokuqinisa) ukungaqondakali kweklayenti. Ngaphandle kwezinkambiso zokwelashwa eziyindida, imfundiso yokuziphendukela kokwaziwa ngokuthi yiMotivational Enhancement Therapy (MET) nayo iyindida ebanzi ekuzwelweni kwayo nokumelana namakhasimende hhayi (ngqo, okungenani) ngenhloso yokukhuthaza ushintsho.

Le ndlela ehlonishwa kakhulu, eyenzelwe ekuqaleni izidakwa ezingazweli ekwelashweni, okwamanje isetshenziswa ngezinhlobonhlobo eziningi zokuziphatha okunzima ukukuguqula. Kusebenza ngokubambisana nokungaqondakali kweklayenti, kukufanisa nokuzithoba kokuzithoba, kobuqili okwenziwe ngobuhlakani. Kumelaphi ubuza ngonembeza mayelana nokuthi yini engase ibe nzima noma ibe yingozi kakhulu ngoshintsho oluhlongozwayo, nokuthi ngabe lesi yisikhathi esikahle sokukulandela.

Ngakho-ke abelaphi, ngokwesibonelo, bayalwa ukuthi bagweme noma yikuphi ukuphikisana, ukuzwela ngokwenqaba lapho iklayenti linqaba noma libuyisela emuva, futhi lifune izimpahla ezingasetshenziswanga nezingabukelwa phansi ezingabancoma iklayenti futhi zibakhuthaze ukuthi bazisebenzise kakhulu.

Ngandlela thile, ngokuhlala kanye nokwenza okujwayelekile (okungukuthi, ukufaka amalebuli we-pathological akuvumelekile), "bathatha" ingxenye engemihle yokungaqondakali okusindayo kwamakhasimende, ukuze iklayenti lithole inkululeko entsha, ngisho nenkululeko, ekuboneni okuningi ngengxenye enhle futhi, ngokuzimela, kuthuthukisa umuzwa oqiniseke ngokwengeziwe wokusebenza ngempumelelo.

Ukugqugquzela okuvela ngaphakathi — kunalokho okuvela ngaphandle — kwandisa amathuba okuthi iklayenti “lizoba nelalo” noma yiluphi ushintsho olwenzekayo, luzibhekele ukuzimela okwakukugwema phambilini. Ngoba umelaphi ushiya ngamabomu izinto kwikhasimende, kuqhathaniswa nokuzinqumela ngokwabo ukuthi yini engcono kakhulu kubo (yize umelaphi enza njalo, kepha ngokuqapha, aveza lokho abangafisa ukukucabanga).

Umbhalo obalulekile wabelaphi abasebenzisa le ndlela yokunciphisa ushintsho:

Inhloso kadokotela wokwenza ukuthi iklayenti liyiqonde ngokunembile imiphumela yokuziphatha kwakhe okungahambi kahle futhi liqale nokuncoma izici zalo ezinhle elibonwayo. Lapho i-MET iqhutshwa kahle, iklayenti hhayi umelaphi lizwakalisa impikiswano ngokushintsha. . . . Lelisu lingasiza kakhulu kumakhasimende ethula ngendlela ephikisana kakhulu futhi abonakala benqaba yonke imibono noma iziphakamiso. (kusuka ku- Ibhukwana Lokwelashwa Lokukhuthaza Ukukhuthaza, 1992)

Ngaphandle kwe-MET, kunezindlela eziningi eziphikisanayo ezikhona ezidida futhi zimangaze amaklayenti, ngokumema ngokumangazayo ukuthi ajule futhi ahlole kabusha isimilo esigxilile kepha esizimele. Noma kunjalo, laba belaphi bayakwazisa ukuthi lezo zimilo ezingezinhle zinezici ezithandekayo nakubo.

Incwadi yami ngale ndaba ( Amasu wokuphambanisa ku-Psychotherapy, 1986), ichaza inqwaba yalezi zindlela eziphikisayo-nokuthi zisebenza kanjani futhi kungani zisebenza. Lapha ngizovele ngiphakamise ukuthi iningi lakhelwe ukukhuthaza ushintsho ngokujoyina iklayenti ekuthandabuzeni ngokwelashwa. Yize amagama owelaphi abhekiswe kuklayenti enobungozi ("iphoyisa elihle") uma kuqhathaniswa nokuluma ("iphoyisa elibi"), ukuphawula kwabo kungahle, ngokushesha, kubonakale kucishe kwehlise ushintsho.

Futhi lokhu kusibuyisela emuva lapho siqale khona — ukuthi kungumbango wokungaqondakali kweklayenti okuvimbela ushintsho. Ngakho-ke abelaphi bangakhuphula amathuba abo okuphumelela ngokuhlonipha lolu hlangothi olubi lokunquma kweklayenti.

Kunjengokungathi abelaphi bazama ukufaka, noma ukuthambisa, indlela enenhliziyo elukhuni yephoyisa elibi ngokuyihlanganisa nokuqonda kwephoyisa nokusekelwa okunesihawu. Ngokuletha obala nokukhokha ukuhlonipha okuzwele ekungathandini kweklayenti ukungafuni ushintsho, benza iklayenti — ngokuzimela — likhombe ngamandla nangokuzibophezela engxenyeni enhle yokuphikisana kwabo.

Ukungabaza ngomusa kukadokotela ukukhombisa ngokuzwakalayo ukuthi “mhlawumbe lokhu kungaba nzima kakhulu kuwe” —njengoba begcizelela izinsizakusebenza zeklayenti ukubhekana ngokuphumelelayo noshintsho olunjalo — kungenza iklayenti liphendule: “Cha, ngicabanga ukuthi can qala ukwenza izinto ebesikhuluma ngazo. Futhi lokhu Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ngizoba nokuholwa nokusekelwa okuningi kunangaphambili. ”

© 2021 Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. Wonke Amalungelo Agodliwe.