Ingabe Ubungumntwana Oqine Kakhulu?

Ubuchopho babantu buyahlukahluka. Ucwaningo lukhombisile ukuthi abanye abantu bazalwa benokwakheka kwezinzwa okungabenza babe namandla ngokwengeziwe ngokomzwelo noma ngokwengqondo, bazwele, futhi bavuleleke ngokwengeziwe ezintweni ezingaphandle kunabantu abaningi.

Bazi kakhulu ubuqili; ubuchopho babo benza imininingwane futhi bayibonakalise ngokujulile. Ngokusemandleni abo, bangakwazi ukubona ngokuqaphelekayo, enembile, futhi baqaphelisise ubuqili bemvelo. Kodwa-ke futhi bakhungathekile ngamagagasi ahlala njalo ezinhlobonhlobo zenhlalo namandla abanye ngokomzwelo nangokwengqondo.

Ukusuka lapho uthola khona, indlela ebonakalayo yabantu yokubona nokuba semhlabeni ayabiwa yilabo abasondelene nabo. Njengoba bacabanga kakhudlwana futhi bezizwa bebanzi, babuye bafinyelele imikhawulo yabo ngokushesha okukhulu. Bathinteka kalula indawo ebazungezile kanye nalabo ababazungezile, okungabhebhethekisa umthelela wanoma yiziphi izehlakalo eziyinkinga noma ukuntuleka eminyakeni yabo yokuqala.

Ngokudabukisayo, ngenxa yokuntuleka kokuqwashisa nokuqonda emndenini nasezweni elibanzi, izingane eziningi ezinamandla zikhule zifaka inkolelo yokuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle ngabo, noma ukuthi ngandlela thile zinamaphutha, ziningi kakhulu ', noma 'inobuthi.'

​ "Ngiyehlukile, hhayi ngaphansi '" - Umkhulu wethempeli

AMA-APILE AWE KUKHANYA NEZIHLAHLA

Izinselelo ezihlukile zivela lapho ingane enamandla ngokomzwelo izalwa emndenini lapho abazali noma izingane zakwabo zingasebenzi ngendlela efanayo.

Emsebenzini wakhe ongapheli othi 'Kude Nesihlahla,' u-Andrew Soloman ukhuluma ngomehluko phakathi kokuzuzwa njengefa (mpo) nokuzimela okwehlukene ngokuzimela (okuvundlile). Imvamisa, iningi lezingane lihlanganyela okungenani ezinye zezici nemindeni yazo: Izingane ezinemibala zizalwa ngabazali bebala; Abantu abakhuluma isiGrikhi bakhulisa izingane zabo ukuthi zikhulume isiGreki. Lezi zimfanelo namagugu zidluliselwa zisuka kumzali ziye enganeni ezizukulwaneni ngezizukulwane ngeDNA kanye namasiko. Nokho, izingane azihlali zifaniswa nabazali bazo; bangathwala izakhi zofuzo zokulahla kanye nezici eziguquguqukayo ezingaphezu kwamandla omuntu. Lapho othile ethola isici esingajwayelekile kumzali, kubhekiselwa kuye ngokuthi 'ubuwena obuqondile.' Ubunikazi obuvundlile bungabandakanya ukuba yisitabane, ukukhubazeka ngokomzimba, ukuba ne-autism, ukuba nesiphiwo ngokwengqondo noma ngokuzwela.

Kungaba nzima ngokwedlulele kunoma yibaphi abazali abanikezwa izingane ngezindlela zokuphila nezidingo abazijwayele. Ingane eyisitabane ezalwa ngabazali abaqondile, ngokwesibonelo, iphakamisa inqwaba yezinselelo uma kukhulunywa ngokuqonda nokwamukela. Ubunikazi obuqondile buvame ukuhlonishwa njengobunikazi; okuvundlile kuphathwa njengamaphutha. Noma iziphi izindlela ezingajwayelekile zokwehluka, kufaka phakathi ukuqina ngokomzwelo nokuzwela, kuvame ukwehlukaniswa 'njengokugula' okufanele kulungiswe, kunokuba kukhonjwe ubunikazi.

Isiko lethu lidlala indima ekwenzeni lokhu kunqanyulwa kuqhubeke. Kunokuthile okuyisidala emvelweni wethu wobuzwe okwenza umuntu enqabe esingakujwayele. Yize umhlaba wethu wonkana wenze inqubekela phambili enkulu ekuqedeni ukwahlukana phakathi kwesigaba, ubulili, kanye nohlanga, ukuqwashisa nokuhlonipha izici "ze-neuro-divergent" ezinjengokuqina ngokomzwelo akukaze kungene ekuzileni komphakathi. Njengomphakathi siyaqhubeka nokugula abantu abanezindlela ezihlukile zokucabanga, imizwa, okuhlobene nokuba semhlabeni. Ngaphansi kwethonya lesiko elingenakukwazi ukwamukela ukwehluka, abanye abazali baye baqonda ukuthi ubunikazi bezingane zabo bungeyona nje inkinga kepha nokuhluleka komuntu siqu noma ukuthukwa.

Kuthatha ukuqina okwengeziwe emindenini ukuze ifunde ukubekezelela, ukwamukela, futhi ekugcineni igubhe izingane ezingezona obekucatshangwa ekuqaleni. Iqiniso lokuthi akukho "mhlahlandlela" wokuba ngumzali, ikakhulukazi lapho ingane yabo ingenakusingathwa ngezindlela ezijwayelekile, kushiya igebe elibuhlungu lokunqanyulwa phakathi kwabazali nengane. U-Andrew Solomon, owenza izingxoxo ezingaphezu kuka-4000 ngencwadi yakhe wabhala: “Ukuba ngumzali kungazelelwe kusifaka ebudlelwaneni obuhlala njalo nomuntu esingamazi. Imindeni yezingane ezishubile ngokomzwelo yethulwa ngemfoloko emgwaqweni; Bangala noma bathathe ingane yabo ngempama ngenxa yokuxaka kwabo, noma bavukele kuleso simo bese bezivumela ukuthi ziguqulwe ngokujulile yisipiliyoni sabo.

"'Baphi abantu?' Iqale kabusha inkosana encane ekugcineni. 'Isizungu esincane ehlane ...'
‘Kunesizungu uma uphakathi kwabantu, futhi,’ kusho inyoka. ” —Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, INkosana Encane

IZINSELELE EZIQHELEKILE EZIBHEKENE NENGANE EQINILE

Uma ubuzwela ngokomzwelo futhi ujulile impilo yakho yonke, cishe uzobona okunye kwalokhu okuhlangenwe nakho useyingane:

UKUQEDWA

Kusukela ekuzalweni, izingane ezinomdlandla zinemingcele enamandla evumayo. Bezwa imisindo efiphele, bathole iphunga elicashile futhi babone izinguquko ezicashile kakhulu endaweni ebazungezile. Bangathola ukudla okuthile kunambitheka kakhulu, noma bangakwazi ukugqoka izindwangu ezithile.

Bangathola imizwa yabanye abantu, imisindo nezinye izinto zemvelo njengokungena ngaphakathi nangaphakathi kwazo, noma ukuthi zihlangane nalabo abahlangana nabo. Ekhaya, bazizwa zikhathi zonke zokushintshwa kanye nezinkulumo ezingaqondile zemizwa yabazali babo futhi baqhutshwa ngokuqhubekayo yimicimbi engathinti kangako ingane yakubo.

Izingane eziqinile zinonembeza ngendlela emangalisayo. Bahlale bezama ukuthola inkambo efanele yezenzo futhi bangaba nzima kubo. Isibonelo, bavame ukuthatha izibopho eziningi ebudlelwaneni. Lapho kuvela izingxabano, basheshe baphethe ngokuthi kukhona abakwenzile okungalungile, bese behlulwa wukuzigxeka, nehlazo.

Ukunyakaziswa ngokuqhubekayo nokuhlatshwa ngamandla abo nemicimbi ebazungezile, lezi zingane kungenzeka zingalokothi zithole isikhala sengqondo noma ukusekelwa ukuze zikwazi ukuqina ngokomzwelo. Noma sebekhulile, bangazizwa bengazinzile kakhulu futhi bengazungezile; futhi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, abaningi bahlushwa izinhlungu zomzimba, amandla ancishisiwe nokukhathala.

UKUZIVA NGOKUKHONA WEDWA

Ingane enamandla ithwala imininingwane ejulile. Bazwela ebuhlungwini bomhlaba, kokubazungezile okuseduze nasemhlabeni obanzi. Bazizwa benesizungu ukuthi kube nguyena kuphela owaziyo ukuthi kwenzekani ngaphansi kwe-facade yomphakathi ejwayelekile nokuzwana; abaningi bazizwa benecala ngokungakwazi ukudambisa ubuhlungu nokuhlupheka abakubonayo.

Ezingeni elithile, bavuthiwe ukwedlula ontanga yabo. Ngenkathi yengqondo nengokomoya emdala kunaleyo yangempela, le 'miphefumulo emidala' inomuzwa wokuthi ayikaze ibe nobuntwana. Izingane ezinesiphiwo, ikakhulukazi njengoba zingena ebusheni, zithola ukuthi abantu abadala abaphethe abafanelwe igunya labo.

Yize bebonakala bezimele, ekujuleni kwale miphefumulo emincane kuthwala ukulangazelela othile abangancika kuye ngokuphelele, baxhumane naye, ukuze ekugcineni bakhululeke futhi banakekelwe. Njengoba enye ingane ikuchazile, bazizwa “njengabafokazi abalahliwe abalinde umkhumbi ongumama ukuba eze bazobayisa ekhaya” (Webb, 2008).

Ukuqamba kwengqondo okunamandla nengqondo nakho kuzinikeza impilo yangaphakathi ecebile nebonisa ngokujulile engabelwanga yilabo abayizungezile. Balwa nokukhathazeka okukhona okufana nokuphila nokufa kanye nencazelo yempilo futhi bazithole besezweni elingenangqondo nelingenanjongo abangenakwenza okuncane ukukuguqula. Kodwa-ke, lapho bezama ukutshela abanye ngemicabango yabo, bavame ukuhlangana nokudideka noma inzondo. Njengoba kungekho muntu ozoxhumana nabo ekujuleni kobuntu babo, noma aqaphele ukugcwala kwalokho abayikho, bathwala umuzwa ongazanyazanyiswa wokuba nesizungu kuze kube sebudaleni.

"Kwesinye isikhathi kuye kwakubonakala sengathi impilo yakhe ibuthakathaka njengedandelion. Ukudonsa okuncane okuvela kunoma iluphi uhlangothi, kwathiwa kushaywa izingcezu." -Katherine Paterson, Ibhuloho eliya eTerabithia

UKULAHLEKELA KWABO NGOKWABO NAKWABANYE

Izingane ezinamandla ziqaphile ngobuzenzisi, ukuhlupheka, izingxabano, nobunzima bendawo eziyizungezile, ngisho nangaphambi kokuba zikwazi ukukuchaza noma ukuzisingatha.

Ingane enesiphiwo sokuqonda ikhungathekile ukuphikisana phakathi kokudlidlizela okungokomzwelo abakuthola kubantu abadala kanye nasesimweni sabo sobuso: Babona ngemaski yokufaneleka, ukumamatheka okuphoqelelwe, noma amanga amhlophe. Lokhu kungafani kwenza ukuthi ingane ingathembi. Ukubona ukungabi nabulungisa nobuzenzisi bomphakathi kusenesikhathi nakho kubaholela ekutheni bazizwe bephelelwe yithemba futhi benombono wokugxeka.

Uma lapho bezama ukwabelana ngalokhu abakubonayo, bavaliwe, bangaqala ukungabaza ukwahlulela kwabo, umuzwa, nokuhlanzeka. Bangase futhi bazizwe benecala ngokuba nalokhu kucabanga kwangaphambili. Lapho bengatholi noma ngubani oqonda ubuqiniso babo, bangahle bathathe isinqumo-ngokungazi banqande umuzwa nemizwa yabo, futhi babe yintsha noma abantu abadala abangazi ukuthi bakholwe ini, banqume kanjani, noma bathembele kubani.

UKUTHOLA IZINGXENYE

Lapho kuhlanganiswa nokwethembeka okukhulu, ukuqonda kungaletha izinselele zokusebenzelana nabanye. Ingane enamandla izizwa iphoqelekile ukuthi iveze lokho eyaziyo futhi ayizimisele ngokudlala umdlalo wobuso bezenhlalo. Ngokudabukisayo, ukukhuluma kwabo iqiniso kuvame ukungathandeki emhlabeni.

Njengezithunywa zeqiniso eliphazamisayo, basolwa ngokudala ukungezwani. Okungcono kakhulu, zingumthombo wokudideka kepha okubi kakhulu, zingumthombo wokuhlekwa usulu. Ekhaya, baba yimpongo. Esikoleni, baba yizisulu zabahlukumezi noma bahlehliselwe abalahliwe emaphethelweni amaqembu ezikole.

Ukukhetha phakathi kobuqiniso babo nokwamukelwa abanye abantu kuyinselelo enkulu kunoma yimuphi umuntu omusha. Ingane enamandla ingakhula izizwa izenyeza ngokumangazayo ngokungafani kwayo nabanye, ize iyokweqisa, abanye bakholelwa ukuthi ngandlela thile 'banobuthi' noma bayingozi, futhi baphila ngokwesaba okungapheli kokuxoshwa emndenini wabo noma emphakathini.

"AbakwaPotter bamoyizela futhi bamqhweba uHarry wabe esebabheka ngokulamba, izandla zakhe zacindezela ingilazi ngokungathi wayenethemba lokuwela kuyo futhi abafinyelele. Wayenobuhlungu obukhulu ngaphakathi kuye, injabulo engaphelele , usizi olwesabekayo. " - UJK Rowling, UHarry Potter kanye noMatshe woMthakathi

UKUZWA BATHI "BAKHULU KAKHULU"

Izingane ezinamandla zinezidingo ezinkulu. Kusukela besebancane, baphila ngengcindezi yobuciko babo futhi banesifiso sezingxoxo ezishukumisa ingqondo, ukucabangisisa okujulile nezimpendulo zencazelo yempilo. Impilo yabo yangaphakathi ihlatshwe ukukhathazeka ngokuziphatha, ukukholelwa okuqinile, umbono, ukuphelela kanye nokuthanda okunamandla. Kodwa-ke, ngaphandle kokuqonda okwanele okuvela kubantu abadala ababazungezile, bangaqondwa kabi njengabanzima ngenhloso. Ngenxa yalokhu, izidingo zabo zemvelo zenani elanele lokukhuthaza nokwesekwa zingasuswa noma zincishwe.

Ngisho nabazali abasekela kakhulu abagunyaza ukuzwela kwabo nejubane labo, izingane eziningi ezinamandla ziyazi ukuthi ngandlela thile 'ziningi kakhulu' kulabo abazungezile. Bangase bagxekwe ngokusobala, noma bavele benqatshelwe ngokuphelele ngokufuna kakhulu, ukushesha kakhulu, ukungabi nalwazi ngokweqile, ukukhathalela ngokweqile, ukuklabalasa kalula, noma ukuphelelwa isineke ngokweqile. Ngokubona ukuthi ubuntu babo bemvelo bungaba nzima kwabanye, banganquma ukuvala kancane kancane, bazakhele ‘umuntu ongamanga,’ futhi banciphise ukujabula nentshiseko yabo.

"Futhi uMax, inkosi yazo zonke izinto zasendle, ubenesizungu futhi efuna ukuba lapho umuntu emthanda kakhulu kunabo bonke." —UMaurice Sendak, Lapho Izinto Zasendle Zikhona

UKUKHUMBULA INGANE EQINILE KUWE

Ikhaya lakho kungenzeka noma lalingazange libe yisiphephelo somphefumulo wakho osemusha obucayi, onamandla futhi onesiphiwo. (Encwadini elandelayo, sizobheka ezinye zezinto ezinobuthi zomndeni ezinobuthi izingane ezinothando nolwazelelelo ezivame ukungena kuzo). Ukwehluka kungaba nesizungu, kepha ukuhlupheka kwangempela kuqhamuka ngokufaka ngaphakathi ngaphakathi umuzwa wokuthi wena, njengomuntu, ngokuyisisekelo 'awulungile.'

Ukube impilo yakho yonke ubuzizwe njengoMartian edingiselwa umhlaba, kungathatha isikhashana ukungazi nje kuphela kepha futhi uzizwe enhliziyweni yakho ukuthi ukuba namandla akusona isifo. Ukuba namandla kuza namakhono nezimfanelo eziyigugu kakhulu. Unamandla angajwayelekile okuqonda nokuzwelana nabanye, kanye nokukwazi ukucabanga ngemizwa yakho, izinhloso nezifiso zakho. Kuwo wonke umlando, umfutho uvame ukubhangqwa nezinye izinhlobo zamathalente ahlukile ezindaweni zomculo, ubuciko bokubukwa, ezemidlalo nobuciko. Ukuzijabulisa kwakho akuhlobene kakhulu nokupha kuphela; bayizipho ngokwabo. Kukuwe manje, ukuhlinzeka ikhaya eliphephile lengane yakho engaphakathi. Okwamanje, ngaphansi kwamaphiko akho, bangaba nobuntwana obondlayo, obuphephile, futhi obujabulisayo.

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Umphefumulo wakho ojulile usendle futhi awulawulwa.

Akunandaba ukuthi uzama kangakanani ukuyivala, uyiqhathe, wenze sengathi ayikho,

ubunjalo bayo obuzenzekelayo buhlala budabula njalo.

Kwesinye isikhathi, iqiniso lakho liyakunyonyobela

ngesimo sokwesaba, uthando, isimangaliso, nenjabulo.

Kuyaphoqa kakhulu ukuthi awunakho okunye ongakwenza ngaphandle kokuzinikela ekuthululelweni okujabulisayo.

Ngaleso sikhathi esiyigugu, uzizwa ungena ekujuleni kwenhliziyo yakho, ungaphazanyiswa.

Ungumnikazi womphefumulo wakho wasendle, othokozisayo, nothanda.

Leyo ngane enamandla ngaphakathi kwakho ilinde, ekugcineni,

uzwakale, ubonwe, futhi ubonge ukuthi bangobani.

“Uyisimangaliso. Uhlukile. Kuyo yonke iminyaka edlule, akukaze kube khona omunye umntwana onjengawe. Imilenze yakho, izingalo zakho, iminwe yakho ehlakaniphile, indlela ohamba ngayo. Ungaba nguShakespeare, uMichelangelo, uBeethoven. Unamandla okwenza noma yini. ” - UHenry David Thoreau