Indlela Izingane Ezithuthukisa Ngayo Uzwela

-Delile

• Ukuzwela Okufundwayo Okubalulekile
• Ukuzwela Kakhulu Kwabanelungelo?

“Ingane yami eneminyaka emithathu ayibonakali izwelana kakhulu. Ngabe lokhu kusho ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle? ”

"Omunye wangitshela ukuthi izingane azikwazi 'ukwenza' ukuzwelana kuze kube neminyaka engu-9. Ingabe lokho kuyiqiniso?"

Lezi yizibonelo zezinhlobo zemibuzo abazali abasithumelela yona. Kunesizathu esihle sokudideka esihlokweni sozwela. Yize kusobala ukuthi uzwela lubalulekile ekwakhiweni kobudlelwano obunempilo emphakathini kanye nezici zobuntu ezinjengokunakekela nomusa, akuyona into ingane yakho “enayo” noma “engenayo” ngeminyaka ethile. Alikho isethi ecacile yamabhokisi wokuhlola ongawamaka noma isivivinyo esiqondile ongasithatha ukuqinisekisa ukuthi ingane yakho isendleleni yokuthuthukisa uzwela.

Ngempela, ukubuka ingane esenkulisa eduze — ikakhulukazi unake izinguqulo ezengeziwe “zabantu abadala” —ukuphazamisa. Yiqiniso, kunezikhathi lapho uzwela lungavela ngezindlela ezingaqondakali. Ngesonto eledlule nje, ngathinteka lapho uthisha wendodana yami yasenkulisa engithumelela isithombe nge-imeyili enikeza intombazanyana ekilasini lakhe eyayinenkinga. “Nansi ke!” Ngacabanga ngokuziqhenya. “Uzwela!” Lokhu kukhanya okufudumele kwehle kakhulu emahoreni ambalwa kamuva lapho le ngelosi encane ibuka umfowabo ewa ikhanda phezu kwezithende eceleni komgwaqo. Ngenkathi sikhomba ukuthi izinyembezi ezinkulu ezigeleza ebusweni bomfowabo zisitshele ukuthi umfowabo omncane udabukile futhi wethukile, ingane yami endala yaphendula ngokugijimela iziyingi izandla zayo phezu kwezindlebe zayo zimemeza zithi, “Kuyahlekisa lokho!” kaninginingi.

Uma, noma kunjalo, ungadlula okwethusayo kwakho njengomzali futhi ubheke eduze, kusobala ukuthi kuzo zombili lezi zimo indodana yami endala yaba nokusabela okungokomzwelo ekucindezelekeni komunye umuntu. Izimpande zozwela ziqala lapho. Ukwazi indlela yokuphatha leyo mizwa emikhulu futhi uyihumushele ekuziphatheni okungasebenzela omunye umuntu ngokweqiniso kungumsebenzi onzima kakhulu, odinga ukuvuthwa nokwenza.

Ukuzwela kusho ukuthi ingane:

• Uyakuqonda ukuthi ungumuntu ohlukile kulabo abamzungezile nokuthi abanye abantu bangaba nemizwa nemibono eyehlukile kunaye.
• Uyakwazi ukubona imizwa kuye nakwabanye futhi ayiqambe.
• Ingalawula izimpendulo zayo ezingokomzwelo.
• Angazibeka ezicathulweni zomunye umuntu futhi acabange ukuthi omunye umuntu angazizwa kanjani.
• Ungacabanga ukuthi hlobo luni lwesenzo noma impendulo engasiza umuntu ukuthi azizwe engcono.

Umsebenzi omkhulu lowo. Uzwela lungumsebenzi oqhubekayo phakathi nobuntwana nasebusheni futhi lwakhiwa ngezinto eziningi ezibandakanya ufuzo, ubumnene, umongo, nemvelo. Uzwela aluvele luvele ngokuzenzekelayo ezinganeni. Ngenkathi sizalwa sikhulelwe sinomqondo wozwela, ukukhula kwayo kudinga ulwazi nokuzijwayeza.

Izisekelo Ezingokomzwelo

Uzwela kungokuhlangenwe nakho okungokomzwelo nokuqonda. Izakhi ezingokomzwelo zokuzwelana nazo ziqala ukuvela. Izingane ziqala ukubonisa isimo sezemizwa nezinkulumo zalabo abasondelene nabo ngokushesha. Ngenxa yama-mirror neurons, izinsana ezineminyaka engama-18 ubudala zivame ukukhombisa ukuphendula kwezinye izingane ezisenkingeni. Asifundisi izingane ukwenza lokhu; bazalwa benobunzima bokubeka imephu okwenzeka kwabanye ebuchosheni nasemizimbeni yabo.

Okuhlangenwe nakho okungokomzwelo kwasekuqaleni phakathi kwezinsana nabanakekeli babo kubalulekile ekukhuleni kozwela. Njengoba abanakekeli bekhulisa futhi benakekela izinsana, izingane zenza ubudlelwane obubalulekile phakathi kokusebenzisana okuhle kwabantu, amasistimu wokuvuza, kanye nemizwa yokuzola nokuphepha. Izingane ezizizwa ziphephile, zivikelekile, futhi zithandwa ekugcineni zizwela kakhudlwana ezidingweni ezingokomzwelo zabanye. Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zibiza lokhu kuxhumana phakathi kwabanakekeli nezinsana ngokuthi "okunamathiselwe" futhi ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi ikhwalithi yokunamathiselwe iyisandulela sozwela nesihawu kamuva empilweni.

Ukuzizwa Nokucabanga

Njengoba izingane zikhula, izingxenye eziqondakalayo zozwela ziqala ukuvela futhi zigcwalise izifanekiso ezingokomzwelo abazakha phakathi neminyaka yokuqala yokuphila. Ngeminyaka yasenkulisa, izingane ziqala ukwazi ukuthi abanye abantu banemizimba ehlukene, imizwa, kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho. Bathuthukisa lokho okubizwa ngokuthi yi "theory of mind," okubenza bakwazi ukuzibandakanya "ekuthatheni imibono," eyandulela ukukwazi ukuma ezicathulweni zomunye umuntu futhi banakekele ukuthi lokho kuzwakala kanjani. Umehluko phakathi kokunye nokukhula uvuthwa masinyane phakathi nobuntwana. Isibonelo, uma ingane enonyaka owodwa ibona ukuthi umngane uphatheke kabi ingahamba iyofuna umama wayo ozomduduza. Ingane eneminyaka emibili nohhafu esesimweni esifanayo ingathola umama womngani wayo ngoba manje iyaqonda ukuthi umngani wayo uzofuna umzali wakhe ngesikhathi sosizi. Vele, lokhu kuhlangana kusesezigabeni zokuqala zentuthuko futhi kukhawulwe ezimeni izingane ezizibonile ngokwazo, ziholwa izimpendulo ezenziwa ngabantu abadala abazinakekelayo.

Izakhi zokuqonda zokuzwela zingena kwezazo ngeyisithupha noma eziyisikhombisa, lapho ingane ikwazi kakhulu ukuthatha umbono womunye umuntu futhi inikeze izixazululo noma usizo lapho ibona umuntu ososizini. Njengoba amakhono okuphatha ezingane evuthwa futhi bekwazi ukulawula ubunzima babo, bathola "isikhala sokuqonda" abasidingayo ukuxhumana nesipiliyoni somunye umuntu ngaphandle kokuzizwa bekhungathekile ngokuphelele. Wonke lo mkhuba uyisisekelo sezinkinga eziyinkimbinkimbi zokuziphatha nezokuziphatha abantu abasha abaqala ukuzenza njengokuhlukumeza, ukungalingani, noma ukucwasa ngokobuhlanga.

Ukuzwela Okufundwayo Okubalulekile

Ukuzwela Kakhulu Kwabanelungelo?